My Not So Perfect Mate (boyxboy)

Chapter 24

While he was screaming at me, all my attention seems to have zeroed on his lips. They looked really soft and plumb and all I wanted to do was to bite them.

And then it was like I was hypnotised, my legs moved on their own accord and just like that I was in Sam's space, the close proximity simply adding fuel to the fire burning inside me, the want, no, the need to claim my mate, to kiss him and scent him, removing the very essence of someone else's scent on him and to cover him with my own.

Sam whose face had turned red with all the yelling and screaming, he had been doing so far, was clearly affected by the proximity, as he was now looking deep into my eyes, clearly privy of what was going in my mind, both our breaths were becoming shallow.

I won't lie and say that it was my wolf's doing because, in the midst of all this confusion and turmoil, I did have a moment of clarity, my breath being knocked out of my chest when I realised that I indeed wanted to kiss this man standing in front of me, wanted to feel his lips on mine, will they be as soft as they look, will Sam be a soft patient kisser or an aggressive one. To be honest, I did not care, I just wanted, no needed to kiss him.

It was like I am in the middle of the desert and he was an oasis of water, pulling me towards him.

I leaned forward and just like that my lips were on his. It was just a simple gesture of my lips innocently touching his but the thought that ran rampant inside my brain at that moment was anything but innocent. Despite those lustful thoughts, what took precedence in my mind was this feeling that I had never felt before, I won't say that I am very experienced in this department, however, I have indeed kissed a few girls but the emotions that this simple touch brought with itself was something no words could describe, it was just out worldly.

It felt as if I was having an out of body experience, was this because it was a boy I was kissing or was it because it was Sam or was it just because I was kissing my mate and we wolves have been programmed to love anything that we did with our mate, each feeling was magnified tenfolds. Was that it?

All these emotions, the electrifying feelings are me responding to my mate, does that mean that my true feeling holds no place in my heart anymore, my real thoughts and emotions are camouflaged, because of the mate effect.

Yes, that should be it, otherwise, why would I be currently kissing a man who I had sworn to be my rival, a thorn in my side since I was merely a child.

Was the effect really so great that it had washed off all the hurt that I had felt all those years ago, from being cast away by my best friend in my most vulnerable condition? Can it really wash away that feeling of abandonment, the great despair, I had felt then?

With that thought in mind, I pulled away from the kiss. Sam chased after my lips as if he just could not get enough and right now I could totally relate to that level of desire, but all these nasty thoughts filling my brain at the same time, were taking over the desperation and want that I had felt mere seconds ago, the want to touch and kiss my mate or simply be close to him.

I just could not grasp the thought of my right to choose, to consent, taken away from me yet again. I won't let this happen, even it is something which the glorious moon goddess decided for me, this just can't be right. Sam can't be right for me. He has only ever bought pain and embarrassment to me, never caring about my feelings and treating me like someone beneath him. He may have started to change his attitude towards me a bit but is that sufficient for me to forget everything and accept him as a mate, I highly doubt that.

I acknowledged the fact that my brain at the moment was filled with conflicting thoughts, what with me trying to kiss him one moment and pushing him away, the other. I am giving myself whiplash.

I had always been very excited to find my mate but right now it all feels like a scam, a massive joke that the moon goddess is playing on me. Finding my mate, no longer seemed to be a gift but a curse that I will have to spend my whole life living.

While these thoughts were circulating inside my brain, I didn't even notice when Sam moved forward with all the intention in the world to return my kiss with one of his own, after all, he is also trapped in this mate facade as much as I am, as that could only be the believable explanation, as to why he was dying to kiss me, the guy he hates the most in this entire pack.

As soon as his lips once again touched mine, it was like a burst of firecrackers beneath my eyelids. It seriously felt like heaven. One of his hands found a place in my hair and the other around my waist.

He was kissing me with great vigour as if it was supposed to be our last kiss. My hands were now clasped around his neck, trying to pull him as close to me as possible. His hands around my waist tightened, making me gasp, giving him the perfect opportunity to invade my mouth with his tongue.

Both of us were completely oblivious to our surroundings, our sole focus being the other.

However, in the heat of the moment, Sam pulled at my hair roughly and that was enough to throw me into a flashback of memories, belonging to a time I never want to recollect, that made my soul shudder. This is not good, this is not right. This should not be happening.

I pulled away instantly, turning my back towards him as I was so not ready to face him right now. I knew that Sam had nothing to do with what happened to me in the past, didn't even have a clue about the nightmares that I had to live through as a ten-year-old but right now everything that was happening between us was just making me feel helpless and powerless, to my own desires, my own biology. And I was ready to do anything to get rid of this nasty feeling.

 It took all my willpower to take a step away from him, to put some distance between us. My wolf snarled in my head, very angry to leave the close proximity of his mate. My heart felt like it has been pierced again and again until it was shredded to pieces but I had to do it. I can't give in to these false feelings, they are not really my own, it was just the mate effect, I kept repeating it in my head again and again.

" You should leave, we are done here", I whispered, my voice all choked up.

" What the fuck, are you for real right now. One moment you are kissing me and the other, you are behaving like I am nothing more than the dust beneath your shoes. Is this how you have been planning to treat your mate all along or do I get special treatment for being a man or for just simply being me. You know what, we really are done here. Don't bother telling anyone that we are mates. You don't want this, right, fucking fine, I will be a dear and help you get rid of me, myself. Happy now?", shouted Sam, he had been closing on me with each of his sentences and now we were standing, almost nose to nose.

With that being said, he turned and started walking towards the stairs, most probably planning to go to his room in the packhouse.

But then he turned and said, " But before I get this thing sorted, don't you dare go canoodling with others because believe me I will know and it will make my wolf go crazy and believe me you don't want that to happen so you better stay celibate for the time it takes me to help you free your self from your awesome mate", and with that, he started climbing the stairs.

I felt a pain in my chest which seem to exemplify with each stair he climbed. Sam was hit by it too if his gasp and cursing was anything to go by.

" Son of a bitch, why is this happening to me", he whined but then cleared his throat and in a more settled voice said,  " Are you going to follow me or what?".

I don't know why but that just made me laugh and without another thought, I started walking towards him.

Author's note - I know it has been long since I posted but my job has been keeping me busy. This is a short chapter but I wanted to post something today so I did. Hope you enjoy it.

The song above is " Let me down slowly" by Alec Benjamin. It's a great song and somewhat goes with the situation here.

So, what do you think is going to be their next step? Try getting rid of the bond, deciding on keeping it a secret forever or something totally unexpected.