i'll try to fix you | m.c.

twenty: mistakes

| sam's pov |

I started from the very beginning, I was nervous to tell him, he's was going to leave. I know he was.

"Well when you first left, I started dying my hair, and I went to more parties. I ignored all of my friends. Jessica invited me to one party, and there I met Katie, Sara and Nikki. Katie started me with drugs, she hooked me up one day and I got hooked. Fell in love with them, they were my only escape from you. When I took them the only thing that was hurting me was off my mind; you. You were out of my mind for a couple of hours and I enjoyed it. Weed suddenly become dull, I got bored. Cigarettes only calmed me, Jason was a friend of Kate's so I decided why not hit him up one day and just try something? Well I tried LSD and got addicted, same with Ketamoine. I inject Ketamoine and LSD comes in a pill. I did those plus weed, I drank everyday, Cigarettes I dunno I was fucked. A month before you came back I stopped the drugs, I needed too. Or else I'd become a druggie you know? I stopped and told Jason no longer to contact me. I didn't need drugs. Then when you came back, everything changed. Everything. You saved me Mike, you really did. I can't thank you enough, for coming back. But I dunno, you helped me but you also broke me a little more. Anyways I did LSD and Ketamoine one last time yesterday but I'm done so you don't have to worry about me anymore." I looked at Mike, and saw one thing I didn't want to see in his eyes, hurt and disappointment. I sighed and looked at my feet. After several minutes of complete silence, I knew I shouldn't have told him.

"Not being worried about you, is an understatement. I'm disappointed in you Sam. You were such a strong girl, and all because of me you made yourself into this lowlife, druggie. You were so amazingly strong and I looked up to you Sam. You were my best friend and I looked up to how strong you were, and now your weak, and sad. Why? Because of me? That's a bullshit excuse. I'm sorry I left you Sam, but I never expected you to stoop this low. I was broken too you know, but I didn't turn to this shit."

"Okay. I'm sorry."

"That's all you have to say to me? 'Your sorry'?"

"Yeah. You fucking destroyed me you asshole, and right now your being selfish so sorry I guess."

"You said I helped you right?"

"I guess.."

"I'm glad I helped." He got up and walked out of my house. I laughed, I knew this was going to happen. He always leaves. Why? He's a coward. I laugh because yet again he didn't fulfill his promise. He makes promises that he never seems to keep. I think about him for a second then blow him off. I never trusted him anyways, he will always be a coward and now I'm never going to forgive him for this.

He left before and broke my heart, but not again. This time I'm not going to let him in, no matter how hard he tries. I grab my hidden joint under my bed, and go to my bathroom and light it, it's the only thing that's keeping me sane right now.

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she's sad, he's being a dick ugh :-(