Not Enough (complete)

11. Smiley emoji

When Xiao Zhan woke up the next morning, he was alone. After their session last night, both men lay in each other's arms in silence but from the way both their hearts were beating and the way their fingers were intertwined, Xiao Zhan could tell Yibo had feelings for him. They had slept off like that.

Xiao Zhan still had his clothes from the previous day on. To say they smelled was an understatement but the smell didn't disgust him in any way, it was a mixture of their juices after all. If it were left to him, he wouldn't take them off.

He fiddled with his phone for a little, he didn't know whether to text or call Yibo. If he did, he didn't know whether to talk about the previous night or not. He didn't know if they were dating now or not. Although, after last night, he knew everything else was just a formality, just a verbal approval of their relationship.

It took so many years but finally, he had the one he loved within his grasp. The thought of that made him reveal a smile so bright, even he didn't know how much he smiled.

He remembered how he managed to convince himself that he was no longer in love with this person, he felt they could be friends, he had built a wall around his heart but all it took to tear down that wall was meeting this person once after 5 years. At that moment, Xiao Zhan finally accepted that there was no loving anyone else for him. Thankfully, things were looking up. He could tell his feelings were no longer one sided. Yibo... Yibo was the one who initiated the whole thing. Maybe he had held on to his feelings for long, so long that he couldn't bear to hold back any longer and he came on to him the only way he knew how to.

He was the older one, it was his duty to clear any ambiguities between himself and Yibo. He decided there and then, he was going to pursue him properly this time. Not that he needed to, their relationship was pretty much sealed, they've had something close to sex to prove that point. What was left was the oral confirmation, which to Xiao Zhan, was a very important step.

'I won't let you go this time. I won't give up on you, I simply cannot'. Xiao Zhan finally summoned up the courage to send this text message to Yibo.

......

Yibo had slept off in Xiao Zhan's arms. He slept off almost immediately after their entanglement. As for how he felt, he couldn't describe it. He didn't feel angry or disgusted, he didn't feel regretful either.

When he woke up, Xiao Zhan was still fast asleep, he wanted to continue to cuddle but he didn't know how to label what they were now. He didn't know how to face Xiao Zhan so he took his leave very early when Xiao Zhan was still asleep.

Xiao Zhan just returned the previous day, coupled with their session and the drinks they had, he wasn't surprised Xiao Zhan slept so deeply and had no idea when he left.

On his way home, up until now, he kept thinking. What was he to do now that this boundary had been crossed, was he going to go into a relationship with Xiao Zhan? Was he in love with him?

He couldn't answer that question. Did he like Xiao Zhan? The answer was yes! Who wouldn't like their best friend. Did he hate that Xiao Zhan had feelings for him? No. When he was younger, he didn't want those feelings coming from a man but now he was older and wiser, that was no longer a problem.

As for how he felt about this person, he still couldn't tell. He liked him quite all right, he had liked him as a friend for years but recently, his feelings had started to go past mere liking him, so much so that last night, he gave in to his inner wishes and rubbed their bodies together, seeking the sort of pleasure he had always wanted from the other.

Last night, he wasn't thinking of anything else. He just wanted to rub himself all over this person. He didn't think of what to do afterwards. He didn't think of how this was going to cause their friendship to change, he just went for it.

Thinking about it now, he would have waited. If not for Yang Zi who came to ask silly questions. Hearing that Xiao Zhan still had feelings for him all these years had pushed him over the edge and he had acted the way he did. If only... if only he had waited a little...

Wait... was this... regret? He didn't regret his action, not really. He only regretted carrying them out so soon. What was this feeling? And... how was he to remedy it?

Call Xiao Zhan and talk it over perhaps? He quickly dismissed that idea, calling it a bad one. Xiao Zhan was the last person he wanted to see right now, not until he had sorted out this feeling in his head.

He had never discussed such issues with anyone but this time, he felt he needed to talk to someone, to help wrap his head around things. He had quite a number of friends but the only person whom he could trust, open up to and talk to sincerely was the one person who made his whole mind a mess, Xiao Zhan.

Yibo rolled on the bed, scratching his head while trying to pull himself together but his thoughts were interrupted when his phone beeped. He looked at it, it was a message from Xiao Zhan.

'I won't let you go this time. I won't give up on you, I simply cannot'.

After reading it no less than 10 times, Yibo replied with a smiley emoji.

Author's note

Smiley emoji? Yibo, wtf is that!