Identity Crisis

Wednesday, Claire

Match up with Rikki's friends (George and Scarlett)
Drink more
Insult more

Those were the tasks I had to do and I thought about them every morning when I woke up and every night when I went to sleep. It didn't really say what criteria I had to meet to be a real bad girl, so I did as much as possible to make it fit. But I didn't dare to drink, I was just too good for that.

Every day in my room I thought of myself:

I am Claire Williams
5'3 tall
88 lbs

I was in my room and always put my make-up on first. I saw this tutorial on Youtube, where a Youtuber turns into a bad girl. I applied my foundation and concealer first. I usually wore pink blush and lipstick, but I looked like a dark haired Barbie.

This time I wore blood-red lip gloss. You can also wear black lipstick, but that was too gloomy for me. I wore this raccoon eye makeup. Either black or dark purple eyeshadow and mascara.

I lived with my mother and was an only child. My parents are divorced and we live in an old apartment that my father financed for us. Usually my mom didn't want me to go out in this look, but that was an exceptional situation.

After all, it's about my addiction to vomiting. I have problems feeling good about my body, but I didn't want anyone to know. In principle, it was good that Tim or Londonsschoolspy brought it up, but you didn't have to tell the whole school about that.

I loved to vomit. I always felt so free afterwards. It was one of the most beautiful things in the world. I built it into my routine, always in the evening after my parents went to sleep. It was of course exhausting, but afterwards you felt empty and it was a great feeling. After doing that, I emptied the trash can with a smile. I knew it wasn't healthy, but not everyone has a habit that is unhealthy, dangerous or even fatal.

I had nothing to do with Tim before the Identity Crisis, but then it suddenly happened. I felt like I was in a parallel universe. I had nothing against the other people, who are also involved, but somehow I hated Rikki. When Tom mentioned this to me earlier, I wanted to give him a provocative answer and it just occurred to me, but I just didn't like it when someone followed me without asking me.

It's like copying someone's song without permission, then they'd have to pay or they'd go to jail. Rikki copied my makeup and caught up with Riley, my best friend. Since Monday she was my secret archenemy.

I found it exciting to be detained with Tom yesterday. I thought it was super hot. Every movement, every look and every word that came out of his beautiful lips. I would do anything to voluntarily take part in the Identity Crisis just to feel his lips once. He was sure to be good at kissing and I was glad he liked me. It was only a matter of time before he would admit it.

I just didn't know how to let him know that I liked him too.

I drove to school and listened to music. I then looked for Allie because I never saw her. She always liked to be the center of attention and it was strange to see her alone. Because I was worried about her. It was strange to see a popular, tough young lady alone and lost again.

When I went to the bathroom, I saw her crouched in the corner crying. I couldn't stand the sight, even if she was so mean to me. It pained me to see her like this and I felt a sting in my heart. It was unusual and it scared me at times.
>>Allie, what's wrong?<< I asked worried. Concerned? You're a bad girl, Claire, don't be concerned
>> They all hate me. << she sobbed.

I rolled my eyes. >> So what. I tell you. After two weeks you did it. You get a huge glow up. <<
If she makes you look ugly duckling, but suddenly you look at swan, that doubles the effect.
>> Go out. It won't do any good if you continue like this. Otherwise you will never win. <<, I motivated her.
>> I totally disappointed Nicole. <<, she replied, >> But you are right, Claire. <<

I helped her stand up and she stood upright. But one thing made me very curious.
>> Tell me, Allie. What is your secret anyway. << I finally asked her.

At first she wanted to go to the door, but then she explained it to me. >> This summer when school started again ... <<
She took a deep breath and paused for a moment. >> I was at Tim's party that he threw and I was drunk and then. <<
Tears welled out of her eyes and she wiped them away. >> I can't remember what happened in between, but I stabbed my boyfriend at the time, Ryan, with a knife. He was found unconscious, taken to the hospital and somehow didn't tell anyone about it. It was an accident. He then moved to Manchester. <<

I was in shock. Allie was toxic and oriented toward fashion and her modeling career rather than boys, but I didn't know she was a murderer. I spoke to a KILLER. I didn't really know what to say about it and just looked at her in shock and she looked uncertain. My bad me went out. For a moment I was completely speechless

>>Thank you for telling me that.<< I said and hugged her. Well ... she hugged me rather said because she was so tall. We both went outside and Allie sat next to Leo. I had to see Rikki's real friends: Scarlett and George.

They were both cool, but not my character type. I tried to adapt to them.
>>You're coming to George's party today, aren't you?<< Scarlett wanted to say.
I had stated before Tom that I was going to a party, but I had never been to a party and I was so nervous.

Instead, I always had to study for school and besides, I didn't like being around so many people. Like Tom, I was the introverted guy.
>>Sure I'll come.<< I said.
>>Have you ever been to a party?<< Asked George, "I've never seen you at any one?"

I shook my head. >> I'm a little nervous, << I admitted.
They both exchanged looks and laughed. I felt a little uncomfortable and feared that they would say something bad. They were people like Rikki.
>>Scarlett will help you, don't worry.<< George replied calmly.