Don't Save Me

Chapter 73: He Speaks

The end of the year quickly approached. Severus and I still hadn't spoken and he sent glares my way whenever he saw me with Sirius. My relationship with Sirius had grown stronger and I knew I really loved him. While I still had strange feelings for Severus that I couldn't quite place, I was happy with Sirius. The Malfoys had written to me to see if I was coming to visit them during holiday breaks, but I told them I was busy. I couldn't get Severus's words out of my head as he told me not to trust Tom and to stay away from the Malfoys. While it was killing me inside not to see them, I know Severus and the way he thinks. I know he cares about me and wants to protect me. To be completely honest, I think that's why he's pushing me away now. I can only hope that he will talk to me when he is ready.

The time had come for my friends to board the train. Sirius was the last of our friend group to board, holding me tightly until the last second.

"It seems weird that I won't be here next year... with you," he said, softly.

"I know... It seems weird... I'll miss you, love."

"I'll miss you too, pup, but I promise to visit Professor Mcgonagal's house during breaks as often as I can."

"Sounds lovely," I replied, giving him a small smile. He pulled me into a hug, giving me one final kiss before boarding the train. I turned around to walk back toward Minerva but, as I turned around, I bumped into a solid form. I felt his hands grab my waist, steadying me.

"Woah, there, little one. Be careful. Wouldn't want you breaking that gorgeous little body," a smooth voice whispered in my ear. My breath hitched as his hands held my waist firmly. It took everything in me not to bury my face in his chest and tell him how much I had missed him. 

"Don't do that," I said, trying to sound stronger than I was.

"Do what, little one?" he replied, his lips just inches from my ear. I quickly pulled away.

"That! Don't call me pet names like that and whisper in my ear! You haven't talked to me all year and then you do this!?" I hissed, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Darling, please..."

"Don't 'darling' me! You ignored me for a year, Severus! You made me feel like I did something wrong!" I was growing angry but I refused to let him see the warm tears that were forming behind my eyes. 

"You didn't, sweetheart... I did," he whispered. My heart fluttered slightly as he called me sweetheart but I couldn't give in to him. I couldn't let him confuse me any more than I already was. There was a sadness in his eyes that I hadn't seen before. I had seen him upset but never like this. I had never seen this sense of longing in his eyes before... the sense that he was losing everything. The sense that everything was crumbling around him. I knew that look all too well for it was one I had seen in the mirror so many times before. 

"What are you talking about?" I asked, a mix of emotions washing over me. I wanted to be angry with him but the look in his eyes filled me with such sorrow.

"Nothing, just... stay safe, yeah?" he replied, no longer meeting my eyes. He lifted a hand to my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Of course... you too," I answered. His eyes locked with mine for a brief moment and something flickered in my mind. It was as if he had opened his mind to me for a brief moment and I saw him sitting around a table, though I couldn't see who else was there. He looked at me curiously as if he hadn't even realized he had opened his mind to me.

"No matter what happens, Y/n... I want you to know that everything I've ever done... and will ever do... has been and always will be... to keep you safe."

"Sev... you're scaring me."

"You have nothing to fear, darling. I won't let anyone hurt you. Just... stay far away from the Malfoys. I-it's not their fault, but... it just isn't safe." He left without another word, boarding the train, leaving me with a million questions and a strange, fluttery feeling in my stomach.

End of Book One