Serenity

Chapter 51: Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

*TRIGGER WARNING FOR ALCOHOL AND DRUG ABUSE*
Hero's POV

Life has no meaning without her.

I try slamming the door to my house when both Morgan and Felix stop the door and close it more calmly. I search the kitchen for something anything to just stop the pain.

I want it to stop.

"Hero," Morgan says and stand on the other side of a island. I'm searching in the cabinets when I find it. I threw out all the alcohol when Jo came around. I didn't feel like I needed to numb anything. And now I want to numb the pain.

"God Damn it, Hero!" Felix tells and I stand up from my crouched position. There's a smile on my face, a creepy one I can tell. I place the bottle of whiskey on the counter and look up at them.

  "What?! What are you gonna do about it?! She's gone! She's fucking gone Felix! There's no getting her back!" I say and unscrew the top of the bottle before bringing it to my lips, letting the liquid burn the back of my throat.

"She... she can't be," he mummers and I put the bottle down.

  "She is, I held her dead- her dead body," I say and before the tears can fill my eyes I take another long sip of the whiskey.

  "She wouldn't want you to drink yourself to death, she would want you to-" Felix start and I drop the bottle, not even caring as it shatters on the counter and go over to him. Anger is fueling my veins, anger is controlling all of my actions.

Maybe the whiskey is a little bit too.

  I grab Felix's shirt and slam him against the wall. He doesn't flinch, he just lets me. "You think this is drinking myself to death?" I laugh bitterly and get closer to his face, while he just sighs. "Because this is only the beginning," I say and let him go.

  He fixes his shirt and I go to my basement. There's a ton of alcohol down there, or there should be. I got rid of most of it when Jo said she didn't like my drinking. Guess that wasn't a good idea in the long run.

  She was my everything. She was my first love, the only person I've cared about since day one. Even when I wanted to kill her I didn't. I couldn't. She was fearless and was never scared of me. Fuck, I love her.

And now she's gone.

  "Hero, you can't just keep this up," Morgan says more hesitantly, not wanting me to pin him to a wall.

  "Yes I can actually," I say and grab a bottle of wine. Not my first drink of choice, but the closest to me currently. I look around for something to open it and find a knife on a counter top. I pry the cork out of the bottle and smile when it pops open. "Bingo," is all I say before drinking it.

  I hate the bitter taste of wine. Just like I hate Jo's fucking father. I want to kill him, and I've never wanted to kill anyone more in my life. I know I've said this millions of other times but he murdered his own daughter.

  I finally stop drinking the wine when it hits half way and I take a deep breath. This only prompts both Morgan and Felix to look at me. I must have a murderous look in my eyes if they're backing away.

  "Dude, what's going on inside your head?" Morgan asks and I sip the wine again before looking at him.

  "Oh, you don't wanna know," I say and Felix looks at me. It's like he can't tell if I'm having an episode or not, and honestly I can't tell either. Maybe I am, but I'd honestly rather drink myself to the grave then give a damn right now.

  "I think I do," Morgan says and I glare before nodding and answering.

  "I'm thinking of all the terrible, painful, torturous ways I can kill Salvatore Langford," I say and Morgans eyes widen slightly.

"You're gonna actually murder him this time? I know that you said you wanted too, but Hero. This is more then just killing someone for vengeance. This is taking over an entire empire," Morgan tells me, trying to reason with me.

The liquor is clearly clouding my judgement, but I don't mind right now. I finish off what's left in the bottle. I toss it into the garbage can and hear it shatter. Felix closes his eyes and Morgan just shakes his head. "So, I'll take over the entire empire," I say and go to walk back upstairs.

"She would never forgive you Hero." Felix says and I turn around.

"What did you say?" I ask, the liquor fueling me with anger and hatred and courage. I guess it really is liquid courage.

"You can kill her father, but she wouldn't forgive you for it. She might hate him, but it's still her father." He tells me and I shake my head.

"No, no you don't know her!" I yell in his face and he gives me a sad smile.

"But I know people like her, and that's what matters Hero. People like her are all the same when it comes to stuff like that. Not to mention the group of people that are going to be after you. They won't listen. They'll see a monster," Felix keeps telling me, edging me on.

"So let them see a monster, I don't care!" I say and my hands start shaking. The tears finally break free, the ones I've been holding back. I stumble back slightly from the sudden on set emotions and I sit on the stairs. "She's really gone..." I say softly and Morgan comes closer.

"You need to sleep Hero, and cry. Honestly, you need to just cry it out," Morgan tells me and I look up at him with tear filled eyes.

  I nod a bit, standing up and walking up the stairs. I look at her old room and take a deep breath before walking into my own. I don't have the the energy to move her things right now so I just lay on my bed.

  My body craves her, my bones ache without her. I wrap my arms around myself and let the tears flow, which makes it practically impossible for me to fall asleep.

That's when I get an idea.

  Fuck, it's a bad idea, and I can already hear Jo's voice ringing in my head telling me that it's a bad idea. But I don't know how to cope. I've never had too. I never cared about someone so much where it got to this point.

  I get off the bed and walk over to my dresser. It's the not the first time I've done this, I just haven't done it in a long time. It was good that I didn't, because I don't remember those years. I take the hidden bag out of the drawer and take one of the pills out. I pull my credit card out and start crushing it on the top of the dresser.

  I hate myself, I shouldn't of let her go. I should've made her stay home and none of this would've happened. I divide the now crushed up pill and pull a dollar out. I roll it up and bring it to the pill. I snort the line up and close my eyes.

  "Fuckkkk," I groan out and quickly do the other two lines I made so I can feel the adrenaline pumping in through my veins. It feels amazing for about five minutes before I'm craving the feeling again.

  Even though I know I have more, I drag my feel to my bed and lay myself down. I'm already seeing things, both things I want to see and don't want to see.

  I lay my head back on the pillow and watch the ceiling fan dance across my ceiling.

I'm completely fucked.

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Authors Note!🖤

Hi! Welcome to Serenity!

I'm writing this before Tranquility even ends lol
Tranquility and Serenity are synonyms lmao

I'm pre writing this on November 12, 2020! Sadly idk when this is going to come out so yeah!

Hope you enjoyed!
See you in the next one!