Venting Writing

Venting Writing #2 (Part I)

22 March 2015

Disappointment and Darkness

Sometimes I feel like a complete disappointment.

My friends feel as though they are a disappointment as well.

When I see how my professors look at some people I see a proud look in their eyes

Whereas when they look at me I feel as though they are disappointed in me.

For whatever reason I feel down and not proud of the work I have done.

I am not a bad student...at least I don't think I am.

I just don't know how to manage my time efficiently at times.

I do not know how to cope with the stress and pressure

While trying to maintain my good grades

I know I can do better and be better if I just try harder

But if I try any harder I may just break completely

With no way to put the pieces back together.

I admire my friends though they see themselves as disappointments.

I try to help them see that they are not.

It's hard to practice what you preach.

It's easier to help someone see the light and bright side of things

Because you are going through what they are going through too

It's just harder to convince yourself that what you are saying

To someone else can and does apply to you as well.

"Makes me feel like a hypocrite" as my friend once said.

Trying to get out of a dark place is hard sometimes.

The more you are in the dark the harder it is to leave.

Once you get out of the dark once just to return years or some time later

It is and gets more and more difficult to leave.

I know I will not return to the darkness completely

As I am the light in many if not most of my friends' eyes and life

I am the one they go to when they are in their own sense of darkness

I am the one to help them get out of the dark even if just for a few moments...