Always//H.S. (Sequel to Alive)

waterfountain

Forgetting what she told me by the water fountain
Too young, too young
Too young, young
She couldn't be at home in the night time because
It made her feel alone but at that time she was too young

lila rose

(present day...february 23rd 2018 7:45 am)

"you've gotta let him in again, kiddo-"

"i'm not fucking letting him in again," i grumble as i feel the sand slip between my shoes as i try and keep my pace steady with gavins, him huffing and puffing as i stare ahead, shaking my head.

i had already given harry and easy enough time, and i've been kicking myself for it for two days. i know it was awkward as fuck, and i know i wasn't really doing what i needed to be doing, but i want to be nice. i just want to be there for him, and i know i can't do that.

"lila, you let him in a while ago. cant you do it again?" gavin heaves, stopping and putting his hands on his knees to catch his breath, me stopping and i sit down next to him, him quickly joining me. "it's different now, he left," i mumble and i hear him sigh, his eyes burning into the side of my head as i pick at the sand, getting it stuck under my nails.

"just because he left doesn't mean you can't trust him," he whispers and i shake my head, staring at the water. "yes it does. he left and it hurt me-it still does," i grumble back spitefully and he sighs again, bumping my shoulder with his. "you think clara and i didn't break up before we got married? we fought all the time and i left...but clara knew that person wasn't me, so she thankfully let me back in again," he says, and i see him glimpse at his phone, a picture of a big smiley pregnant clara his screensaver.

"i don't wanna give into him so fast...even today at our meeting i know i need to be more tough with him and keep our distance," i whisper and he frowns, me looking back at my feet and i shift in the hot sand, the way he said the name over and over again is throwing me a curveball and punching me in the head. "he called me l-lavender," i mumble, the name tasting like sweet chocolate in my mouth, and i can't help but huff at how happy it made me, even if i told him to not call me that. the look he gave me when i told him not to was a look of pain and regret, and there's a part of me that wished he felt that way about it, because he hurt me.

a lot.

"i don't want him to think he can just waltz back i to my life and make this so much more difficult for me to keep him away, i just want him to know what he did," i mumble, and gavin wraps his arm around me, watching the glittering tide as it brushes back and forth across the sand, pushing water towards us.

"don't let him get in the way of wildflower, kid...just let him in a little more,"

(later that day...3:40 pm)

"journee could you give the warehouse a call and see if they could jump in on a call with Jeff and harry in twenty?" i call out, brushing my sweaty hands on my dress and i hear journee yell a reply as i sit back in my seat, tapping my nails against the wood of my desk, and i look over to the picture of my sad, smiling at his gleeful face as i jump at the sound of the phone ringing.

"sinclair," i mumble, journee buzzing in the front door and i hear the warehouse managers explain the newest updates as they do every day, having to let someone go, and i sit at my desk, writing down every single word he says, just as the door softly opens, and Jeff and Harry walk in, delta hot on their heels and i talk quietly into the phone, telling Maxwell i would give him a call later, him sending me off to my meeting.

"hey," i huff, the two of them sitting down at the chairs beside my desk, harry dressed in a pair of black jeans and a bright blue hoodie was on his chest, jeff in slacks and a tee shirt. i have to admit to myself that i do miss who i was with him, the one who was attentive to his every move, and let him take control of me in every single way i could, i miss being that way. but now as i sit here i can feel the way that he just pulls me in at every single second.