Butter for the Balls

Chapter One

Adriannadrinalin Sasquatch (Adrianna for short) knew nothing of love, or so she thought. Was it love that ended her relationship two years ago with Harold? Was it love that kept her working through holidays and weekends, hoping to build her business and hone her skills in her profession? Or was it the love of her profession that kept her coming back? Adrianna did not know. All Adrianna knew could be boiled down to one word: Butter.

Days and nights she would sit in her kitchen, churning butter for the castle cooks. Before working for the Duke, her work station was in her own house, where she made butter for the townspeople until she got a job outside of the city. She had started young, age five to be exact, when her father made her a toy churner from firewood and said lovingly, "Get ta workin ya lazy ass flambag!"

Adrianna would dream about his funeral daily, the shallow pit in their backyard where his corpse was shoved many years ago. Even as they were shoveling the dirt onto his writhing body, she swore he could hear his voice calling out to her ... "Adrianna! You sack of shi-"

A door slammed and Adrianna snapped to attention, churning mallet at the ready, a formidable weapon (if you intended to kill anything smaller than a wimpy bonsai tree). But as she saw the figure in the doorway, she lowered her arms. Hugh Mungus towered in the kitchen doorway, his head brushing the ceiling and lengthy arms dragging on the floor.

"Miss Sasquatch," he began to raise his arms to his face, an act that might take decades. "The plans for the Ball have been made, and the list of foods were just sent to the cooks so that we can start preparing. Get ready for the biggest Ball you have ever seen."

"Thank you, Hugh." She highly doubted this would be the biggest. She has seen many, many large balls.

"Also," he continued nasally. "A man waits outside for you, he says he is your brother."

"Oh!" Adrianna got up from her seat, it had been months since she had seen her brother. "Tamlin is back!"

"He is quite ugly."

"He was in the army."

"Ah, that explains it."

I ran outside into the gardens into Tamlin's arms, "You're back! You're back!"

"What about my back?"

"How was the war?" I beamed up at him.

"Treacherous as usual, but the worst part was when I returned home and saw that my wife had taken up a new hobby of collecting and fucking other men and my kid got dysentery and died."

"Oh, how unfortunate. Anyways, let me tell you about how much of a spinster I am! I am a 25 year old virgin and... oh.... I'm so fucking horny. I devote all of my life to butter, and I haven't had any time to meet any men!" Adrianna exclaimed.

"I really didn't need to know that, Adrianna. Sometimes you should keep these things to yourself." Tamlin cringed and continued, "So, I think I am going to see Mother back in the city, whatever it was called... Dish... or something."

"Bath." Adrianna loathed the city, the bustling people, and especially her mother. It all felt so suffocating.

"Yes, Bath. I'll be leaving this evening, since there isn't anything for me to stay at home."

Adrianna looked at her brother apologetically and touched his arm, "I understand. I just can't imagine why you would want to torture yourself by staying with Mother. She will be all up in your business! I could imagine that she will ask you countless questions about Meg and your kid. I forgot their name, oops."

"Yes, I suppose so. But I think I might just tell her she died or something."

"She would ask how, and where she was buried, and why she wasn't invited to the funeral. That won't do."

"Don't worry, I'll figure it out. I might not say anything. I hope you are well though, strange sibling?"

"Absolutely! Currently we are preparing for the grand Ball of the season. I could put you on the guest list if you'd like."

"Thank you, I would appreciate that. I'd love to come." He patted her on the shoulder and turned to leave, "I think it's time for me to go, Adie, I'll see you soon."

"Bye, Bye!" Adrianna waved as he jumped on his horse and cantered away. Adrianna raced back into the kitchen to return to her butter; she couldn't be away for too long or she would miss it. Luckily Hugh was still in the room, and she gave a thankful sigh before running to her bucket of butter and smiled down at it, "I'm back munchkins! Hello, mummy is here." Adrianna cooed to the milky substance beneath her.

After a few more minutes of hard pounding, Hugh and her began planning for the Grand Ball.