Silhouette

What if?

What if we say
that we love each other way too much,
and that becomes almost mechanical, with no meaning
but you say it for the sake of it being said?
What if after a while
we don't mean what we say now? What if all of the fears
we have now of letting go of each other
seem irrelevant because of how distant we get later on?
What if these fears of mine
turn out to be true?
And what if you are just like the others?
Staying just to let go,
saying things you don't mean.
Hurting me with an apology
which I know you didn't mean.
He lied and I listened
even when I knew the truth.
I pretend to be a fool
just so I could hear it to my face.
He didn't know, neither did he care
about the fact that you're apologizing
before walking away,
when we both know your heart
had left mine long ago.
Numb I felt, for I didn't cry.
Didn't cry for days and I don't know why.
Until someone saw my face
and casted a smile.
Then the tears flew
and they rose
like a caged bird being let free.
I didn't care to stop with the wailing
even when the day bloomed.
A morning too bright for my dimmed soul.
And then I saw you,
standing there with a fear-stricken face as you took in my tears streaked eyes.
While I cried over the ones that left,
you reminded me of the ones that stayed.
I fell apart from his words
then you fixed me with a hug.
Little did I know
that you fought my demons for me
while yours were killing you inside out.
You smiled a smile that lit up my whole being,
but little did I know it's your inability to cry when you're sad,
that you pretend you're fine.
So forgive me when I say,
I'll love you even after
my heart stops beating.
~si

You are loved ♥️