𝑼𝒔, 𝑹𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 - 𝑩. 𝑩𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒔

11 | 𝚛𝚞𝚕𝚎 𝚗𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚘

2023

Желание.
Семнадцать.
Ржавый.
Рассвет.
Печь.
Девять.
Добросердечный.
Возвращение на родину.
Один.
Товарный вагон.

Bucky spent a lot of time thinking about words. Words that so easily hurt. He never felt like he knew the right ones to say so that they wouldn't. Maybe that's why she left.

The sunset you could see from Bucky's lodging in Wakanda was one people could only dream of. He always had to remind himself it wasn't forever but it was so hard to when he would wake up in his little cot, with her beside him each morning. She had her own lodging but she barely used it. They gave up distancing themselves without a single word between them. She just kept coming to bed with him, loving him even when he couldn't speak a word that day. Then, she'd wake up in the morning and the day would start all over again.

He tried loving every minute of their time, and everything he learned about her. It was peace and it was free but gnawing at the back of his brain was the thought of a ticking time bomb. The appending collapse of their so fragile bond had Bucky feeling all sorts of dread. Who would speak first when it all came to an end? What words could he say?

He remembered. Marcella rolled over in the cot. Her body bare from the night, her eyes still closed. He smiled, looking at her. They only had a few moments in the mornings like this before the goats in the grass field outside would wake her and she'd scowl at them. That scowl would make him smile. The sun beamed down on her cheek, and the white line scar along the skin was evidence of how they found each other again. He touched it with his thumb and hoped to wake her in a better way than the goats. He leaned forward and kissed her forhead, then her nose, then her lips. And once he did, she kissed back. Already awake from the first touch.

"Acting like you're asleep again?" He asked and her eyes fluttered open. The dim green looking sharply at him.

"I like to feel you look at me." So quiet. She reached to the floor beside to cot and placed a berry from the basket she picked yesterday in her mouth.

He sighed, he couldn't resist. He kissed her again and again until he was laying her body over him and moving her hips intime with his. She sat back on him, feeling down his chest and his abs with her fingers. Her hips didn't stop moving, like they couldn't. Her lips parted and her sighs whispered out. She didn't have to be quiet. There was no one around but the goats but she always was here. He was too. They liked the peace. Her hips circled deeper and he helped her by guiding her hips with his hand. Squeezing into the flesh there. It made her whine and when he sat up and kiss her extended neck. The only time he wished he had that metal arm was in moments like this, so he could take over, make her loud. He liked to see her fall apart above him. Her eyes would close tight and her body would stutter and all that was left of her was his.

He missed those days. Simple days. Then the bomb went off and an unavoidable war came for him again. This time the Avengers lost to Thanos and Bucky was gone. He didn't remember it. Five years, they told him. In those five years she lost a lot of hope or so she said.

They were pardoned by the UN a month after his return and then she moved on without him. All those moments by the sunset of Wakanda were fading away. So much for, "Not without you."

"It's been five years, James." She let go of his hand after he tried to hold it that night outside the court house. Steve was gone, but Sam was waiting for them in the car. "I'm not the same and the world isn't the same anymore." She looked down at her shoes, unable to tell him what she needed too without feeling guilty. His anxiety peaked and his heart pumped loudly. "I have to figure it out." Alone, not together. She was running away, he thought. She never changed. "I can't be your escape and I can't hide in the dark anymore."