Always//H.S. (Sequel to Alive)

roslyn

(i added the one hour version on here, please listen as you read)

this one's a rough one, hence the fact it took so long.

TW!!
suicidal thoughts

Don't let it fool you
Don't let it fool you
Down
Down's sitting 'round, folds in her gown

H.

"harry...harry wake up,"

i jolt awake when cold hands touch my bare chest, and i groan, trying to turn over but the same cold hands pull me back, and i groan again, opening my eyes and i blink rapidly when i'm met with her big blue ones, and they were filled with feet and red with loss of sleep. "what?" i mumble, rubbing my eyes, and she shifts on her feet, and i look around the room, seeing her dress on the floor and i flip down into the pillows, putting my face in my hands.

fuck, i forgot about that.

"we did it," she whispers and my eyes pop open to look at her, and her lips tremble, me sitting up fully, bringing the hotel blanket with me to keep my bare waist covered, and i noticed she had changed, dark leather pants on with a tight top, and she had no sense of romance in her eyes, like the way she looked at me yesterday, those submissive eyes, filled with need and lust for me, it wasn't romantic, but it was in a way that she needed me. i missed being the one she needed outside of the bedroom.

"fernando, he said yes," she says and my face breaks out in a smile, shivers running up my spine and i can see a glimmer in her eyes, but she doesn't smile, mine falling at the realization that she wasn't her, she was closed up again. "that's good, baby, m' glad to hear that," i whisper, reaching out for her waist and she steps back quickly, tumbling over her feet and i stare at her as her eyes seem to fill with tears, but she's so good at hiding them.

i don't know what i thought would happen after last night, i don't know what was going through my mind to possibly think that she would want me again, or that after yesterday she would've opened up more. it seems as if she doesn't care about anything but the fact that we fucked, no emotions in it at all, and the pain that flicks through me is so fucking bad i shiver. "lila?" i mumble as she heads towards the door, and she looks back at me slowly, shaking her head. "it was a one time thing. we're coworkers. nothing more, understood?" she says in the worst was possible and my face covers in disgust at the spite in her tone, but before i can say anything she leaves, and i just stare at the door she had just disappeared behind, and i feel my body slump in exhaustion. i thought we would be okay after that.

i stand from the bed, pushing myself to grab some boxers and pants before i walk into the bathroom, staring at the mirror, and i cringe at the sore hickeys on my neck and down my chest, and my eyes go fuzzy at the remembrance of the way she was under me, withering in pleasure and i huff as emotional stress slaps me in the face and in my dick, and i press my palms into the counter, biting my inner lip so hard i hope it bleeds. i missed her so much, and i had her back again and i messed it up. i know that fucking lila wasn't the best idea, but she's a drug to me, she's so fucking inviting and so fucking beautiful. i just wanted her to be mine again, even if it was just for the night.

i press my lips together and i curse myself for always crying over her, and i clench my fists so hard my nails dig into the palms of my hands, and i squeeze my eyes shut, hearing a knock on my door, and i quickly wipe my eyes, pulling on a shirt and i open the door, not looking up at her as she talks. "ready?" she whispers and i nod, not looking at her for even one second as i pass her by, and i hear her sigh behind me as i get into the elevator, closing the doors before she can get in, and i watch her face fall, catching those blue eyes before the door closes and my face scrunches up in a cry, furiously picking at the skin around my nails, tears streaming down my face when the lobby doors open and i wipe my face down, not wanting anyone to know that my heart was just broken for the hundredth time by the same girl.