I Won't Let You Go (Janoskians Fanfic)

Why am I so Hurt? ch 16.

"Should we tell them?" Tash whispered.

"Yeah I'll do it." He whispered back. This could NOT be good.

"Umm guys I have an announcement to make... Me and Tash are well... are going out.

I froze. I didn't know what to think. I was not so much shocked or even caught off guard, I knew it would happen but I just didn't want to admitt it to myself. I felt as if things were changing way to quickly and that the world had stopped and decided to start spinning the other way around. Thats exactly how things felt.. backwards.

Beau glanced over to me with a look of sorrow. I could see he was sad for me but I didn't want him to be hurt just because I was. Jai's head was down but his eyes were widened and his bottem lip croocked downwards. The tension in the room grew very awkward. I glanced up at Luke who was looking at every one but me. It was more like he couldn't look at me, as if he was sared to see my emotions seep out through me physically. Tash was just standing there looking down at the ground with her hand intwined with Lukes.

I immediantly stood up. The chair making a horrible scraping noise against the tiled floor seemed to be the loudest sound in the world right now. I looked around the table once more and took a deep breath. I was still frozen yet I was standing up and I felt as if i had no where to go. 

"Umm excuse me.. I just uh.. yeah." Was the only thing that escaped my mouth. I ran up the stairs and made my way into Beaus room. I slid down against the wall and wrappen my arms around my knees. Tears ran down my face but there was just too many things going through my head for me to notice that i was even crying.  Why was I feeling like this? I don't love Luke in that way.. But then why am i so confused? Beau bursted into the room and sat down next to me. He wrapped his arms around me rocking me back and forth.

"Beau.. Why am I so upset?" It seemed like a stupid question but even I didn't know the answer.

"You're confused."

"But it's my emotions.. there should be nothing confusing about it." I sobbed.

"Madds, nobody is worth your tears." He said while wiping my tear stained face.

---------- Beau's POV-----------------

I stared into her deep brown eyes trying to read her emotions. I just wanted her to know that She wasn't the only one who was hurt...

"Ok, If i can't admitt it to myself the I'll admitt it to you.. I'm.. I am in love with Luke." Those words made my ears ring like crazy. But It didn't shock me.. I just didn't want to admitt it.

"... I know." I tried to hold back my tears and only just managed to do it. If it was one thing that I could do that Maddi couldn't, it would be that I can admitt my feelings to myself and I wont stay in denial.. I will just accept it because I feel it for a reason, and everything happens for a reason. The truth was that I was in love with her. Whenever she was hurt, so was I and I was always the shoulder that she would cry on. I don't know when I realised that I loved her. I had always thought that her and Luke would turn out to be more then just friends but ever since things started to go wrong I had that small part within me saying that there was still a chance. Of course I couldn't tell her how I felt.. She was already to confused as it was and Luke is an idiot for letting her go.

We sat there for what seemed like hours and it was getting pretty late.

"C'mon, I'll take you home." I helped her up and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. She was still crying and It pained me to see her like this. The car ride was silent, not awkward but just silent. I made sure she got into her house ok and headed back home.

I unlocked the door silently as I didn't want to wake any one up. 

"SHHHH Mum's asleep!" Jai whispered.

"Well then turn the tv off and go to bed." 

"Yeah ok whatever.."

"Is Tash gone?"

"Yeah, Luke is still up in his room probably texting her." Jai said sleepily as he made his way into the bathroom.

I made my way upstairs and into the twins room. Luke was smiling like an idiot texting away as per usual.

"How could you.." I croaked.

"What?.."

"Just sit there and smile away as if everyone is ok."

"I think I have a right to be happy.."

"Oh and Maddi doesn't?"

"Why do you care so much? And why should she care so much?"

"Because.. Because She loves you Luke!" It slipped out.. 

"W-what.." Luke sat up as if he had just seen a ghost.

"Come on Luke! As if it wasn't obvious. And don;t even try to hide your feelings for her.. I know you love her back."

"Well.. I'm with Tash now.."

"Yeah smart move.. You're an idiot for letting her go and don't be suprised if someone snatches her up because you lost your chance."

"You Love her don't you." Luke had an expression on his face that I had never seen before and I couldn't quite make out what he was feeling.

"I-I-I dunno." Was all that I managed to say.

"Face it Beau.. All she sees you as is a friend.. A big brother or even just a shoulder to cry on. You're are nothing in her eyes compared to me."

He was right. He was more then right he was absoloutly correct. Lukes statement didn't make me hate him.. Because what he said was true. I am nothing.

"Well then why did you let her go?" I asked".

"Because.. I'm just as confused as she is. I don't want her to know that I have mixed feelings for her and I'm not going to admitt to myself that she loves me.."

"Why? Because you can't handle it? Because YOU made a big mistake? Let's face it Luke.. You don't deserve her!" I yelled.

"What's going on here?" Mum said rubbing her eyes trying to adjust to the light.

"Nothing. Luke just Lost something and He is scared that I will find it before he has the chance to." I mumbled. Mum looked very confused and I don't blame her. Mum just slowly walked back downstairs and went back to bed. 

I on the other hand couldn't sleep and I'm sure that Maddi as well as Luke couldn't either. Jai on the other hand was head over hills in love with Nicole and every time I see them together I picture myself and Maddi. My feelings don;t so much confuse me.. They hurt me.

Hay guys!! I almost have 2,000 reads WOW!! I hope it's not dragging on too much but I hope youlike the drama! OHH yeah and now im gonna start putting in song suggestions so there is going to be a youtube ling on the side with a song that goes with the chapter so you can listen to the song while reading or whatever :D but yeah!! pleeeaassseee vote and comment!

(I changed my twitter name) @janaawwskians

ask me stuff! http://ask.fm/MaddiJanoskianator

facebook: http://www.facebook.com/maddi.cicchini

The song is "A drop in the ocean" By Ron Pope.