Identity Crisis

Friday

I hummed Nirvana's tunes as I got up.  If there's one thing Tim couldn't take away from me, it's my taste in music.  Because without this kind of music I wouldn't even exist.

I looked at my assignment slip:
Be cuter
Hang out with Claire's girlfriend more and conform to her (Riley)
Be clean

We're all going to die slowly and it wouldn't matter what kind of person you were.  Unless you've been a mentally ill blackmailer like Tim, then I tell you, die in hell.  He and I got along well and we were in a class together in elementary school.  I didn't know that he hated me so much, I didn't care either.  Or maybe he just wanted to pursue his satisfaction.  Anyway I had to get up.

To be honest, I didn't know why I was such a bad girl.  My parents were never strict or anything.  Maybe it's just my brain.  I liked my messy ways, but now I had to make it sweet and I owe my friends a ton of explanations.  Yesterday was a terrible day.  I found out from Dan that evening that Liam had cheated on me with this bitch.  What was her name again?

Aha ... Claire!  Being drunk was not an excuse or justification for me and I say that as an alcoholic.  At least a week ago.  That he cheated on me sucked and I'll break up.  I doubted my decision to let him live and I was less motivated.  I was very vengeful and wanted to mess with Tom, who loves that ugly thing.  More points for Tom, less for mic
I knew my attitude towards this was a bit double-moral because I had something with George ... my best friend at that party and I was really drunk.  It wasn't okay of me, I'll admit, but first of all: Why didn't we notice the video cameras Tim told us about and anyway why do you make a sex tape out of them?  Second, I saw it coming.  I was the bitch and George was just out of it before he was properly beaten up by Liam.  He wasn't someone who ruined our relationship.

I never beat Claire in my life, but to me she was always a witch who played a cute, innocent little princess.  She was so fake!  I felt so sorry for George and Scarlett.  I didn't feel like doing all this theater and just wanted to get out of this club or whatever.  I put on makeup and wore a black leather jacket to wear.

At school I was gawked at me strangely by these disabled people.  Who did they think they were?  They thought I was the film and they thought I was the audience.  Riley greeted me.  Whoa, she was dead boring.  I took her hand.
>>Come with me!<<, I ordered angrily and she just looked at me confused.  I wondered why Claire would want to hang out with a dead boring girl.  I could never stand her, but I always felt sorry for Riley.  Well times have changed ...

We went to Liam and his friends.
>>Hey, Liam.<<, I greeted him sweetly.  Looking at him hurt me and it made me angry.  It was like torture to me.  I couldn't play a good girl, I just couldn't.  For a moment I didn't even know whether to get angry or sad.

He licked his lip and intended to kiss me.  >>Hey, baby.<<
I couldn't believe it.  I could not believe it.  I felt compelled to look into his blue eyes that were so full of lies.  He pretended that nothing had happened.  As if none of this had ever happened.  I slapped him out of anger.  I wanted to see him suffer.
>>Ouch!<< he grumbled and touched his cheek.

>>WHAT HAD CLAIRE, WHAT I DIDN'T HAVE?<< I yelled and the whole school yard looked at me, but I didn't give a shit.  Let the whole world hear it.  I wanted everyone here to know what they did to ME, his girlfriend.

>>Wow, did you cheat on her?  You really sucked.<<, said a friend to him and took my side.  It brought a tear from my eye and I doubted my unfaithful friend wouldn't notice.  I looked at him in pain and my eyes were already shining.  >>I'm sorry, Rikki.<<, Liam apologized, >>I was a drunk idiot.<<

"THAT'S NO EXCUSE." I shrieked, kicking him in the balls.  He groaned briefly in pain.  >> And how was she in bed? << I asked.
>> Rikki, be quiet. <<, my friend whispered tensely.  I could tell how nervous he was right now, but so should he.  >> Why are you wearing these things.  What would Riley say to that? ”He whispered to me.  Riley was there too.  I hadn't paid any attention to her and she stood there like a tree and said nothing.

Liam looked at me seriously and I turned to Riley.  I was about to leave.
>> Wait. <<, Liam ordered, >> From whom did you find out? <<
>> Dan. <<, I just said.  Shit, he'd beat him up like that for it.  I just couldn't think before I said something.

After class, I ran to Claire with Tom and Riley, angry.  She was just talking to George, Scarlett, Mandy and Mick.  >> Rikki it ... <<
She continued to look up at Tom: >> ... I'm sorry. <<
When she saw him, her gaze hardened: "What do you want?"
>> Spent a nice night with Liam, didn't you? <<, said Tom.  His tone was numb, but I saw in his eyes how jealous he was.  Claire ignored him and turned to me.
>> Rikki, I didn't mean ... <<

George and Scarlett stood in front of her: "Go again!" They ordered.
>> Who are you?  Your bodyguards? << I asked.
"You're right, let's go." Riley said, slightly scared, but I didn't stop.
"That wasn't on purpose!" Said Claire, crossing her arms.

George started to get angry and moaned at me: >> What do you want?  First you avoid us and now you complain about something. <<
"Your boyfriend cheated on her." Tom defended me.
>> Rikki, our friendship is over. << Scarlett announced moodily and rolled her eyes.  Claire crossed her arms angrily: >> Rikki, I never wanted to hurt you, but you're just a nasty bitch that nobody can give a second chance. <<

Whoa.  How could she say that to me.  It was the first time I felt the urge to hit her, but I thought words hurt even more.
"Oh, and you're playing a cute little thing here that ends up laying every boy down." Tom said irritably.
That hit the heart.  I saw the sudden shock in her eyes.  The fact that Tom, who she fell for was mad at her, saddened her.  In contrast, I was nothing and that made me angry too.