Don't Save Me

Chapter 17: Sharing Her

 A few days had passed and I hadn't spoken to any of my old Gryffindor friends since the confrontation in the Great Hall days ago. I was currently sitting in the courtyard with Severus. We were working on Potions homework when James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius walked toward us.

"Snivel-" James began before Remus elbowed him. I rolled my eyes and looked up.

"Severus..." James began again. "I would like to apologize for trying to kill you. I went too far and I'm sorry. I was only protecting Y/n. I thought you were hurting her and I went too far. I'm sorry," he muttered.

"I would like to apologize as well. When I thought Y/n was being hurt... I lost control and took it out on you because I thought you were the one hurting her. I am sorry," Sirius said, genuinely. Severus looked up, shocked that they had actually apologized.

"Thanks..." he said, hesitantly.

"This doesn't mean we like you. We only did this for Y/n," James said and Sirius nodded.

"Shut up. Just apologize and leave it at that. No need for other commentary," I spat. James and Sirius nodded. Remus and Peter smiled before dragging James and Sirius away.

"Sorry about them," I said to Severus.

"Never apologize for them, Y/n. Honestly, I was surprised to even get an apology out of them. Thank you for that," he said, smiling and placing his hand on my arm. I smiled and we continued working on our potions homework.

A few hours later we walked into the Great Hall and James, Sirius, Peter, Remus, and Lily came running up to me.

"Y/n! I'm so glad you guys made up," Lily beamed. "Come sit with us."

"Oh... uhm... I-," I began but Severus interrupted me.

"Go, Y/n. They're your friends too. I can share you," he said, smiling as he pulled me into a hug, before taking a seat at the Slytherin table. He began conversing with Regulus and Rodolphus and I instantly felt less guilty, knowing he had people to talk to even if I wasn't there. Lily pulled me over to the Gryffindor table and we began eating.

We talked about trivial things and, by the end of the meal, it felt as if I truly had forgiven them. We fell into old habits easily and the conversation flowed smoothly. I looked over at Severus a few times and he smiled, reassuring me I had no reason to feel guilty. I had truly missed my friends and it felt amazing to be spending time with them again. Though, I should've known that feeling wouldn't last. An owl swooped into the Great Hall and dropped an envelope into my lap. I recognized the stationary immediately. It was the same stationary my aunt used to use. It had sat in her drawer for years and it was never touched. With shaky hands, I slid my thumb under the envelope flap and tore it open. My uncle's handwriting stared up at me.

Dearest Y/n,

I felt bile rise in my throat as I read the first line. He only ever called me that when he was putting on a good show. I swallowed thickly and continued reading

I have missed you, dearly. I hope you'll join me for Spring Break this year, though I'm sure you'd be happy to come home. If not, I'll just have to spend extra time with you in the summer. I miss you and I hope you'll come home for Spring Break.

Love Always,

Uncle Seth.

The letter was carefully written, making sure that anyone who might have been reading it over my shoulder wouldn't see the malice hidden between the lines... but I knew my uncle. If I didn't come home for Spring Break, I would surely regret it when summer came. I felt my throat close up as I thought I had a few more months of peace before the torture would occur. Something must have gone wrong at work and now he wants someone to take it out on. My breathing grew heavy as the words stared up at me.

"Y/n...? Y/n!" Remus said, lightly shaking me. "Are you okay?" I snapped out of it and turned my head toward Remus.

"Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking," I laughed, swallowing the lump of fear in my throat. Remus looked down and I followed his gaze. I looked down and noticed my hand was squeezing the letter tightly, wrinkling it as my knuckles turned white. I quickly let go of the letter and returned it to its envelope, plastering on a smile.

"Sorry, it's just super cold in here," I laughed.

"Y/n... no it isn't," Sirius said, softly, placing his hand on my arm. I quickly withdrew my arm and stood up. "Sorry, I uh... I just remembered I still have potions homework to finish up. I should go." I quickly walked away from the table and out of the Great Hall, ignoring the eyes on me as I departed.

...

Spring Break rolled around and I had packed my bags, prepared to leave. Severus walked with me to the Hogwarts train, but stopped me just before I got on.

"Y/n... is everything okay? It's just that... you don't normally go home and... you acted really weird when you got the letter... I- I saw you."

"Everything's okay. I am super excited to be going home... I was just surprised when I got the letter. That's all," I said, plastering on a smile. He pulled me into a hug, resting his chin on top of my head.

"Have a good break, Y/n. I'll miss you," he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear. I held him tighter, not knowing if I would see him again... not knowing what my uncle's intentions for this trip were. I pulled away and Severus lifted my face to meet his eyes. He wiped a small tear from my eyes, a look of concern and curiosity crossing his face as his thumb brushed the tear away. I smiled and pulled away before boarding the train. I found an empty compartment, closed the door and rested my head against the window. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I finally allowed the fear to creep in. I looked out over the peaceful landscape, wishing I could stay here forever... wishing I didn't have to go and meet my fate, but knowing that if I didn't... people I cared about would get hurt. My eyes closed and my body fell into a peaceful sleep. The last peaceful sleep I would have for the duration of Spring Break.