Not Enough (complete)

14. A date

"A date?"

It had been more than three months since they all met at Yibo's place. Yang Zi hadn't heard from Yibo, she didn't expect to hear from him either only for him to call and ask her on a date 3 months later.

"Yes, a date, except you're unwilling. I called because you said..."

"I know what I said Yibo but... I thought you and Xiao Zhan had something".

Xiao Zhan

Yibo had not heard from him since that day. He wanted to reach out but he felt it was best for him to allow Zhan heal. Reaching out to him was only going to complicate things further.

"No, you're mistaken, we don't have anything apart from being friends".

"And you expect me to believe that? If you got into a fight and broke up, I can understand that but saying you have nothing... I find that really hard to believe".

Yibo laughed for a bit. "Xiao Zhan is my friend, we've been friends for more than 10 years, that's all. I have wanted to reach out to you earlier but I've got my hands full. I started a new job so I've been busy. I understand if you're no longer interested but if you are, I'd like us to meet".

Yang Zi was quiet for a while. Could it be that till now, Xiao Zhan's feelings were not being reciprocated, Yibo felt nothing for him? That was impossible. She could tell Yibo liked him except... he was yet to realize his feelings. The dumbass!

"I want to meet. Not necessarily for a date, just to talk"

Well, dates included talking and Yibo was okay with that. They both fixed a time to meet at a newly opened restaurant in town, they planned to meet over the weekend.

......

After Xiao Zhan left Yibo that day, he went straight home. Even though he wiped his tears and tried to act normal, the moment he walked into the house, his mother knew he had been crying. Seeing that he intended to keep it from her, she decided to let him be.

Xiao Zhan stayed indoors for a few days after that. She could tell he was hurting but he had always tried to solve his issues himself. She wished he would open up a little more to her but knowing her son's attitude, as long as it might get her worried, there was no way he would talk about it.

Her son was all she had in this world, she knew him better than he knew himself. The few times he had cried were mostly related to Yibo. She knew her son loved his friend and from their interaction, she could tell he didn't love him back in the same way.

Xiao Zhan returns to the country, hangs out with Yibo, they spend a night together, he was all excited the next day, he goes out and returns in tears, it was quite obvious they had fallen out with each other again. She wished he would open up to her.

His room wasn't sound proof, if she wanted to eavesdrop, it was very easy to do. That day, he cried himself to sleep. For a few days after that, he cried at intervals until she couldn't take it anymore. She had to talk to him.

"ZhanZhan...", he was helping her do the dishes that night, she took the opportunity to strike up a conversation. "...since you were a kid, you've always been independent. You try to solve your problems yourself. It's not a bad thing but sometimes, it's okay to talk to your Ma".

Xiao Zhan had been extra careful. He tried not to worry his mother. He remembered growing up with her, there were many times she cried but whenever she saw him, she pretended all was fine. He knew she was only being strong. Then, he decided that no matter what, he was never going to be a burden to her. She had her challenges, raising him alone was no easy task, she didn't need any more problems, he certainly wasn't going to add to her problems.

Seeing that his actions had not gone unnoticed, Xiao Zhan felt sad, he paused what he was doing as he stared into thin air.

"ZhanZhan, I hate seeing you sad, I hate it when you cry, it hurts my heart..."

"I'm sorry ma, I didn't mean to..."

"Oh you silly boy...", she pulled him towards the sitting room. "...I'm not upset. I'm only saying you shouldn't try to solve everything on your own. You have me to share your burdens with. No matter what it is, I want you to talk to me. Now tell me, why have you been crying these past few days?"

Xiao Zhan had never discussed anything concerning relationships with his mum. How could he tell her he was crying over a man? That meant coming out as gay. He didn't know how his mother was going to feel about it.

Sensing his hesitation, she could more or less guess his worries. "ZhanZhan, I understand. You like him, you've liked him since you were kids. When your feeling turned romantic, I had no idea. I only noticed when he returned back to the country. I didn't say anything because you didn't tell me. But seeing you like this again, it really hurts me. Is there anything I can do to help?"

She knew! As expected, he couldn't keep anything from this woman. She knew and she wasn't angry. She didn't scold him for liking a boy, instead, she was worried he was hurt. His mother was really the best person in the world.

"Do you want me to talk to him? Did you both get into a fight?"

"Ma...", at this point, he couldn't hold on any longer. This feeling had been weighing him down for a long time. He wanted to talk to someone but he didn't know who. Darren had been very busy these days, they hardly spoke. Considering the time difference, Darren wasn't back yet, he hadn't found the right time to call. He simply had no one else to talk to... until now.

At this point, a feeling that felt a lot like relief washed through him. He placed his head on his mother's thighs. At first, his tears flowed out silently. Soon he began to sob lightly, then loudly. His mother stroked his hair as he cried.

"Ma... he doesn't love me back. He never did. Twice ma, twice he made me feel I had a chance only for him to tell me he feels nothing the next day. I don't know what to do ma. I've decided to give up on him but it's so painful, my chest hurts. I can't go on ma, I've been trying but with each new day, the pain starts all over again and it's worse than the previous day..."

As he poured out his heart and soul, so did he pour out his tears. Some of the words he said were incoherent, she could only hear his sobs. Seeing her son so sad, so hurt brought back those feelings from about 22 years ago when her boyfriend abandoned her upon hearing she was pregnant.

She was so hurt, she could never love again. Was her son doomed to suffer the same fate of loneliness? She only loved once, it was obvious her son was just the same, he wasn't going to love anyone else, at least not that easily.

As he cried, there really was nothing she could do. For the first time in her life, she understood what it felt to be helpless. "I'm sorry my son... I'm sorry...".

A/N

Someone is still in denial 😔
It's okay Bobo, take your time but don't hurt ZhanZhan while you're at it 😭