nicotine [unhealthy desires 2]

12

- Matty -

The moment she stepped away from me it hit me.

The events of last night hazyly cross my mind so quick I can't grasp a single one. But I know. I understand. It makes sense now, what she just said.

Last night I had so many drinks I couldn't count, Adam was some chick at the back booth and I ended up texting Leila.

The thought of change swims in my brain, making me regret every single cup filled with liquid I shoved down my throat before even thinking what it was.

I thought I was capable of change but it seems otherwise. And I end up messing it up, and she hates me now.

That's all I ever do, screw things up and piss people off. I don't think I can help it.

And I can't blame her for hating me.

I'm at a coffee shop now, sitting alone starring down at my phone, at the texts I sent her in my drunken state. How depressing.

I payed and stepped out, I have to find her. I have to do something.

I decide to call Adam first to see what he's up to,

"Matty?" he says into the phone

"Hey mate, what's up?"

"Hungover as fuck, I just woke up." [a/n:omg that rhymed lol ok carry on] he coughed, "How about you?"

"I met Leila, and she's pissed off as usual, apparently I sent her texts last night that I wasn't aware of when I saw her." I told him,

"Fuck, you saw Leila? When and how?" he asked curiously

"I'll tell you later man, I've got to go."

"Alright, good luck." I really needed luck. Even more than luck.

I was at a record store now, walking down the aisles, my eyes wandering over the shelves, looking for that one. Then I found it. It was right there between the 'N's'. I picked it out and payed at the cashier counter and stepped out.

Next thing I knew I was at a book shop, I've always liked reading poems and stories by miserable people who I could relate to. I bought some book I thought was interesting and went out.

Also, I collected something from my apartment and hastily went back to the busy streets of Seattle, it was noon, and the city was quite busy.

I had to find her. I must find her.

asjxndkc ok this wasn't good enough and kinda short I know but it's 5:08am and I was bored and thought about updating.

how's yo lives?

song: my heart explodes by bowling for soup

the last couple of days ive been addicted to bowling for soup, theyre fucking awesome tbh.

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annndddd twitter: sadplathh

thank you all babes for readingg!

all the lovee
-sam