Serenity

Chapter 78: It's a Wonderful Lie

//TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF HARM\\
Jo's POV
2 years ago...

There he is.

The boy I told myself I would never see again. The hair, the eyes, the body, the mind. I see him, across the way trying to kill the person I currently need to survive.

My options are slim, and if I don't get this man to safety I'm gonna die. Not that I haven't welcomed the idea of death before but this time I rather it not come at the hands of the person I love.

I don't know how this happens, but it's like a magnet attracts us on this day and day only. This is the second year in a row that I've seen him on this day.

The day we lost everything.

I keep my gun drawn between the bushes, where no one can see me but I can see them. I know I shouldn't have left and I know I shouldn't be doing anything on this day but I can't help the fact that time moves even when I don't.

I'm continuously feeling like I'm stuck in the same place, unmoving and lost in a universe I once knew my place in. A universe where I could do something and feel no remorse; or just feel nothing in general.

They bring him down on his knees and I can already see Hero getting agitated. This man knows his rules. Don't speak and they'll shoot. Die with information rather than dying with your secrets out.

I have a weight in my chest now.

I'm fully aware of what I have to do in order to get what I want and this is gonna be the second worst decision in my life happening on the same day. So slowly, I aim at his leg and pull the trigger.

I quickly retreat into the bush as Hero falls to his knees. I hear his men searching for where the bullet came from and I can't lie about the fact that my heart is beating because I'm nervous they'll find me.

"This is what happens when you cross the wrong person Hero," I hear the man say as he takes off his bindings. "We'll see you on the other side," he says before running away.

This is a close one.

Way too close.

An hour later...

  I'm sitting in a diner that I've come to know quite well. Joanne is the sweetest lady I've ever met, and it's even better she doesn't ask questions. I think the mob used to stay here, that's why she's like this.

  I'm sitting with the man, James, and he's eating a plate of eggs and bacon. "You do know you can't pull that shit again," I say and he looks at me confused, then nodding.

  "It was fun, and thrilling," he says to me and I roll my eyes. "And I'm not scared of dying," he tells me and I laugh.

  "I'm not scared of dying either, I just don't want to die at the hands of someone else. That means if you die, I die asshole. So try to stay alive for the next 30 hours." I say and he nods, understanding.

  "That doesn't mean it was her Hero!" I hear someone from the very front of the diner. Morgan... it was Morgan.

  "It was a perfect shot!" Hero yells and I quickly look to where I shot him. Stuffed with cotton for now. It's nothing fatal, that's why he can stuff it and be fine.

  "Ms. Langford... you and him need to leave. Tranquility is here," Joanne says and I move my gaze to her, nodding. We make it out the back and Anthony brings us back to the house, where I go into my room.

  I look at the razor on my dresser and tears slip down my cheeks. This isn't what I was expecting but like clockwork I roll my sleeves up and look at the scars that are already present.

  I pick up the razor and put it to my wrist. I just want to die already. Why can't I die already? I feel my skin break open and the blood flow out. First it's slow, but it happens more quickly as I cut more.

I should've cut vertically, it's harder to stitch those, which means I would die. Death, something I want so badly but I'm too scared to accomplish. I slowly start feeling more lightheaded and I close my eyes. It's like when you get drunk and the room starts spinning. Why is the room spinning?

"I need to get in here Langford, you're not the only one living here," James says and I take a deep breath, going to the door and opening it. I suddenly become extremely aware that there is blood covering a lot of the bathroom. "Holy shit," he says and immediately grabs a towel, holding it to my wrist.

"Tell anyone and I'll kill you James," I say and he looks at me, applying more pressure.

"That's your concern right now?" He asks a bit frantically as he rushes us out of the bathroom and into the kitchen.

"I'm serious, tell anyone and you're dead," I say and he shakes his head.

"You really do have a death wish, don't you?" He asks me and I can't help but chuckle.

"I told you I don't want to die at the hands of others, that doesn't mean myself," I say and he sighs and everything gets blurry.

Two weeks later...
Hero's POV

I don't know how I ended up here. Looking for her medical files.

  Then they said they needed the file because she came in, so I told them I was her husband. Why the fuck would I say that after all of this fucking time.

  "Mr. Langford, she's awake," one of the nurses tells me and I take a deep breath. I can't tell if that's a good or bad thing right now. Hopefully she'll be too high to realize it's me.

  As I walk down the hallway, I come up with a plan. Talk to her for a little bit, leave and pretend it never happened. My limo is getting worse and I have a feeling the wound is getting infected. Great.

  I push the door open and she lays there. My mind spinning from what happened a little over a year ago. Wow... it's already been a year. Only recently did I stop drowning myself in alcohol to numb the pain since the pain was suddenly fleeting. But I guess it's back now.

  "Why are you here?" She rasps out a bit and I limp over to her. "I guess I hit your knee pretty good," she says and I remember when this used to be a good thing. How I sat behind her and braided her hair. Simpler times back then.

  "You tried killing yourself," I say, a statement, since they told me what happened. Since I'm her husband, apparently.

  "Apparently I can't die. Maybe that means I am god, or just uncharacteristically invincible," she says and leans back into the pillow more, closing her eyes.

  "You don't believe in god," I say and a small smile comes on her face.

"Go home Hero... I'm alive and so are you. That's the most we can ask for. And I won't remember this when I wake up next, so it's probably for the best," she says and I nod. I go over to the door and go to open it, but I don't know what's stopping me.

"I love you Jo, and I hate what I've become," I say and she opens her eyes a bit, but not much.

"I feel the same way," is all she says before slipping into a deep sleep and I slip out of the hospital. Vowing to never see her again.