Once More With Feeling

.. When I See You Again

"Just remember that whatever happens, you're allowed to take your time to process it. And you can decide whether you want things to be like they were before or.. change. What happened this last week is.. valid, no matter who or what you'll find."

Maya hugged herself through the thick hoodie, raising an eyebrow at Grillby.

"You make it sound like I'm about to see a dead person or something."

It was meant as a joke, but when Grillby just looked off to the side instead of laughing, Mayas smile fell clean off her face and her heart stopped for a second.

She was out of the door before Grillby could finish his sigh.

.
.
.

Before she knew it, Maya stood in front of the backdoor, heart hammering in her chest.

'C'mon..'

Her hands were shaking and she couldn't find the strength to turn the fucking doorknob.

'You make it sound like I'm about to see a dead person or something.'

She only knew one dead person that Grillby would willingly let her go near, only one dead monster she could think of that would make him this confused, this.. unsure of how she would react.

Fuck this..

The weight in her chest returned full force, pressing her down, rooting her to the ground.

At the same time, hope gave her wings, calling to her in a sweet song, daring her to jump and fly.

'What if it was him on the other side of that door?', the sugary voice called out.

But-

'What if it's not?', the girl answered, not daring to give into the hope, afraid what would happen when she did and it all came crushing down on her, ripping away the very ground she stood on.

Because she needed that ground. She had lost too much already.

Maya stood there for what felt like ages, one shaky hand on the knob, the other fisted at her side, breathing unevenly.

This sucked.

Couldn't she get a break for once?

Maya cursed Grillby for not just telling her what was waiting for her on the other side of this stupid door that she Still Couldn't Bring Herself To Open.

Then again, this was Maya we're talking about and in the end, beneath all the anxiety, hesitation and fear, she was curious. Oh so fucking curious, that it overpowered everything else.

It forced her to slowly turn the doorknob, to take a deep breath.. and rip the door open.

Just like a band aid, fast and quick before she could chicken out again.

At first, she only saw the snow.

Then, she saw the monster, about as big as her, black and white fur, a green hoodie thrown over brown pants, no shoes.

And then the monster turned around and piercing yellow eyes connected with her own dull green ones.

And she couldn't breathe anymore.

Because fuck, she would recognize that yellow everywhere, filter it out between dozens of other colors, identify it wherever she went.

"Surprise!", his voice, his voice!, called out shakily. "I'm back from the dead."

Surprise. Surprise indeed.

Still in the doorway, Maya felt her knees gave out, disbelief and hysteria fighting for control in her chest, and grabbed the wood to keep herself standing.