As If We Never Said Goodbye (JENLISA)

I hate myself for losing you

Surprise and sorry...

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Here we go again.

Three years.

Thirty-six months.

One hundred and fifty-six weeks.

One thousand ninety-five days.

That's how long it took to find her again.

That was how long it took to discover that she was no longer the girl who promised her forever and ever a world away.

Three years.

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She lay motionless on her bed, the noise of the crusher reverberating through the walls because of the construction at the end of the street. The city was alive, car horns and police sirens could be heard in the distance. With a sigh, she turned her head to the side to look at the photo on her bedside table, their photo. It was in a dark frame, and Lisa reached out to run her fingers across it as she did every morning. She remembered that day as if it were yesterday. She remembered the cold wind and the crowded square. She remembered the older couple.

Three years had passed and she still remembered her laugh. And she would never forget the look on her face when she saw the photo; the frightened but loving look she received when she realized that Lisa was walking through her walls.

I miss those eyes.

Lisa retracted her hand after a moment. The smell of coffee came from the kitchen, letting her know that the other girl was already awake. The fragrance still made her stomach turn and reminded her of her father, the one she hadn't seen since the nine months she had moved to New York. She paid the rent for the apartment and the food in the fridge, but didn't show up on her birthday. Twenty-two and she still resented him for it.

She rolled out of bed and went into the kitchen, the wooden floor rattling with every step she took. Giant windows covered the entire wall of her apartment- theirs, the morning sun illuminating the room. She turned off the coffee machine when she reached the kitchen counter. She occupied herself with her own breakfast while arms encircled her waist and Lisa relaxed against the familiar embrace. She felt soft lips connect with the nape of her neck and breath against her skin. She snuggled further into her body, enjoying the calm that came with those arms.

"Good morning, roomie."

A familiar pain surged through her chest, holding her heart and squeezing hard. She frowned and took a deep breath, trying to swallow the simple words. That feeling, that incessant ache, was always there; it was the one thing that never left her all these years.

"I think I already told you not to call me that, Chae." She sighed, positioning her hand gently on the girl's arm. She ran her fingers across the skin as she felt the grip loosen, making it feel empty.

"Sorry, I forgot." Chaeyoung replied softly, taking a step back. "Three weeks?"

"Three weeks." Lisa replied in a tired voice.

This became like an alias between the two best friends, a compromise so Lisa didn't have to hear the name out loud, not that it made that much difference.

Everything reminded Lisa of the girl, every church and statue, every plane or train track. Even the sunlight reminded her of the seventeen days. And God forbid she should see anyone with a diary and a pen; those were the worst.

Chaeyoung went towards the refrigerator and got the milk, putting some in her coffee before passing it to Lisa, who was holding out her hand waiting. The redhead was wearing the T-shirt she got from her friend in Amsterdam, the leaf design with little blue dots of paint from when they redecorated her room a few months ago.