Curtis is a big boy with a courageous appetite for extra curricular activities. His heart of gold is what drives him to make everybody a coffee in the morning. But sometimes that gets the better of him. One horny morny it takes a turn for the worst...
"Ugggghhhh" that is the noise I made when I woke up like 5 minutes ago. I shoved the pillow over my head and tried to process the night before. As I was doing this I remembered that I was in the one of our many guest bedrooms and would have to continue sleeping in there until the workers came to fix my window. All thanks to Curtis!
The worst part is that I really admired him and actually thought he quite liked me, I mean this time yesterday I was waking up to an Instagram DM from him calling me "lil mama" 🙄 I'm seriously confused I must be in yet another Curtis confuffle. Like I said the other day I know I'm not like other girls but that doesn't mean that he gets to take me for granted. I'm Miranda Fergie MBE after all. Speaking of which I actually got a message from both the Pope and Ed Sheeran earlier after I put loads of heart broken emojis on my Snapchat story with the caption "slow reply's, literally wanna die rn because of a certain massive prick" of course I said slow reply's but I did respond as soon as the message came through (oops) the Pope put "I'm so sorry babe, talk to me anytime, stay strong hun. Love you always xoxo" and Ed popped up and put "girl literally wipe your tears you deserve better. Whoever that massive prick is tell them that your dad will literally batter them, it always works. Hope that helps, love you lots girly 💕" So sweet am I right 🥺 I have the best fam.
N E ways... It's Tuesday so I have school again today god I hope no one is overly obsessed with me today because my mum put on Facebook that I got harassed by a nonce who smashed my window last night, the police are on the lookout for a 6'7 old man with a bald head and povo clothing. So they probs won't interrogate Curtis because he's only like 6'3 which is super small.
As I walk into school everyone is whispering about me, just like I thought :( it's so hard being popular I just want a normal life away from the fame for once ffs I can't cope. Ok and then I met up with my two main best friends because all the rests are kind of.. well you know bit poor compared to me and I'm actually considering kicking one of them out of the group because between you and me I'm pretty sure she's here on a scholarship.
My two main best friends are called Gertrude (Gertie for short) and Cornelius (corn dog for short) "oh my goodness, are you ok Miranda! I saw your Snapchat last night and I saw your mums Facebook this morning. I hope they catch him soon! What happened?!" Asked Gertie "Yeahhh what happeneddd?" Copied corn dog "Right you'll litro never believe this but this like povo old man fully broke in through my bedroom window last night and tried to kidnap me for ransom and my riches. I battered him with my bare hands which was like super heroic of me but then he pussied out and ran away, super scary I have severe depression now and I'm pretty sure I've broken my thumb so now I have to leave lessons early so no one bashes me in the hallway" I whispered. I didn't want anyone untrustworthy to hear just in case they felt to sorry for me. The both gasped and hugged me and I don't blame them I would hug me too.
Now that I'm home I have to revise for my GCSES which is boring but-
*ding ding ding* Oh my god! The cheek of Curtis is genuinely uncomprehendable (if that's even a word idk) I just got a text from a private number and it reads. "I think you'll know who this is (but if you don't it's Curtis lol) meet me in the woods behind you're house in 10 minutes. We have some things to discuss, if you don't show up trust me you'll regret it. P.S don't tell anyone, if you do I'll get my dad to beat up your dad -Curtis P" Omg I'm literally shitting it. Wait shut up and suck it up Miranda you can do this.
Ten minutes later In the woods
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"Well well well.. finally, would have thought you'd have forgotten about me!" Said Curtis. "Curtis literally what are you on? I'm on time" "True 😏 I just wanted to annoy you." *he just stares at me for a second, looking quite sheepish* "Hello earth to Curtis" I say clearly getting impatient. "Yes sorry I was just thinking about my actions. I asked you out here just to say that I am sincerely sorry. Like genuinely sorry, i should have never have smashed your window or stormed out of your performance. It was wrong of me and I didn't mean it when I said I hated you." He began. "If I'm being honest Miranda Fergie MBE, I'm jel of you! And- and I really like you. I mean you have your huge mansion and your statues of the Pope and Ed Sheeran, and I've never had those in my house." Tears start to drip down his peach fuzz cheeks as his bottom lip quivers over.
I start to feel sorry for him, I know I shouldn't but he just confessed his love for me and said sorry. And tbh I believe him. Besides it's not his fault he's poor I'd be jel of me too :( "Ok Curtis I forgive you, and you don't have to call me that anymore, just call me Miranda. Will you forgive me too? I didn't mean any of what I said and I didn't mean to outshine you. Your performance was way better than mine anyway 😔 there I admit it!" "Ahh thank you so much my gooey pudding! Of course I forgive you!" He looks down at his phone and gasps. "Oh no gotta bolt, aj just burnt his girlfriends face. I er I...I'll see you tomorrow.. byeee"
And then he was gone, I'm glad I heard Curtis' confession it really cleared things up. Ahh he admires me so much, I can tell ;)
