stalked (jenlisa)

chapter seventeen

Lisa had been acting better since that night I asked her to be my girlfriend. I was still keeping an eye on her friend though. They met once a week, always at Lisa's house, never at Jisoo's. I wonder if Lisa had even taken the initiative to find out where she lives, like I had. I discovered she hadn't been living there long, not since before Lisa and I met.

It seemed she was only here to create a wedge between Lisa and me. But yet, Lisa seemed to trust her. It made no sense. Lisa had been more than willing to kill anyone who she deemed a threat to what we had, but someone who was actively telling her lies about me (or truths, I wasn't sure), she was having tea with them once a week.

I hated her. Not Lisa. I could never hate Lisa. I hated Jisoo. I hated how she had a relationship with Lisa. I hated how she was still alive when Lisa should have killed her the second she had anything negative to say about me. She was a problem, and if Lisa wasn't going to sort her out, then I would have to.

Not right now though. Right now, Lisa was throwing me on the bed and was about to fuck the life out of me. I wanted her to. I wanted her to do whatever she wanted to me, in whichever way she wanted.

She kisses my lips hard and grabs my waist roughly. She doesn't just want this, she needs this. She needs me. When I start to buck my hips into her in search of friction, she kisses down my jaw and starts to leave marks on my neck.

I knew I messed up then.

The second it left my mouth, I wished I could take it back.

In a single second, I had fucked everything up.

"What?" The shock is evident in her voice. She's not kissing me anymore. She's looking down at me, waiting for me to explain myself.

Panic is spreading quickly through me, but my will to protect the relationship we have is indestructible.

Maybe I could just deny it.

"What?" I ask her. I tried to look at her like she was the crazy one, but I knew my panic was showing.

"What did you just say?" She asks again.

"Nothing."

"Did you just--"

"No, I didn't," I say quickly, before she can even finish her sentence.

She's silent for a tense fifteen seconds, just looking down at me, her brows slightly furrowed and her mouth slightly agape. My heart is pounding so hard already and I can feel the hot flushes coming.

"You just called me mommy," she finally says.

She had heard it. There was no taking it back. No pretending it had never happened. She had heard it loud and clear. I felt sick. I had to quickly think of a way to turn this around. I had not spent months working so hard to make sure this went perfectly just for it to all unravel with me saying one stupid word.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly, feeling incredibly small and vulnerable under Lisa's intense gaze. She's awfully quiet for too long and it's too much for me to take. "I have... issues," I admit.

"Clearly." Her face is unreadable. She doesn't look mad or amused. Complete indifference.

I hoped I wasn't losing my innocence in her eyes. Maybe she would take pity on me and it wouldn't interfere with everything I had worked so hard to build.

"I have mommy issues," I clarify, looking as innocent as I can. Being underneath her is an advantage. She hasn't recoiled in disgust; she's still pinning me down, looking at me with big, brown, doe eyes.

So beautiful.

She's quiet again and I hate it. But then her face softens and she bends down to kiss my forehead.