Not Enough (complete)

17. I'm sorry

Xiao Zhan's trip lasted for a week. It turned out that even though his father had abandoned them even before he was born, he had done his investigation and included Xiao Zhan in his will before he passed.

Well, his father had remarried but towards the end of his life, he found that the daughter he brought up all these years was not his biological daughter. His wife had an affair and that daughter was the result of that affair.

He remembered he had a son. Xiao Li wasn't difficult to find, Xiao Zhan wasn't either. People who saw him exclaimed, Xiao Zhan was a spitting image of his father.

Unfortunately, he passed away a few months prior. Even though he found his son, he never got the guts to show up in front of him. What was he going to say?

Before his death, he left a 14-page letter for Xiao Zhan. About 5 pages were apologizing to him, 5 more pages were asking him to apologise to his mother and the rest contained what he had to say.

He explained how scared he was to find out Xiao Li was pregnant. They were not just young, he was even younger and he panicked. By the time he realized his mistakes, Xiao Li never wanted to have anything to do with him.

He had quite a lot of money and a huge chunk of it was left to Xiao Zhan. He left something for his wife and the girl he had brought up all these years but Xiao Zhan got the Lion's share. Well, this money came at the right time, when he was trying to start his own business. If his mother was not against it, then there was no need to take a huge loan from the bank.

That day, he returned home in the evening. As he alighted from the taxi, he found a person crouched beside the door to his apartment. He stopped in his tracks. This was Yibo... but why was he out there?

Xiao Zhan recalled it wasn't time for his mother to return, there was probably no one at home but who was Yibo waiting for? It had been quite sometime, they hadn't said a word to each other. He sincerely doubted he was the reason Yibo was here, he didn't dare to assume.

Well, whatever the reason he was here, it was better to get it over with sooner than later. His journey was a little tiring, he really wanted to rest for a bit before his mum returned. He had a lot to tell her. He took a deep breath, steadied his emotions, wore a smile on his face and walked towards the entrance to his house.

Hearing the footsteps approaching, Yibo jumped to his feet. "You're back! How was your trip?"

Xiao Zhan noticed the excitement in his voice. This person... was a very weird person. Why was he sounding all excited, like he had been waiting for his arrival?

"Your mother told me you were returning today, I came here some minutes ago but there was no one so I decided to wait".

Oh so he was indeed waiting for his arrival? All the while, Xiao Zhan had said nothing.

"Come in then", Xiao Zhan opened the door, stepping aside for Yibo to go in first then he went in after him, shutting the door behind them.

"Why are you...", before he could complete the sentence, Yibo flung himself on his body, shutting him up with his lips.

"..."

Not again! There was no way he was falling for this again. The kiss lasted for just a few seconds before Yibo felt himself being pushed away.

"A-Zhan, listen to me... I missed you...", Yibo was overwhelmed by his emotions. He didn't know how to control how he felt, to put them into words so he did the only thing he knew how to. He held Xiao Zhan's face between his palms and moved to kiss him again. This time, Xiao Zhan avoided the kiss and pushed him away.

"Use your words... whatever you have to say, use your words".

Yes, words. "I... A-Zhan, look at me... I'm sorry. I was a fool, a very stupid one at that. It took me so many years to realize what you realized since our childhood. I love you Xiao Zhan, I'm totally and completely in love with you".

Xiao Zhan could not believe what he was hearing.

"Every time I kissed or touched you, I did that because I felt something for you. I just didn't realize it. I know I've wronged you, I know I've hurt you so many times but I'm here now, pouring out my heart and soul to you, asking you to give me one more chance. I won't ruin it again, I promise"

Yibo was panting as he spoke. He wasn't good with his words and he knew it, he hoped from the bottom of his heart that Xiao Zhan would believe him, would forgive him.

Xiao Zhan stood there in silence. He recalled Yibo from their childhood, he was never one to take promises seriously. He remembered the first time they kissed, and then the second time when they did a lot more than kissing. Those were not sufficient to make Yibo stay with him, Yibo still left him the very next day.

He was stupid in love, he still was but this time around, he wasn't going to fall for his lies anymore.

Of all the people he knew, Yibo was the most indecisive. He could say one thing this minute and change his mind the next. What was the use in hoping? In hoping that his words were true? If he said yes to him, he was sure that by tomorrow, Yibo would be in some corner, kissing a girl. And the possibility of that girl to be Yang Zi was unusually high.

Yibo watched as a range of emotions washed across Xiao Zhan's face. At first he was surprised as he listened to Yibo speak then he was deep in thoughts as if trying to make sense of everything he had heard.

Next his emotions displayed that of sudden realization, as if he was finally able to make sense of what was being said but before long, it changed to one of distrust. Then a smile slowly spread across his face.

"Yibo, no matter what has happened, I still consider you a friend. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. If you're finding it difficult to sort out your emotions, I can help you out. Just talk about it, don't come at me like that..."

He got it all wrong! Xiao Zhan got it all wrong. He didn't believe a word Yibo said. Yibo felt his heart drop.

"A-Zhan, listen to me. I know you don't trust me right now but please give me time... I regret all that has happened, I regret pushing you away, I regret hurting you...", he moved close to Xiao Zhan, hugged him and placed his head on his shoulder.

"I was wrong... I was totally wrong. Please forgive me. You've always liked me, give me a chance to prove that I feel the same way please... I'm sorry..."

Xiao Zhan was quiet. It took a long time for him to finally speak.

"I've heard all you said Yibo. If what you're saying is indeed true and not a 'heat of the moment' thing, then what I'm about to say hurts me even more".

Xiao Zhan could feel Yibo, whose head was still on his shoulder, tremble uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry Bo, but I've been misled too many times. I have no faith in your words. All you've said, I've heard but it's simply not enough".

Author's note

The End!!!

Hahaha, just kidding. Honestly I planned to stop here but I want to give them a happy ending so I'm going to continue, I'd write about 2 or 3 more chapters and give them a happy ending but... happy ending means the title of this story (not enough) would no longer make sense. Forgive me for that.