As If We Never Said Goodbye (JENLISA)

please remember us

Long fingers combed through her blonde hair, the sunlight made her swollen eyes burn. She lifted a careful hand, only to meet warm skin and a tight embrace. The body squeezed her tight, comforting her from the memories of last night that popped back into her mind.

She's back.

"Good morning." Lisa managed to say.

"Hi." Chaeyoung's soft voice filled the room, her free hand tracing paths across her exposed skin. Lisa had thought she would never see this again; her crying and her best friend comforting her. She couldn't remember the last time she woke up like that; it must have been months ago. But every time she woke up like this, it got worse than before. It had become a routine, so much so that Lisa stopped questioning when she woke up in the girl's bed, strong arms around her. Chaeyoung never said anything; she just pulled the blankets back and held her until the tears started to fall. But something told Lisa that this morning would be different.

Chaeyoung sat up, leaning her back against the wall behind her and pulled the blonde's head into her lap, her fingers still running through her hair. Lisa knew her friend wanted to say something, so she stuffed her face into her cotton shorts, preparing herself for what would be said.

"Jungkook called."

A lump formed in Lisa's throat when she heard his name, and Chaeyoung noticed the sudden change. The girl wriggled under the blonde, before letting the cell phone fall back onto the bed.

"I told him to fuck off." She said quietly.

Lisa could feel her lips lift with the threat of a smile. The only times she saw her friend curse were when she was referring to him. There was always something about Jungkook that irritated Chaeyoung. Lisa didn't pretend to know what it was and never dared to ask; she was afraid of the answer. She didn't like to think of her in any way other than the girl who came to her house scared when they were fifteen. Or the girl who lay on the trampoline in the backyard of her house, watching the sky and forgetting about the days.

"Thank you." She murmured.

"Do you want to talk?"

Lisa took a deep breath, the smile falling from her face. The image of Jennie, of being so close to her flashed through her mind once again as she closed her eyes. The knot in her stomach only got worse when she remembered the look on the brunette's face just before she left in anger; a look of complete and utter helplessness. It was something she couldn't bear to see in that face she loved so much. But Lisa no longer felt entitled to fix it; she was not Jennie's. So she walked away.

"She's back."

"Jennie?"

Chaeyoung's tone was careful, probably wondering if the word was still a taboo. But Lisa nodded slowly, running her hand gently down the redhead's thigh to show that it was okay; that hearing the name out loud would not make her weep.

"She's my boss." Lisa laughed humorlessly. Chaeyoung remained silent, waiting for her to continue, her fingers playing with the blonde's bangs. Lisa swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and hugged her friend's legs tightly, needing the reassurance that always came when she was near her. Her mind went over all the words they had exchanged; the empty, bitter words. But they had three that stood out among the others and made the tears threaten to appear again. "She's with someone else."

She let out an uneven sigh that came with the pain that was saying those words out loud. Endless scenarios ran through her mind; all the times when she should have done something, anything. She never imagined that it would be too late for them. She kept hoping that one day they would meet and everything would be as it was, as if Jennie had never left.