golden - Spencer Reid

change - chapter 22

~Elizabeth's POV~

TW!Panic attack!ex things!talks of kidnapping!guns

I walked into the BAU and went to Spencer's desk, papers will cleared and it looked to be collect dust. My heart broke more than it already had been. I missed Spencer, even if we weren't together anymore. I sat his favorite coffee down and walked into the round table room. I didn't work at my desk anymore. Instead I worked in there until we had a case. I sat down and began to go through some old cases. I was supposed to do reports on them and see how we have  improved and what we need to work on. I was told Maeve's case wouldn't be in here so I felt a little better. 

I plugged my headphones into my phone and began to listen to my favorite playlist. I was reading through the reports, making notes, checking things out when I heard a faint knock on the door frame. I looked up to see the one and only Spencer Reid. He looked like a mess, he had messy curly hair, pajamas on, slippers on and bags under his eyes. I slowly stood up and looked at him and frowned. "Spenc-" I was cut off by him hugging tightly. I of course hugged back. I held him tightly and closed my eyes. I let him cry, I whispered that he was okay and rubbed his back. "You didn't have to come back you know" I whispered to him after a minute of quiet. "Derek called with a question so I knew it was time to come back" He whispered with a small chuckle. I laughed and pulled away gently. "Dressed like this?" I asked jokingly. He laughed and looked at me "I was in a rush to see everyone" He said softly. I nodded and smiled. "I have some of your old clothes in my go baggy if you want to change" I offered. He nodded so I went and grabbed my bag. "Here take it with" I said. He nodded again and made his way to the bathroom. I sighed and sat back down and flipped through more paperwork. Then I came across Maeve's case file. My eyes filled with tears the second I read her name. My heart began to beat faster and faster by the second. I let out a tiny sob and covered my mouth. I don't think I'll ever get over Maeve's case. It was so...brutal. I quickly moved the file to the bottom of the stack and wiped my tears. I took a deep breath and then a sip of my coffee to relax. 

I went on to read through a few more files. I kept taking more and more notes. I didn't even notice that Spencer had walked in. "What case is this?" he asked. "Oh uh it's.." I went on to say the title of the case and explained it a bit. I then went over a few things I wish we would have done. Spencer agreed and took a drink of his coffee. He was in a white button up now and black pants with a purple tie. He had mix match socks on and his hair was less messy. He looked cute. I just wanted to kiss his forehead and cheeks and tell him how much I loved him but of course I wouldn't do those things. Soon enough I was done going though the cases. I got back down to Maeve's and tucked it away. Spencer got a quick look at it and began to frown. I quickly got up and grabbed his hand. "Come on, I have something for you" I said trying to distract him. He was caught off guard but followed holding onto my hand. I opened Penelope's office door and walked in. Penelope's face lit up when she saw that Spencer was back and looked like Spencer (with a few extra bags under his eyes and tiredness in his eyes). They hugged for a bit and smiled. They began to talk about everything under the sun. It was nice to have this feeling back. I left so they could have alone time and walked back to the cases. I let out a shaky sigh and sat down. I began to go over Maeve's case. Tears filled my eyes and my heart hurt so bad. I began to write down notes, explain what happened to me and the put it in the down pile. I let out a small sob and covered my mouth. I was so exhausted and just wanted to go home and sleep.

~After work~

I was the last one at work, I had finished up putting cases away and locking up when I heard something fall hard onto the floor. My heart stopped and my breathing got very slow. I was scared, what if I was getting kidnapped for a third time now? I pulled out my gun and began to aim where the noise had came from. I then saw Spencer walk out of the darkness, I quickly put my gun down and let out a sigh of relief. He chuckled a bit and walked over to me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" He said with a small smile. I smiled a bit and shook my head. "It's okay, I'm just a little on edge you know?" I said/ asked. He nodded and looked down a bit. "I uh..I was wondering if you would stay at the house tonight...I hate being alone" He said softly. Part of me wanted to say yes, a little too fast. But the other part of me wanted to say 'Spencer, I'm still in love with you, I can't'. I sighed and closed my eyes trying to think. "S-sure, yeah" I said softly. Spencer smiled and I began to grab my things. We then walked out and got in our cars. We drove to Spencer's house. The ride there I thought about all the things wrong with this. As I pulled into the driveway of the house I used to call home I took a deep breath. I unbuckled and got out of my car. 

"I-I don't have clot-" I started but was cut off. "I have some of yours..I hid them in case I-I missed you" Spencer said quickly. I nodded and walked into the house after Spencer had unlocked it. I looked around, it was kind of messy, they way I had left it, smelled like him, and I loved it. I sighed and walked into the living room. I saw where our old pictures were, they were now replaced with pictures of the team with me cropped out of them. There was a few of Maeve with pained me to see. I saw the the couches and chairs were replaced with a light cream colored set. The kitchen was changed up as well, our dining table was gone and replaced with a smaller one. There were stools against the island now. The paintings I had once hung were gone and replaced with paintings of food. I kept looking around the house. Nothing was the same. Everything was changed. I sighed a bit but I was happy that he was finally happy with his home life. I walked to where the guest bedroom used to be and found some of my things that I had left sitting in a pile on the bed. I walked over to it and began to go through it. As I went through it I found things I had gave Spencer as gifts. I found old photos of us. Old stuffed animals. And then the worst part, our promise rings. My eyes filled with tears as I looked through everything. Spencer was in the main bedroom getting ready for bed. I closed the door and locked it. I noticed a box next to the bed and sighed. I began to put everything in the box. I then walked out of the room and grabbed the packing tap. It was right wear I had left it after I was done packing. I took it and walked back into the guest room. I taped the box shut and moved it by the door. 

I was laying in bed thinking to myself when I heard a faint knock. "Come in" I mumbled. Spencer walked in and saw the box, guilt and regret filled his eyes. He began to explain but I cut him off. "Don't okay? Now what brings you in here?" I  asked. "I-I uh was lonely and kept having nightmares, can I sleep in here?" He asked. I took a second to finally say my answer. "Yes, you can". He nodded and crawled into bed. I didn't stay too close to him at all. He soon fell asleep after a few minutes of us talking about random things. I sighed and finally closed my eyes. I felt a wave of tiredness run over me and suddenly I was asleep.

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I know that's not how I end my chapters a lot but it was already 1,509 words therefore I felt like I could end it happily.