Fingers stained black

Chapter 15

Adora

When I woke up this morning, I did not expect that Brone would have changed our plans overnight. It had been almost twenty-four hours since I had my meltdown when I woke up. They exhaust me, as does talking to people. Except I can at least try to prevent those. I have to talk to people.

I had scrubbed at my body for half an hour trying to get all of the dried blood out of my fingernails. He had done a good job of it last night, but it was still deep under the bed of my nails. Trying to shower away all of the dirt that I felt on my body, my skin had turned pink by the time I had come out of the shower.

The sun was already past midway. While I was eating breakfast-lunch?- I had been informed by Penelope of the conversation my mother and Brone had and of the new arrangements for our travelling. I had slept most of the day away and was excited for curling up in a corner of the library until the stars came out. But, apparently that was not going to happen, and, instead, I was going to be stuck in a carriage for the next three hours.

The carriage arrangements are different this time. General Adamos is sat opposite us as we all participate in conversation. I do feel bad for what we are going to do to him in a few hours, but we really couldn't do anything about it. We have been travelling for the last two hours and we wouldn't be continuing with the plan for at least another hour. I can feel the heat radiating off of Brone and I am ashamed to admit that I am embarrassed of him seeing me in such a vulnerable situation last night, but he has been deferring any attempt that I made to coerce him into a real conversation. Instead, he talks only occasionally.

My mind runs through all of the possibilities of the reasons as to why he could be avoiding me, but I know that it is because of my little breakdown last night. There is no reason why he must continue in this courtship with someone so broken. I dread to imagine who my mother has chosen for me to marry; I am dreading their reaction to my episodes.

It is so un-cute.

"Oh, you two remind me just of me and my wife when we were young." General Adamos says, gesturing to the two of us and watching as the rolling hills pass by the window.

Brone chuckles and looks over at me, offering me a small smile before turning away again. Looking back at General Adamos, I see that he is looking at us again. Not being able to resist, I inquire after General Adamos and his wife. I have always loved hearing of others' love stories, whether it is because I am the future goddess of love, or because I crave the kind of love that I know my parents once had.

"She was the love of my life. We met when we were 16 and she was a nurse stationed at the battlefield that I was fighting at. She was betrothed, actually. But she ran from her wedding and we had a small cottage in the middle of the woods. I would go out and fight while she nursed my soldiers back to health." His once soft eyes become hard as he continues. "Until, one day, just after she had given birth to our son, they came for her. They killed her. And when I got to her, the only thing left was her bloody body and our little baby in her arms."

My breath catches in my throat at the end of his story. He doesn't talk anymore, and a pain in my heart grows for him. He went from a family of three to a family of two so quickly. I cannot even bear to look at him as wipes a treat from the corner of his eye.

"For what it is worth, I am sorry." I offer a small smile and spare a glance at Brone, who has been quiet throughout the whole exchange. He is looking at General Adamos with a strange look that I cannot quite decipher before he catches my gaze. Simply offering me a small, strained smile, he turns back to the window. We spend the next half an hour in quiet. No one talks, but it is not awkward.

Digging through the small bag that lays at my feet, I pull out a small container with cookies in it. Offering one out in silence, General Adamos takes one. He pats my hand before taking a large bite out of the cookie and admiring the flavour profile of the baked good. I watch as he starts to struggle to swallow, and, eventually, his eyes start to flutter closed. Stopping the carriage, we lay General Adamos out in a more comfortable position, and hop out of the carriage.