Future Mrs. Robertson

Sixteen

Kate

I woke up to an empty bed. Em's side of the bed neatly wrapped showing that it wasn't used. I ended up adding two blankets but it remained cold. When I opened my eyes the first thing that greeted me was Em's wedding band on my side bed. Too much pain and hurt filling in. I know I deserve all that's happening and I can't blame anyone for turning their backs on me.

I had to set my alarm clock an hour early so I can wake Em up before the kids see that she didn't sleep in our room. I went down where she's sleeping. She was cuddled up there. She seemed really uncomfortable.

Me : Babe wake up. I shook her slightly.
She groaned as a response.

Her : What is it now Kate? She looked at her phone. It's 4 am Kate.

Me : I didn't want the kids to wake up and see you here. Come on get up and move to our bedroom.

Her : You mean your bedroom. Anyway we should tell the kids what's going on and that Alex is their older sister. We can't hide it forever.

I could feel my heart shatter right there. Our room has become mine alone. The place where we made love and became one, Where our kids were probably conceived and were we saw each other's vulnerable state and still embraced each other. A place were our souls mated.

Me : It's our bedroom Emma. That cannot change. It's our safe space. We will tell our kids the truth but not the fact that we having problems. They deserve both their parents.

Her : They deserve to know how their mother broke their family. No matter what I'll always be in my children's lives Kate. And I'll be looking for an  apartment to stay at, probably til we figure the custody plan between us. Since my Job is flexible I don't mind fetching the kids and keeping them until you get them. I understand that you sometimes have to stay behind at school.

I could control my tears. This is it. This is how I destroyed my family.

Me : Emma please give me one last chance, I can not live without you. Please don't move out, give us a chance. Think about the kids, divorcing will only hurt them.

A glass shattering broke us off our conversation. Turning I'm met by a very shocked Faith. Her eyes wide open as tears pour out. Emma jumped from the sofa rushing to where Faith was.

Em : Don't move honey. You don't have shoes on.

Em went and picked our 14 year old who was too shocked. She remained silent as she was trying to process what she just heard.

Faith : You guys are divorcing?
It came out as a whisper but we heard it.

Em : You weren't supposed to find out like this. What are you doing up so early?

Faith : I was thirsty and came down for some milk.

Me : Baby can you just get ready for school and we will discuss this during breakfast.

She did as told. I went to get ready for work also while Em went to wake Hope and Alex. Em only goes to work when it's necessary since she owns clubs. She mostly goes on Friday and during the weekend as it's busy days. She stays with Angel during the week.

Soon enough we were gathered around having breakfast. Faith wasn't eating while Alex was just pushing her food around. Hope as always sat quiet eating. I was breastfeeding Angel. Em gave me the "tell them stare"
I cleared my throat.

Emma

All heads turned to focus on Kate as she cleared her throat. Angel was just feeding playing with her feet.

Kate : Uhm I have something I would like to discuss with you all. But first I want you guys to know that your dad and I will always love you and what you about to hear has nothing to do with you. I have my fair share of mistakes. I'm only human and I do things thinking they the best choices. When your daddy and I were just at the beginning of our relationship I got pregnant and had the baby. My fault was that I never told your daddy about it. When I had the child I..I gave it away.

Both Faith and Hope's attention was now on Kate. She was struggling to tell them.

Me : What your mother is saying is that Alex here is your big sister. She is our daughter.

Since we have been here Hope finally speaks.

Hope : Why?...why did you do it?

Kate : At the time it seemed like the only option considering the fact that we weren't stable enough for a child.

Hope : I don't think that's true. You had a lot of options. Abortion being one of them.

We all remained silent. Even Alex seemed a little interested.

Kate : Well...

Alex : Of course! She scoffs.

Me : You wanted to kill my child?

Kate : At the time I was looking for solutions. Sindi talked me out of it. While we on the blaming game why don't you tell the kids that you want to break their family by divorcing me!
Yes what I did was wrong, you can hate me for it but it was never easy on me too.

Hope : From what I've gathered here is that us with mismatched genitals are not cared for.
She says nonchalantly.

Kate : What? What does that even mean Hope?

Hope : All I'm saying is that you only care about Faith and Angel. There was a time I needed you but your weren't available. Whenever I showed any slight emotion you'd just say I keep to myself. Only dad take time to reach out. You never did but whenever Faith needed you, you were there!
Dad can you take me to school?

Me : Uhm sure.

I took all the kids to school and then dropped Angel at the daycare. I can't look after her today a lot seems to be happening.