nicotine [unhealthy desires 2]

01

- Matty -

Two months now. It has been two months since I've last glanced at her blue eyes, since I've layed eyes on her face. And it was exactly sixty four days since we've layed together under the same white bed sheets on the same bed, with our skin as one, souls as one. It was the night that changed everything. Everything inside my head and it fucked me up.

Now the seventh shot of vodka, doesn't seem to fill my mind with the expected and desired void. Her face was still haunting my memory. Her plump lips that were as soft as a baby's. Her blue pastel hair that she always played with when she was bored.

Now I realize that Seattle wasn't that good of an idea, except that the skies are always raining, reminding me of my own sad days where only tears fill my eyes. Where laughter fails to exist anywhere around me.

George was sitting next to me, trying to convince me to stop drinking but who was he, with a drink in his own hand to stop me from trying to erase my craving for the touch of her skin. It was ridiculous.

Today wasn't any different from the days I've lived through all week, or all the two months for that matter. Going down the bar the time i wake up and drinking until I think straight.

Sometimes I think I was born backwards, talking when I'm drunk and shutting up when I'm sober, the people I love, I'm supposed to hate, the people I hate, I'm supposed to love. Water would make my brain twist but the liquid of vodka makes it clearer.

Would it be possible? Or am I just hallucinating from the rolled spliff between my fingers adding up the drink in hand. Maybe. I don't know.

I'm not sure if I missed her, or just the calming presence of her around me. It seems to me that I'm not sure about anything except needing a drink. And I don't know if I should worry about this all.

HELLO YOU GUYSS!

so I've finally updated yayyy!

anyway, I liked writing this v much since it's from Matty's pov, it's kinda new so tell me what you think about that, and if you want me to write from anyone else's pov!

mainly it will be matty tho, but I don't mind changing putting george or something haha.

and since this is kind of an introduction please give me feedback and comment! I'd really appreciate it!

also I haven't announced the winners yet so there; the winners are mikeysthighs and RalucaRmboac!

ive also decided to put a song in each chapter so here ya go

Song; A Part of Me by Neck deep

I hope you liked this part!

Thank you so much for reading♡!
-sam