Identity Crisis

monday

I arrived home in the afternoon.  >> Hello Mum. <<
Before that, I was always good at all subjects, but if I screwed up, she immediately freaked out.

>> Hey Dan.  What do you have in chemistry? <<
My smile faded and so did hers.  She realized that I had a bad grade.
>> A five. <<
My mum got angry.  >> First the six in the Spanish vocabulary test and now a five in chemistry?  What's wrong with you?  You're always so good. <<

>> I want to eat. <<, I complained, >> Can we talk about it later. <<
>> No, we're talking now.  I'm a bus driver and your father works as an educator.  We slipped off to nightclubs when we were your age and were in constant contact with drug dealers.  My father made it out of there earlier than I did.  I don't want you to end up like us ... <<

I couldn't hear the rest because I covered my ears.  I took my food into the room and locked the door.  My parents both had pretty tough pasts and that was what bothered me about them.  Both were the same.  Sometimes I even had the feeling that they were siblings.  My parents had no idea what it was like to be in an identity crisis.  My mum in particular always gave me a five-minute lecture about it.

I just waited until it got dark so I could get it all over with.  I heard my parents turn off the TV and go to sleep from my room.  After that I waited an hour and it was ten.  I got dressed and snuck out of my room.

My parents' room door was open and they were sound asleep.  I put on my jacket and shoes, trying to look my best.  I never snuck outside and it was all brand new to me.  I've never been out alone this late at night.

Some people who walked their dog at night stared at me strangely, but I didn't take that seriously.  The bus was empty and I was the only one there.  Fascinating, I looked at the street lamps that brushed my way.  At a bus stop we were even in the dark on the highway.  But after fifteen minutes I was in the nightclub with Tim and his friends.  We were four people.  Tim, Bella, Nicole and me.
We hired us, showed the fake IDs from China and came in.

>> Wow. << I was amazed.  The room was large and there were three floors.  Nicole and I inquired.  There was a dance floor with loads of party songs booming from the speakers, a bar on the second floor and a strip club and pool table on the third floor.  Was that the nightclub my parents met?

But despite the great entertainment this nightclub offers, only one thing buzzed through my head.  How did Tim get away with all of this.  Did his parents know about the gaming club, were they involved themselves or Tim was just planning super smart.  I didn't know one of the parents personally, I only saw his mother at a school party.

>> Come on Dannylein, let's dance. << Nicole shouted.  I listened to what she said and I did my best because I couldn't dance.  But apparently Nicole found that sexy.  She pressed her body against mine and that's when everything stopped for me.  "Shall I buy you a drink?" I asked.
My friend nodded and I bought her a whiskey.  I wondered where Tim was, but he probably made himself comfortable on the stripper floor.

>> Dannylein, may I ask you something. << It came from Nicole.  She was always very cheesy to me so I couldn't tell if she was sober or not.  I hated that nickname, but didn't want her to pray for it.
>> Shoot off. <<, I said only then.

>> I feel like I'm a burden to you.
Why do you kiss me so seldom?
Oh god, she could tell that something was wrong.
>> I wasn't ready for it yet. <<
"But now it's you." It came from someone.  I turned around and saw Tim and Bella.  >> Come on.  Kiss her. <<

Confused, I grabbed her lips in my possession and Nicole made it a French kiss.  I tried to follow her.  When her lips left mine I turned my head to Tim and looked at him questioningly and he just smiled.  It was one o'clock and we were all sitting on the third floor, where it was more relaxed.

All four of us talked about studying or training like adults would do so that the strippers wouldn't notice.
Finally Nicole and I wanted to look for a place alone again because I thought of Allie.  She'd be curious to see what Nicole thought of her.  >> What do you have against Allie? << I shot off.

Nicole looked up and pressed her fist against her chin.  Then she turned to me.  >> I don't want to have anything to do with people who look looser.  Allie was okay before that.  Her mother, on the other hand, fascinated me more.  She was Holly Thompson a famous model from the late eighties to the late nineties.  My mum got on well with her.

You are also a loser from a poor background, but in my eyes at least you have charisma and that's why I fell in love with you.  Allie and I had a lot of arguments and she's really exhausting too.  The focus is always directed only on them and never on us.  This bitch doesn't deserve us. <<

I was amazed and wanted to say something about it, but suddenly my mum called me.  >> DAN, WHERE ARE YOU ?!  I WANTED TO DRINK WATER AND YOUR ROOM DOOR WAS OPEN.  YOU WERE NOT IN.  COME HOME IMMEDIATELY.  I WILL WAIT FOR YOU IN TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES. <<