Not Enough (complete)

16. Let him be

"You came visiting today, what a surprise!"

One look and Yibo could tell Xiao Zhan was not home yet.

"It's been long Aunt Li. Hope you've been fine?"

Xiao Li smiled and nodded her head. Of course she had been fine except for her son who had been heartbroken recently. After the day he finally opened up to her, he talked about his feelings a lot more and she got to understand just how deeply Xiao Zhan's feelings ran. Hers was nothing compared to them. She got betrayed and never opened her heart again. Xiao Zhan opened his heart time and time again. And she was sure if Yibo gave even the slightest sign, he would be willing to give him another chance.

"I'm making dinner, do you want to wait and have some?"

Of course. Even if she didn't ask, he was going to wait anyway. Not just for dinner, he was going to wait for Xiao Zhan to return no matter how late. He had spent many nights in this house, he was now willing to spend a lot more.

After dinner, he was helping her clear the table. Seeing it was getting late and there was still no sign of Xiao Zhan, he finally summoned the courage to ask.

"Aunt Li, when will A-Zhan be returning?"

Xiao Li paused in her tracks. She stood on one spot for a few seconds. Yibo wasn't expecting this sort of reaction but he somehow felt afraid... as if something unexpected had happened all this time when he was away.

"Bo, sit down let's talk for a minute will you?"

Yibo felt his knees go weak. Never had he seen this look on Aunt Li's face. She sat on a chair beside him and started to speak.

"Like most children, Xiao Zhan was very lively as a child. He hardly made any friends but from the moment the both of you met, it felt like you've been friends from long before. For the first time, I saw my son so attached to another person. He was playful but calm but you on the other hand, you were always up to no good. Whenever he got reprimanded or yelled at, it was always something you did but he was more than happy to get into trouble with you. Do you remember that one time you asked him to climb up a tree to get you a fruit and he got caught by the owner of the tree? The old man dragged his ears all the way to the house. By the time they got here, his ears were all red but my ZhanZhan didn't cry. As soon as the man left, he took the fruit out of his pocket and gave it to you".

Yibo nodded. Xiao Zhan had always put his needs first, way longer than he could even remember.

"Bo, in my entire life, I've only seen ZhanZhan depressed 3 times. First time was when you moved away and didn't keep your promise. He never made any friends after that. He kept to himself and he was termed an introvert. I had seen him interact with you, I know he simply didn't want to make friends".

Yibo never knew his leaving affected Xiao Zhan so much. He was just a kid, how could he be so affected? It was indeed true that some people matured a lot earlier than others.

"The second time was when you got a girlfriend. Till date, he refused to tell me the details but I watched him cry his heart out only to pick up himself the next day and act like nothing happened. Out there, he might look like nothing bothers him but I'm his mother and I know when my baby is hurt".

Yibo was sitting upright but this news added a certain weight to his shoulders. Not that he didn't expect it, he just didn't know how much his actions broke the person who loved him so.

"This last one was the worst of them all Yibo. My baby cried for days, he was inconsolable. He tried to go through it by himself like he always did but it was a little too much this time around. I tried... I did my best before he opened up to let me in on what was hurting him so much", her voice trembled as she spoke, fighting back her tears.

"A-Zhan loves you Yibo, there is nothing I can do about it, there is nothing he can do about it. My fear is that if he comes here and meets you like this, he'd be happy to give you another chance, to open his heart to you all over again but... I'm afraid Bo. Do you understand? Have you ever watched the one you love so hurt and there is nothing you can do about it? If I could, I would have taken away his pain but I couldn't. He could only face it by himself".

By now, she could no longer hold back her tears, neither could Yibo. He really didn't mean to hurt him so, he was just.. stupid.

"Aunt Li, I'm sorry..."

"No, no need to be sorry. It's in the past now. My baby has finally made peace with all of this and he had found the courage to let go, to move on. As long as you don't disrupt his newly found peace, I believe he would be fine. For the sake of your many years of friendship, I need you to do me this favour. Let Xiao Zhan be, don't go after him, don't offer him your friendship anymore. I know him more than himself, he is going to mistake your friendship for something else and get his hopes high all over again. I really cannot bear to see him go through this again. Can you do that... please?"

His actions not only hurt Xiao Zhan but it ended up hurting his mother. Yibo had seen his mum cry a few times after her divorce, he really had no idea what she was going through until he spent time with his father, he felt his mother's every pain and since then, he vowed not to take things lightly with anyone who hurt his mother again but here he was, causing so much pain to someone else's mother, the same woman who happened to be the only person his mother could lean on when she had issues. He hurt her son and made her cry.

He hated himself. He regretted his actions and he wanted to promise her anything, anything to make her happy. He was sure if Xiao Zhan walked in on her crying, Xiao Zhan would flip. He didn't want to cause them any more pain but at the same time, he knew. He knew now just how much he loved Xiao Zhan, he was all he wanted. He was a fool in the past but not anymore. He wanted Xiao Zhan and not in a selfish way. It took him so many years but he had come to terms with his feelings. He loved this person and he was going to do whatever it took to right his wrongs, starting from his mother.

Yibo went on his knees in front of her and begged for forgiveness. He admitted his wrongs and promised not to hurt Xiao Zhan anymore. He loved him, so much, it just took him too long to realize it.

Xiao Li had made up her mind not to accept but she saw the sincerity in Yibo's eyes. She could tell he wasn't faring any better than Xiao Zhan. Apart from the hurt, he also had guilt to live with.

She really didn't want to see her son sad but Yibo was also like a son to her. Seeing him sad also hurt.

"Bo... you can't hurt him anymore".

"I pr...I promise Ma, I won't hurt him ag...again".

Xiao Li took a deep breath. In matters of the heart, it was better to let the parties involved settle their issues. Her natural instinct to protect her son took over her for a moment and she confronted Yibo but seeing him like this... she only hoped he would keep his promise. As for Xiao Zhan, she knew he was too in love to resist him. She'd let them work things out on their own.

"It's okay Bo, you can go home now. ZhanZhan isn't returning today, he went out of town and would be gone for about a week".