Not Enough (complete)

3. Feelings

A week later, their vacation came to an end and Xiao Zhan left first with his mum. While Wang Lu followed them all the way to the airport, Yibo preferred to stay back, busying himself with his phone. He had previously exchanged contacts with Xiao Zhan and promised to text often.

Their reunion didn't go the way Xiao Zhan had anticipated. He felt they would be happy to reunite and spend all their time together as they did as kids but it wasn't so. Yibo was mostly on his phone and the only time they did anything together was when they played together. Being part of a team meant Yibo was constantly chatting with his team mates so the attention given to Xiao Zhan was quite minimal.

Xiao Zhan didn't pay it too much heed, he was satisfied having his friend next to him. When they left for the airport, he remembered when Yibo had to leave back then. He insisted on following him all the way to the airport and when Yibo went past security, he wasn't allowed to go through. Only then did Xiao Zhan really feel the pain of separation. The emptiness he felt in his heart that day had accompanied him all these years. Meeting Yibo again, he still surprisingly felt empty.

"Why are you looking so sad?", his mum's voice brought his attention back to the present. "Yibo and his mum might be moving back to China. It's not certain yet but it's very much likely to be so. You should cheer up a bit". Only then did Xiao Zhan realize that whenever he had any thoughts of meeting with Yibo, his mood was uplifted.

4 months had passed since then and both boys only spoke occasionally. Xiao Zhan assumed it was the time difference. Also, Yibo's replies were usually close ended, leaving little or no room for further conversation. Xiao Zhan had started to accept the hard fact that Yibo was no longer the kid that would cling to him all day and get him into trouble. He was now a teenager with his own friend circle while he was just a person who had held on to tightly to childish memories.

Yes, they were still friends but not as close as they used to be, not as close as he wanted them to be. The word 'best friend' no longer existed between them, they had become more like childhood acquaintances.

Xiao Zhan had always made excuses for Yibo not replying his messages for hours while in fact, whenever he texted, Yibo's status always showed he was online. He just didn't read his messages. This was the exact same way he treated messages from people whom he considered 'pests'. People who tried to befriend or date him while was just wasn't interested.

Xiao Zhan felt a lump in his throat. Yibo considered him a pest. Think about it, Yibo never initiated their conversations, he took hours to reply his and his replies were usually in as few words as possible. Xiao Zhan felt the lump in his throat was too difficult to swallow.

Those people who tried to befriend him, what was the kind of response he hoped to get from them? Simple, he wanted them to leave him be, ignore him. They could talk or visit each other when absolutely necessary but he wasn't interested in going to parties or to the park with them and he definitely wasn't interested in going to concerts or having a sleep over except it was to study.

He knew what he had to do. He had to give Yibo his space or else Yibo might end up resenting him. But did that mean he had no friend? The one friend he thought he had didn't feel the same way about him? How could such a sweet little child change so much? Xiao Zhan began to feel depressed. He heard his phone beep a few times but he chose to ignore it, he wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

He was lying in his bed, back facing the door when his mother walked into his room. She called out to him softly but he didn't want her to see the tears that were welling up in his eyes so he pretended to be asleep.

"He's asleep, that's why he hasn't been responding to your messages. I'm sure he'd do so once he wakes up", he heard his mother speak to someone, probably on the phone but who could that be? Who would reach out to his mum if they couldn't reach him?

"..."

Xiao Zhan jumped up and grabbed his phone, just as he suspected, he saw a load of message notifications from Yibo. The tears forming in his eyes finally dropped and this time not from sadness but from relief.

Yibo had sent him a lot of messages, he said he was sorry for not responding properly. He heard not too long ago that his parents were getting divorced and it had been difficult to deal with. His parents fought every day, he also was somehow dragged into their fight.

He told Xiao Zhan he was moving back to China in a few months and he was told by his mum that they were going to attend school together. He was glad that he wasn't coming to start all over, he had a friend to rely on.

Xiao Zhan felt his heart swell with emotions he could not describe. 'I'm sorry, you're going through a lot'. He sent a reply to which Yibo replied almost immediately.

'Oh, you're awake, sleeping beauty'.

Xiao Zhan smiled. 'Yes, I'm awake. Don't call me sleeping beauty, it makes me feel like a delicate princess that needs to be kissed'.

'Hahaha, you should see yourself when you sleep. You indeed look like a delicate princess that should be kissed. Unfortunately, I didn't have the heart to wake you up that day, you looked too...cute'.

Xiao Zhan could feel his whole body getting warm from their conversation. Was this what he was thinking? Was Yibo flirting or was he just being a really close friend? Whatever it was, Xiao Zhan was happy to receive it. Soon, he got another message.

'Talking about kisses, do you have a girlfriend?'

"..."

Girlfriend? Xiao Zhan had met a few people who wanted to date him but he was never interested. He never had the time to think of anyone. He was busy with his studies, helping his mum at home and missing his long lost best friend.

Xiao Zhan suddenly realized, it all made sense now. The reason he preferred to be alone, the reason he wanted Yibo's attention on him, the reason he felt bad to see how Yibo communicated more with others than him, the reason he was sad thinking Yibo saw him as a pest, it was all because of this feeling in his heart, this feeling that he had no idea when it started to bloom.

Girlfriend? How could he have a girlfriend when his heart was already occupied with the thoughts of someone else?

Author's note
Are these kids...flirting? 😱