Always//H.S. (Sequel to Alive)

closure

Yes, I got your letter
Yes, I'm doing better

guys i'm writing smut rn for later and BOY OH BOY

i've gotten better i stg this is holy water lord above good smut

anyway here you needy baes go

harry
(present day-february 19th 2018...12:48 pm)

"harry,"

my head snaps up when jeff calls my name from across the table, my hand grasping the bottle of water so hard in my hand i think it might explode.

"what did you say?" i mumble, shifting in my dining room table seat, and jeff huffs. "you need to focus, harry," he mumbles as he taps his pen against the table and i sit forward, running a hand through my long hair. "m' focusing," i say back, and he starts to talk again, me looking at him but not a single word was being put in my brain. i can only think about her.

she looked terrified of me.

the way she shot up on her feet and the way her eyes filled with tears that she tried so desperately to hide-but she cried and cried as she ran away. i felt like a monster. i felt like i had done something so bad that she couldn't even look at me or even process the fact that i was standing in front of her. it was almost like she was trying to pretend like i wasn't there. it was like i was some sort of plague that she was terrified of-i felt sick to my stomach at the thought of the way she looked. she looked absolutely gorgeous i'm every single way, but there will always be something i can tell about her.

her eyes tell me everything she won't.

i just wanted to talk to her. i just wanted her to know that it was okay to talk to me-and that i wasn't ever going to hurt her like that again. ever. even if we never talk again i just don't want her to think of me like a horrible person who let her go like i did.

"harry!" jeff's hand slams down onto the table and i jump, my bottle tipping over and slams on the floor as jeff fumes across from me. "i'm so fucking serious right now harry...give me one fucking hour to try and get into your thick scull and i'll leave you alone," he spits and it feels like a slap in the face, but i don't react in any way. "i'm sorry jeff-" he cuts me off before i can say anything.

"harry if you don't start a project in the next two months the team is going to have to let you go,"

i flinch at the words, them cutting deep into my soul with every single second and i can feel the way that i'll have to cover up the pain tonight. i put my head in my hands, pulling at my hair. "i'm sorry harry," jeff whispers and i shake my head, anger bubbling in my pores. "you don't fucking care about what the fuck is going on in my mind," i shake my head, standing from the table and jeff follows me. "i don't care? i've been begging and pleading with them to give you more time but there's nothing i can do anymore harry. we need to figure something out....or you're gone,"

i pick at my sore fingers, thinking to myself and the only thing i can think of is her. "i saw lila last night," i whisper, putting my head in my hands as i lean on the counter, forcing the emotions to go away. i won't let myself cry in front of jeff. he lets out a sigh, walking further into the kitchen. "i saw the pictures," he says and my head shoots up, standing up fully and he mumbles something under his breath before pulling out his phone, placing it on the counter. i grab it, and my whole body hurts at the pictures of her crying, her beautiful eyes leaking with tears that i caused.

i caused those tears.

"i can't keep defending your heartbreak harry...it's not in my control anymore," he says and i drop the phone down, my stomach churning and i feel as if i could get sick any moment with the way she looked. her hair was so beautiful-somehow even brighter in the front and it was shorter, settling perfectly on her shoulders. she had more tattoos that i could see, one wrapping around her wrist, others littered on her collarbone and arms. she looked so different. her legs looked stronger and toned, her arms strong and her waist tiny. she looked absolutely gorgeous in every fucking way.