IN LOVE WITH YOU [SLOW UPDATES]

23

~PHI~

I walked down the street after loosing another game of baseball. Tamara, the Japanese boy, took away my gloves and bat, a part of a silly rule we had in our area- the losing captain gives it up all. I tapped on my fingers one by one, counting the number of bats he must have collected at his home after winning all the matches. Over ten. He must be so rich. I wish I could win all the matches like him.

Little beads of raindrops touched my palms, and I looked up at the sky. There was nothing beyond the dark clouds. Mother would punish me if I get back home dripping wet from head to toe. I jogged down the narrow lane on the right, the shortcut once Dani had shown me, which seemed to get narrower as I reached the end. The next turn, under the broken streetlight, I saw something which I couldn't understand at the moment. A girl struggling under the weight of a heavy man. He had pinned her down with his long fingers wrapped around her neck. The girl was young, maybe in her 20s, and was bleeding. She looked at me with horror-stricken eyes, which could pop out of the eye sockets any instant. She whimpered as she stretched out her hands towards me, pleading for help. My mouth turned dry as a desert. I stepped forward, a timid step, full of uncertainty. But my legs froze as soon as the man turned around. He casually walked up to me, as I pushed my back on the wall with all force, wanting to get away, anywhere beyond this place.

The man pulled me by the collar of my jersey and looked down at me. His asymmetrical eyes savoured the fear in mine as he raised his long shiny knife. "Say a word to anyone, and I'll make sure to pierce this inside your sweet little neck," he said in a hoarse voice.

I ran with the last ounce of strength I had in me as he let go of my collar. Water splashed up my leg as my shoes pounded on the ground. My calves burned, my heart was ready to explode. Beads of sweat trickled down my temples as I ran through the narrow street, panting in the drizzle. I could feel him behind me, but he wasn't. He must be under the broken streetlight, torturing the girl I had left there to die.

*

My eyelids weighed down as if someone had placed rocks over them. I sensed people around me before it all went dark again. My mind was foggy, running in loops of the incident I witnessed last night and the one I saw years ago. I was tired of self-loathing myself, tired of wondering what would the person in front of me think when they come to know that I left a girl to die?

I was tired. Tired of myself.

I wanted to twist and turn on the hard bed when I woke up the next time. I tried to move, but my body wouldn't listen to my brain's commands. The bright lights stung my eyes, making me wince internally. I looked at the machines, curtains, and the surrounding people with eyes half-open. My fingers sensed warmth, a familiar warmth. I rolled my eyes to the side, tilting my head was tougher than I thought.

"Hey.. I'm here.." she whispered. I could feel her face near me. I could see in her moist eyes.

"Tell me everything from the start," the cop asked when I had gained senses, after God knows how much time. The expression of people around me changed as I narrated the incident. The cop knitted his eyebrows and nodded slightly as he jotted down my words. I shifted my gaze to Naina, who was standing in one corner in her pyjamas, clenching her jaw. Lisa whispered something in her ear, patted her shoulders and left the ward, along with the others.

"Phi.. how are you feeling now?" Naina asked, sitting wearily beside me. I looked at her closely. Her eyes looked distraught, brimming with emotions- with sentences she wanted to speak out loud and with kisses she wanted to plant on my face. Her flared nostrils and slight frown on her forehead showed the cocktail of emotions she possessed inside her right now.

"Phi.." she whispered again. Her chin twitched as she gazed at me.

"I'm okay." My words faded in the end. She took my fingers in her hand and caressed them.

"You should have called someone. Why did you..? What if Hugo never found you?"

Hugo.. that tall man who fixed my door?

I licked the brittle skin pricking out of my chapped lips, the way I always did when my mouth went dry. Naina flipped out her cell phone from the pocket.

"I need a lip balm too," she spoke over the phone.

**

Pam was sitting beside me when I woke up the next time. The underline of her eyes was pink and moist.

"I'm so happy that you are awake now..I was horrified.. I couldn't sleep a wink last night," she poured all her thoughts out in a choked voice.

"I'm better now," I said. It wasn't hard to speak or move, and my head was more clear than before. I looked around the room, but there was no one other than Pam.

"Where is everyone?"

"Gone to freshen up." She let out a loud sigh, then continued, "I hope you get healthy soon. I don't want to see you at this damned hospital."

I blinked my eyes in affirmation. Before my eyes shut for another round of sleep, I licked my lower lip and tasted something strawberry like this time. It must have been the lip balm.

For the next few days, I woke up at odd hours to find someone sitting beside me on the stool, sometimes dozing off, sometimes scrolling on their cell phone and sometimes holding my hand. Most of the time, it was Naina. She smiled at me as I opened my eyes. I received calls from home, flowers and visitors from the university and cafe almost every day. So many people would pour in sometimes and for once I was happy that I wasn't obligated to do small talks or smile like normal people would do. I could fake sleep when I didn't want to see their face or nod when I didn't feel like responding.

Low key, I felt bad for my friends for willingly joining me at the hospital. I could sense Pam's anxieties in the small ward. I could see the bored looks on other faces when they had to sit beside me throughout the night. Moreover, I could see Naina getting sucked in her emotions. Other than her eyes, she looked almost the same. But I could see it. I could see her looking at me with a gaze full of concern and love. If only she would accept it.