Not Enough (complete)

4. I have no one

"So...Wang Yibo is your childhood friend?"

Xiao Zhan nodded in response when his classmate asked him this question. It had been a few months and Yibo had moved back with his mother. He had started school with Xiao Zhan and almost everyone was surprised to see the Xiao Zhan who liked keeping to himself being so friendly and acting so familiar with another person.

"That's great then. How about I invite you both to my birthday party this weekend?"

Xiao Zhan knew the girl who spoke to him had other intentions. He would have preferred she went straight to the point.

"I have another engagement back at home this weekend, I'd be unable to attend". Xiao Zhan kept on tidying his books as he spoke. It was the end of the school day and Yibo went to use the restroom while he stayed behind to tidy up both their bags.

"Ah, too bad. What about Yibo? Is he also occupied? I would really like for him to come. His response would determine the location I chose for the party".

Xiao Zhan knew her target was Yibo. She was not the first. Since Yibo joined them, countless people have come to ask Xiao Zhan to introduce them both. Some were straightforward and told Zhan they liked him while others tried to use other methods to stylishly make their intentions known.

Yibo had told him, he wasn't looking to get a girlfriend yet. Yibo was quite friendly with the class and he was easier to approach than Xiao Zhan. Also, he was ruthless when rejecting a confession hence, even though Xiao Zhan might be cold, it was better to go through him. At least, the rejection would not be so blatant.

"I'd pass your message across but if I were you, I won't raise my hopes too high".

"Ah, that's okay. Whatever he says is fine. Thank you. By the way, Yang Zi also wanted to know if you were coming, I'd tell her you're not", she gave a teasing smile and left.

In the past, a lot of girls had approached Xiao Zhan just like this but he had drawn a boundary. Yang Zi was one of the few people whom he regarded highly because while others were trying to get him to date them, she was indifferent towards him. Well, all of that changed the previous year when Yang Zi started to make passes at him. Xiao Zhan could tell she genuinely liked him but the feeling wasn't mutual. Also, their initially good friendship became strained.

Not only Xiao Zhan, everyone in the class knew Yang Zi had a thing for him and she was the only one Xiao Zhan was close to so they usually teased them both.

"What are you thinking of? Let's go".

Yibo's voice pulled him out of his daydream and they left together. Xiao Zhan asked Yibo if he was interested in the party and just like he thought, Yibo was neither interested in the girl nor in the party.

They lived about 30 minutes away from the school so they walked together to and from school. On that day, Xiao Zhan decided to stay over at Yibo's till evening. His mum usually got home a little late, there was no point being all alone.

As soon as they arrived, Yibo collapsed on the bed, took out his phone and began pressing. Xiao Zhan figured he was either playing a game or chatting with his friends outside the country. Whenever Yibo held his phone, he seemed to forget about everything around him, and that included Xiao Zhan.

Zhan didn't mind. He sat in one corner, took out a book and started to read. Soon, Yibo's mum called out to Yibo. Yibo grudgingly put his phone down and left.

Xiao Zhan heard them talking but he had no idea what they were saying. At first, they just talked and then it started to sound like an argument. Their voices got louder, then he heard Yibo yell at his mum.

"I hate it ma, I hate it here. You are so selfish. If you had issues with dad, why did you drag me into it? I miss my life and I miss my friends. I had a life back there but I had to leave it all to come start afresh here. I have no one here, I have no friends, do you know how difficult it is starting a new school at this age? Why didn't you consider my well being before dragging me all the way here?"

Xiao Zhan sat stiffly, he was afraid to make a sound. He heard Yibo's mum reply but her voice was softer. Yibo was being unreasonable and continued to yell at her. The last thing he said before dashing out of the house and banging the door was "I hate you ma".

Yibo left, forgetting Xiao Zhan was in his room waiting for him. The words he just said replayed in his head over and over. He had no friends? Then...what about him? What were they? Was he being delusional? He considered Yibo his friend, his only friend but Yibo didn't feel the same way.

Xiao Zhan felt uneasy in his chest. He had already realized his feelings for Yibo and thought they could gradually build on their friendship but...what was he even to this person? Just someone to while away the time with? Come to think of it, Yibo mostly paid attention to him when he had nothing else to do. In school, they were considered best friends but that was only because Xiao Zhan had no other friends. Yibo had been with them for a short time but he had made a few 'buddies', they were not as close but they were close enough to exchange contacts.

Xiao Zhan noticed Yibo left his phone in the room, there was no need texting him to say he was leaving. He picked up his bag, looking dejected as he walked out of the room.

As soon as he exited the room, he heard light sobs coming from the living room. The silly boy made his mum cry. He had no idea how painful a divorce was but he knew the pain he felt whenever Yibo ignored him or made him feel less important. Being divorced should feel worse, right?

He saw himself walking towards the living room. He couldn't help it, he sat beside Yibo's mum and tried his best to console her.

"I'm sorry Aunt Lu, please don't cry". He didn't think it was appropriate to hug her like he did his mum, it wasn't right to pat her shoulders either so he could just sit there and use his words.

Wang Lu, sensing his difficulties, pulled herself together. "A-Zhan, you're here. I wasn't aware you came home with Yibo. And the brat just ran away. I'm sorry".

Xiao Zhan assured her he was fine. After he ascertained that she was better, he said goodbye and took his leave.

His house was a stone throw away from Yibo's but he took a longer route, subconsciously trying to look out for Yibo.

This turned out to be a waste of time as he didn't find the person he was looking for so he headed home. Immediately he pushed his bedroom door open, Yibo came running to him, enveloping him in a hug.

"A-Zhan...", it was obvious Yibo had been crying. His voice was hoarse and his face was red. His eyes were swollen. Xiao Zhan felt sad seeing him like this, coupled with that hug, Yibo hadn't done that in a long time, since they were kids.

"I miss home, I miss my friends, I miss my old school, I miss my dad. I really don't like it here but thankfully I have you"

"..."

"I still have my friend. If not for you, maybe I'd have gone to insane. You're the only reason I'm able to go on."

Xiao Zhan felt all the pain he felt not long ago dissipate. Of course he knew Yibo missed his old life, his parents were going through a divorce, it must have been hard on him too. He felt Yibo's hands around his waist tighten and he held him across his shoulder, patting his head with one hand.

His feelings were reciprocated, Yibo also considered him a friend. In fact, Yibo considered him a source of comfort in his lonely world. There was a warm feeling in his heart he couldn't describe. He put his face in Yibo's hair and took in a deep breath.

His hair smelled of a mixture of shampoo and hair care products. Slightly refreshing, Xiao Zhan took another breath. Then he felt Yibo move his head, raising his face up slowly until their eyes met. His eyes were still wet with tears but he could swear he saw something in his eyes other than the tears, something that looked sort of like...twinkles.

Before he could figure it out, Yibo smashed their lips together.

A/N

Woah 🤯