Silhouette

Almost.

The overwhelming sensation,
sweeps me off my feet,
making me fall over
into an endless pit of my own desire.
My cravings ensured my doom
and I'm embracing it with open arms.
Welcoming the feeling
as I suddenly feel my reality fading away.
Time slows down.
It always does,
when the feeling is of gruesome pain,
when you want it to stop hurting.
When you want it all to be somehow over.
Time is cruel.
It ensures that you live though each second of it.
Experiencing the pain,
each with excruciating precision,
each aimed at the heart.
Inching deep past my skin.
My breathless heave grows louder.
I'm neck-deep in the water.
It's time for the monstrous waves to devour me.
To end this manifold misery.
Time is torturous.
As I feel myself drown.
In the brink of exhaustion.
I feel the treacherous water
enter my lungs.
I let myself lose it all.
Everything I had,
everything that held me down.
Shedding of the unwanted.
I felt lighter, like never before.
As if I had no care in the world.
For a moment, I wasn't worthless.
The peace I felt, didn't last long.
Firm hands pulling me up.
I feel spots, cloud my vision.
As the stranger rejoiced on saving another.
Yet my burning lungs were screaming
to push me back down.
Back into the daunting water.
He had no intention to let go.
Now, I almost wish he did.
Almost.
But never there.
~si