Serenity

Chapter 84: Out of Touch

Jo's POV

"That's the thing Jo, I've run out of time."

Well what the hell does that mean.

  They've put me back into my beauty of a cell and I lay looking up at the ceiling, imaging a time where this could've been happening and I wouldn't have been so hurt. All that time ago I would have understood my position in this cell, and now it's just different.

  I want to feel the way I would've felt, I want to feel distant and fearless. Although I am fearless, distant definitely isn't the word I would use anymore. So I lay here, wanting more than I'll ever be able to get.

A few months ago...

"Jo you can't..."

I look over at Macy who is trying to convince me this is a bad idea, that doing this will get me killed. I can see her point of view, I am just actively choosing to ignore it.

"I know it's basically your job to tell me what I should and shouldn't do, but I miss him Macy," I tell her with pleading eyes.

"And I miss my brother but you don't see me going to him," she says and I roll my eyes at her.

"That's because your brother is an asshole. And don't tell me you disagree with me," I say and she sighs, knowing I'm right.

"He could kill you," she says and I laugh. That's a shitty answer.

"He could've always killed me, yet now I'm here," I say and mess with my hair, looking at the map on the computer. He's so close to me, I just want to kiss him.

"You'll jeopardize everything," she says to me and that hits a little different. I've worked to hard, I've done to much. I need this entire operation to continue or else I don't know what I'll do with myself.

"I guess you've convinced me," I say and she exhales, happy I'm listening.

Present...

  If I could I'd go back to that day, maybe everything wouldn't of happened then. Or maybe everything would've happened sooner. The ceiling is a boring color, it's weird to notice something like that. I just wish I felt I had a say in something.

  I don't remember falling asleep, but I did. When I wake up I feel like I'm going through hell. The sweating is the worst part, meaning I'm in a form of withdrawal. Hangovers are the withdrawal of alcohol, but withdrawal is just the withdrawal of drugs. No fancy term for it, it just is what it is.

  Part of me wants to roll out of bed to force myself to throw up, but I don't have much strength. I don't know how much was given to me, but from the outcome I didn't think it was that much. I should be contemplating if I'm going to give them the direction of where my father could possible be, but that would be dumb. Why should I basically give myself away to become the leader of a falling empire.

  I'm the heir to his shitty thrown, and I'm the only one who knows how to run his operation properly. I know the ins and outs of everything. Even in his will it says I get literally everything he owns. Unless he's changed it. Part of me hopes he did.

If they kill him they'll be after me next.

  I find the strength to roll onto my side, looking at the bars that have been taunting me. My freedom is out there, but for now I'm just a prisoner. I notice someone sitting in the floor, messing with their hair like they're stressed.

  "You should be sleeping," the voice says softly and I immediately recognize it as Hero's. He moves closer to the bars so I can see his face better. A tear falls down my face.

  "Why are you out of time?" It's the only thing I can say to him. It's the only thing I need to know. He might not understand the inner workings of my father, but I do. I don't even know if my grandfather knows them.

  "I made an agreement with your grandfather, I told him I'd have the information out in four months, and in a few days it'll be four months." He looks down at his hands, playing with the skin on them. "I'm begging you Jo, I don't know what he's gonna do to me. To everything I've built. Please just tell me where he is," he begs me and I close my eyes again, another tear falling.

  "If you kill him, you'd have to go after me," I say and he looks up like he's never thought of that before, like it's a completely foreign concept.

  "What do you mean?" He asks, holding onto the bars so I can talk lower and he would still hear me.

  "I inherit everything my father has. The land, the people, the thrown if you will," I cough a little bit a wince at the feeling. "When he dies eventually, I get everything even if I don't want it. He gave it all to me," I say and shake my head softly. "If you kill him, you'd have to kill me to get what you want. It's why my dad was always looking for me when you had me, because he knew that if both of us were dead you'd be able to easily take over."

  He looks at me like this information is rocket science. I watch as the room starts to spin around me. I hate being this dizzy, I don't even remember getting to the bathroom to throw up. That's when I feel Hero holding me up. "Let it all out, it's not good in your system," he says softly, holding my hair back.

I'm surprised he's doing this, I'm surprised he's helping me. I mean what reason does he have to do anything for me? It just doesn't make sense. All of it just doesn't make any sense anymore. I throw up some more and feel the tiredness in my eyes. "I can't tell you where he is because I don't know, he can be anywhere in the world right now. I have..." I cough a bit before I continue, "I have safe houses all over the world. Ones I made sure you, or my father, could never find," I explain rub my eyes a bit.

"They're moving him constantly?" He asks and I nod my head. Stupid question coming from him. I feel unwilling tears slip down my face as he thinks everything over. "Where can I start?" He asks and I look down, shaking my head softly.

"I have Macy..." I mumble but it came out totally wrong. It sounds like she's a hostage, but she willingly came with me. "She was by my side through a lot of what happened," I say softly.

"Felix's sister?" He asks and I nod again. "That makes a lot more sense," he mumbles and starts taking me back to my bed. I'm laying down and a lone tear falls down my face as he kisses my head. "I'll try to make this better for you, but I can't promise anything. I don't know what we've become, but I hope with time we can fix it." He says softly before leaving the cell.

I'm back to staring at the ceiling and now I'm just sad. I'm sad for what my life has become, but I'm also sad for what my life could've been. Years ago I was a firecracker, ready to take on anything. Now, I'm beaten down, fragile, and completely and utterly in love with someone I shouldn't be.

And everyone knows it.