How much can someone change in two years?
Two years after the horrid breakup between Lila Rose Sinclair and Harry Styles, the two haven't talked at all, but when Lilas star cosmetic company-a vegan and cruelty free line-gets the offer to do a colla...
This world is primal My grinding jaw The headache pill The necktie on my bedroom door My conscience burning My eyes are too Cuddled up with a heart condemned
H.
"when are we gonna talk about it?" i whisper to the small girl cuddled into my side, my hand smoothing her hair down, and she whined sleepily. "after sleep," her soft voice says into my arm, but i push the covers back, examining her thighs, seeing her head peek up to see what i was doing, and i slide my and down her thigh, my other hand between her thighs, holding her to me.
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"beautiful lila rose," i mumble to myself, pulling the covers back up after tracing every scar, memories of hotel rooms in the back of my mind. "what are we?" she whispers and i blink, looking down at her face, her eyes red with sleep and tears from just minutes ago when my body was against hers. "i asked you a question first," i say and she shrugs, resting her head on my chest again, closing her eyes as she talks. "pick at em' when m' nervous or something...don't actually harm anymore," she says, and my heart drops to my stomach at the realization that she doesn't get it. doing that is self harm, and so is completely ruining yourself at the gym until you faint. i wish she would see herself the way i have always seen her.
"v' gotta go for a run soon," she says, opening her eyes to glimpse at the clock, but i shake my head, smirking at her. "what, riding me and letting me fuck you wasn't enough?" i mumble and she chuckles, looking up at me, shrugging. "i like to push myself sometimes," before she can even finish the sentence im out of bed, pulling her with me, slinging her over my shoulder and i walk towards the bathroom as she just stays still, whining about her run, but there was no way in hell i was letting her go for a run today, especially since i can hear the way her stomach rumbles every few minutes. i set her on her bare bathroom counter, watching her beautiful ass in the mirror, turning and i start up the shower as she stays quiet, me walking back, starting to strip my boxers, and working on her bra.
"we're taking a shower and then ordering food...no arguing," i mumble and she rolls her eyes, looking at the wall past me, and i know what is exactly on her mind. "i dunno what we are, kid," i whisper and she looks up at me, raising her hands to put one on the side of my neck, the other twirling my curls. "i can't be with you, harry," she whispers and my whole world seems to grow dark, my body falling and i try my very very best to keep tears back as the thought of us never being like this again makes me feel sick. i can't be without her, even when i'm sleeping all i think about is my lavender, the calmest most beautiful girl and her blonde hair and big eyes, i can't be without my baby.
"we both have so much going on with Wildflower, a-and i don't want to be busy and have to be away and then it'll get bad again and you'll-," she stops herself when i kiss her, trying to tell her it's okay but in the only way i can think of right now. "we'll be friends that makeout....and fuck," i whisper, smiling softly and her shoulders settle, nodding and i pull her off the counter, finally ridding her bra and i raise my hands to her boobs, massaging them in my hands as she works on taking my hair out of its messy bun, trying to distract myself from the fact that she doesn't want me.
