Dark Passions

46.

Meredith hurried into the study, patting her skirt down, and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Kate...forgive me..." she said breathlessly, holding out her hands to Kate. She brushed a quick kiss over her cheek. "I completely forgot that you were coming by this morning..."

Kate grinned and hugged Meredith. "I should have known I would have to wait," she teased her sister-in-law. "Rose was all giggles when she explained that you would be, ahem...delayed..." Kate arched her eyebrows in amusement.

Meredith flushed guiltily. "Your brother..."

"...is incorrigible, I know..."

They linked arms and moved towards the small dining room, where their late breakfast had been laid out. "Derek is persuasive," Meredith agreed, with a little smile. She lowered her voice and whispered to Kate. "But I have to admit, I'm just as much at fault..."

"Why, Meredith Shepherd!" Kate laughed. "How unladylike...!"

Meredith shrugged, unrepentant. "Come now, Kate, this is between us women. I love Derek, and I love every intimate moment with him. I truly never believed to be so caught up in a love like this."

They sat down at the table, as the maids scurried to pour tea and to make sure that all the dishes were uncovered, before bowing and leaving them alone. "Is Derek joining us?" Kate asked, looking around.

"No, he thought he would skip out on the women's gossip," Meredith replied, rolling her eyes. "I believe he is in the nursery with Michael. But he will see you before you leave, I'm sure."

"Good, and he can bring that precious baby of yours to see me too. How is my favorite nephew?"

"Spoiled, I'm sure, by his father. But he's such a happy baby - I'm so fortunate, Kate. And I look at him sometimes, and wonder at the perfection of him..." Meredith smiled indulgently. "But, enough of my new mother ramblings, how are things with you?"

"Well, speaking of love and desire between men and women..." Kate murmured, buttering her biscuit.

"Oh, yes, do tell. Has Alex been to see you?"

Kate blushed a little. "Yes, he has. Even Mother didn't intimidate him, so that's a point in his favor. She liked him, Meredith." Kate paused. "I just feel like a silly girl sometimes, thinking of him. He reminds me so much of William. His eyes, his mannerisms, his laugh. It's almost uncanny."

"He seems very nice. He has a child, does he not?"

"Yes, a daughter, Marianna. Her mother died in childbirth."

"How sad..."

Kate nodded. "I just don't know if I'm ready for this, Meredith...my feelings are all confused."

Meredith reached across the table and squeezed Kate's hand. "You deserve to be loved again, Kate. You're too good and caring to be alone. I'm sure William would not want you to mourn forever."

"But, could you love another, if something happened to Derek?"

Meredith shivered at that thought. "Honestly, I do not know. I can't imagine that. Perhaps I'm not the one to give advice here," she commented wryly, drinking her tea thoughtfully.

"He makes me feel happy, and desired, but I feel disloyal," Kate sighed, looking out the window at the gardens. "I just don't know what to do. Mother says I should marry him, if he wishes, that my boys need a father. I know in my mind that she's right, but in my heart..."

"You will know if the time is right," Meredith said. "And if it's meant to be, it will be. Just like Derek and I. I had not thought I was looking for love, and yet, here I am." She waved her fingers, looking around the sumptuous room, still feeling like it was all a dream sometimes.