𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖐𝖓𝖔𝖜𝖘 𝖇𝖊𝖘𝖙 - 𝖙𝖚𝖇𝖇𝖔 ANGST

home bitter home

Tw: abuse, panick attack

Again pls tell me if I missed any

Tubbo stood outside the quartz building, it was beautiful, and it disgusted him. All shlatt ever cared about was money and power, and all the ways he could flaunt said money. The house that tubbo grew up in looked particularly similar to this one.

He knew he had to knock on the door, he knew he had to face his father again, but he couldnt bring himself to do it. Shlatt was good at telling when someone was lying, and if he found out about this tubbo was beyond screwed, you might aswell start digging his grave already.

It was a simple movement, just lifting his hand up and knocking, but he just couldnt . Nothing was stopping him from fleeing into the woods right now. He could go and be with tommy and wilbur and everything would be fine. But shlatt had his ways. His life would be back to it's normal state of hating him soon enough.

So he raised his hand up, and knocked. The door was soon answered by the man in that scarily pristine suit and so obviously fake smile.

That smile dropped when he saw who was at the door. Soon enough rough hands were in tubbos hair and he was on the quartz flooring again.

"Did you do it?" His tone was harsh
"Yes. I did it. They're gone." He pulled the bloody knife from his pocket, and shlatt snatched it out his hand immidietly, pulling it towards his face.

Tubbo watched in worry as he flipped it over, once, then twice, and then the third time he stopped, and looked dead straight into tubbos eyes.

"This is pigs blood"

Then everything was a big mess of screams and blood and tears, and oh my god so much pain. His whole body ached, and it diddnt help that he was back in the basement, the only thing to lie on was cardboard boxes and cement ground.

He had fucked up. And if that was what he got for lying what would he get for spying on shlatts country?

He diddnt like to think about that.

He passed out where he was, he was so weak and tired it was the only thing he could do.

He shot up in bed, cold sweat dripping down his face. Without even looking around he knew he was in his childhood room. Great. Another nightmare. He got up and walked over to the mirror on the wall, expecting to see his childhood self as he usually did, but instead he was faced with the image of himself, beaten and bruised from the day before, even in the same clothing.

His mind was really twisted sometimes. He turned away, not wanting to look at the image before him any longer, and started to walk down the hall to shlatts office.

It was just a dream, either when his father started to hurt him the dream ended, or he diddnt feel any of it. He wasnt afraid of his father in his dreams, in fact he felt some more power of him, he was in his mind, he was the one pulling the puppet strings.

Eventually he reached the large mahogany door and he opened it, not caring for knocking.

"Ah. I see you're awake." He never said that before. This was a weird dream.
"Tubbo I've decided it would be best if you took a break from the smp for a while and stayed with me! In your childhood home! I will have to be gone most of the time because of presidential stuff though-" wait. Was this a dream? No no no no NO. it was dream! It had to be!
"This is a dream, right-?" Shlatt laughed, and he immidietly knew it wasnt
"A dream? No, your here, with me"
"For how long?"
"However long I say so. Now leave I dont want to talk to you any more."

Tubbo diddnt hesitate to scurry out the door and back to his room. His could feel his breath becoming hitched and his heart beating faster, this had happened before, he knew how to deal with it.

He just thought of the happy times with Tommy, and when they started lmanburg, and when his mother was still here and they would sit for hours staring at the clouds.

Breath in. Then out. Happy thoughts. In. Out. Happy. This repeated in his mind until he knew he was calm, and he just collapsed onto his bed.

There was no way he was staying here. He diddnt care about the consequences anymore. He wasnt staying here.

A/n
I'm proud of this chapter! I really liked my writing style in this :> also I'm in a tent rn basically in the middle of nowhere woo