Serenity

Chapter 93: Shadows in the Glass

Hero's POV

"You want me to kill my father?!"

Oh boy, here we go.

"Are you fucking insane?" She continues to yell at me as I watch. She asked what she could do, all I did was give her an answer. "After all this time I've spent protecting him from you, you want me to just outright murder him?" She asks loudly and the headache I lost is starting to return.

  "You asked," is all I can muster to say and she pauses, as if that's not the answer she was expecting to hear.

  "That's asking a lot, Hero," she says to me in a softer tone and I nod. I know exactly what it's asking. I'm just hoping she can look past her family ties and just see me, see what I'm asking, see how beneficial it'll be.

  "I understand the weight of what I'm asking, but hasn't that always been the final goal Jo? For him to be gone and for us to be together?" She looks as if she's contemplating what I'm asking, maybe I'm getting to her after all of these years.

  "It's not that simple," she says under her breath and I smile, shaking my head. The smile is because I'm getting through to her, but I shake my head because I disagree with her statement.

  "But it is Jo, it's that simple. Once he's out of the way we'll be able to love each other unconditionally with nothing standing in our way." She doesn't seem convinced with my proclamation of love.

  "I need to think about this Hero, this isn't black and white anymore. If you asked me a few years ago maybe I would've done it, but now? After everything I've been through, after everything I've done? It's not as simple and black and white as you want it to be," she states and I nod. She comes closer to me, taking my hand. "But I will think about it," she says as a final statement.

  The little squeeze she's giving my hand convinces me a little bit. It's like she's not seeing the bigger picture, she's seeing smaller pictures that will make the big one. "Don't take too long," I say with a small smile and she nods, backing away and leaving the room. The silence of this room reminds me of solitary confinement.

And people there have nothing to lose.

Jo's POV

I leave Hero's room with a lot more to think about than when I entered it. Am I seriously considering killing my own father? There's no way I could do that. Yeah he had me drugged as a child, yeah he was astronomically bad at being a father, yeah he literally tried to kill me, but I can't help loving him.

This unconditional love only parents and their children feel towards each other is something I can't explain. His bad decisions will lead to his demise, I just don't want to be the reason he dies. After all, I am his only child and I probably was an accident, so does that excuse the bad parenting? Obviously not but I'm sure in his mind it does.

I go into my office and sit at my desk once again, this time turning the monitor on and looking at the live feed of my father. He just sits in room after room, patiently waiting for me to give him up or set him free. I wish things were that simple.

Killing him isn't simple either, it's actually the most complicated outcome of this. This isn't just about land anymore, it's people, money, trade routes and territory overseas. Why doesn't Hero get that?

I have to say, him saying how we could love each other without anything in the way did have me almost kill my father right then and there. It's all I've wanted all this time. Hero wanted land, I wanted him.

When I snap back into focus I realize my father is staring back at the camera, like he's staring into my soul. I turn the monitor off, freaked out by the feeling. Before I realize what I'm doing, I'm making my way to the room Felix is in. Somehow he will be the voice of reason in this, right?

"So what the fuck Jo," is the first thing he says to me when I open the door. I cross my arms and lean in the door frame. "When you get drugged you get a nice hospital bed and proper medication and all that bullshit. When we get drugged you shove us in rooms and don't let us leave, like what the fuck!" He says and I watch his tirade unfold.

"You just went through withdrawal on a ten thousand dollar mattress, and I have some great doctors on my staff. Quit complaining," I say with a small laugh and he stares down at the mattress. "What? I don't cheap out on anything," I smile and he shakes his head as if he's resetting himself. "Hero wants me to kill my father."

"He's wanted to kill your father for years," he says and I shake my head at him.

"Yeah, he's wanted him dead for years, suddenly I'm the one who has to do it," I say and that makes him more interested.

"You have been protecting him, which is like a big fuck you to Hero," he says and I sigh. "Maybe he feels like you killing him would be the ultimate way to show where your priorities lie."

"If a shit ton of people were trying to capture and probably kill your father wouldn't you protect him?" I ask and he laughs at me.

"If my father was Salvatore Langford I'd leave him to the wolves," I roll my eyes causing him to laugh more. "You can't help that you're a good person Jo, that's why you protect him. You have this... need to protect what you can when you can. It's one of the reasons you left, you were protecting yourself."

  I scan the front room for the two of them, and then the booth area, where I find Hero stirring a coffee slowly and Felix stuffing pancakes into his mouth. I make my way over to them and take a deep breath. "Which one of you wants to make room for me?" I ask and get very shocked looks from the both of them, which is especially amusing when you see the pancake hanging out of Felix's mouth.

"Well on to it then, why did you leave?" He asks me impatiently again and I feel myself getting shaky. It's the first time in months that I'm nervous, it's a weird feeling and I want it to go away. God I sound like a child but that doesn't matter right now.

"Because to love you I had to love myself first," I say and he just blinks at me. Like it wasn't enough. Maybe it wasn't enough, maybe I'm not enough. Or maybe I'm just over thinking the entire thing.

Oh god I was.

  I stare at Felix a bit before looking over at the wall. "I love him Felix, but I don't know if I can do this," I say softly and he sighs a bit as he nods.

  "It's not simple, but in Hero's mind it will be. You are someone who either thinks ten steps ahead or not at all. As much as you don't like it, you've changed since we kidnapped you. I just can't tell if it's for the better, and neither can he. He needs the black and white, Jo, or else the different shades of grey will blind him." His explanation is oddly beautiful and I nod at him.

  "I told Hero I'll think about it, and I promise I will. I just... I can't just shoot him without thinking," I say and he nods. I close the door, not knowing if that just helped me or hurt me.

  Obviously I need to talk to Maia and my advisors. I need to know logistics of everything, including the aftermath. I need to talk to Hero more, see where his heads at. My thoughts and emotions are everywhere right now.

But I think I'm going to kill my father.