Blessing in Disguise-VA

Chapter 22

I had wanted to return home from work and go straight to bed, I was shattered, all I wanted to do was go to sleep in my warm and comfy bed. But life had other plans for me.

As I walked into Lissa's apartment I almost fell to the floor in pain, I was experiencing very bad tummy pains, luckily I grabbed hold of the door so I didn't fall and possible cause any damage to my baby. I screamed for Lissa to help me who ran to my side with Christian shortly following, she wrapped my arm around her shoulder and spoke to Christian frantically. The pain was so bad I could only see her lips moving and no sound was coming out from her lips, my vision was starting to blur and I had a feeling I was going to pass out.

"Stay with us Rose." I heard Lissa say quietly. I felt Christians arms wrap around my waist and I was lifted from my feet. Christian was carrying me bridal style to there car and I was being driven to the hospital.

Gradually the pain started to fade but it still felt horrible, I had a terrible feeling in my stomach and I prayed to God that my baby was going to be okay.

I had never been a believer in God but in this moment in time I was willing to do anything so my baby would be okay, I remember begging God that f he let my baby live I would attend church every week or donate money weekly to a charity, I just needed my baby to be okay.

The next few hours past in a blur, after being rushed into hospital I don't remember much, just the feel of my heart breaking as I knew what was coming next, I didn't believe my baby was going to live. I was rushed into a room where they preformed a ultrasound, the nurse informed me that there wasn't a heartbeat and that she was very sorry for my loss.

She left me alone in the room while she went to speak to Lissa and Christian, my baby was dead. My hands fell to my barely baby bump and tears fell down my face, it was just going to be a reminder that I had lost my baby. the one thing I had to do was keep my baby safe and I had failed, was God trying to punish me in some way, what had I possibly done wrong to deserve this?

I wrapped myself in a ball on the bed and rocked myself while I cried, I felt like a failure again. Jesses words came back to me, the night that he had told me horrible things while he was drunk.

Flashback:

Jesse stumbled in late one night from the pub, he stunk of alcohol and what I now knew was sex, he could barely walk and I doubt he would remember any of this in the morning.

"Jesse, where have you been?" He didn't say anything, he just looked at me. But that was enough, I cowered under his glare and when he started walking towards me I knew I had to run. But to where?

When he was close enough for him to grab me I tried to move but his hands whipped out and help my hair.

"I was out, its none of your business where I was." He threw me to the floor like he did the night he wouldn't let me leave. "nobody will ever love you Rose. Anything good in your life will leave, you don't deserve to be happy."

End of flashback:

At the time I believed him but when I was with Dimitri I didn't, now I'm beginning to think there true. Everything he said to me has become reality. My parents abandoned my, all my friends left, I lost my baby, I pushed Dimitri away, I was a mess.

I don't know how but I must have fallen to sleep because when I woke up a pair of familiar brown eyes were looking down on me, they carried so much worry in them that it was hard to pick out another emotion. At that moment I didn't believe it was him, how would he of known where I was? I hadn't called him like I told him I would, there was no way he could of tracked me down.

"Rose?" He asked. The tears that had fallen down my face when I was sleeping stuck to my cheeks, he extended one hand and wiped them away "Rose, I heard what happened? I'm so sorry." He sounded like he meant it so much, the worry in his tone matched the amount in his eyes.

"Rose, speak to me." I couldn't move my body, no words would come out of my mouth. It felt like I was looking down at the scene as it was happening, it felt like I was no longer inside my body. It felt like I was dead. But the saddest part was that I didn't care, I was almost happy that I didn't feel the pain of losing my baby, or the pain of the memories that would always haunt me. One that was worse than anything Jesse could do to me. The night I was kidnapped.