MAKE ME STAY (MAKE ME GO BOOK ll)

Make Me Stay : Thirty Two

Mina

I was brought to reality after thinking of Chaeyoung when I felt a hand wiped something on my cheeks.

"You're crying again, Mina. Hey, you know what.. I could still remember the first time I wiped your precious tears away during Nayeon and Jeong's wedding. I wonder how many more times I'm gonna wipe away those tears that Chaeyoung always gives you. I wonder how many more words I'd tell you just to make you feel better. Mina, I wonder how and when are you going to see your worth.."

"Unnie.."

"I am always aware that you love that kid more than anything else, even more than your life and that saddens me. I asked you how much do you love Chaeyoung not because I'm oblivious about it, I asked that because I want you to realize that you've been loving her more than you should. Mina, loving someone too much isn't a good thing. It's actually depressing and do you know why?.."

I heaved a painful sigh and shake my head as my tears kept streaming down my face.

"It's because loving someone too much makes you forget to love yourself"

"Myself?"

"Yes, Mina. We sometimes forget to love and know our worth when we tend to love someone too much. We don't care whatever pain, hardships and agony that person may give us because we're too blinded by the love we are giving them while totally forsaking our own self. We endlessly bear the pain they give. We even tolerate them and their actions. We beg. We hope. We do things for them until there's nothing left for us and that's how we began forsaking ourselves. We're slowly destroying ourselves while we were building them.."

Another tear escaped my eyes as her words keep on playing inside my head. Did I really forget to love myself while loving Chaeyoung? Am I that too harsh and cruel to my own self?

"Unnie, Is it really wrong to love her?"

"Of course not. There's nothing wrong about loving her, Mina but when you start loosing yoursef in the process then there's something wrong about it. Love supposed to bring out the best in you and in your partner, not the other way around"

Every words that came from Jihyo unnie just said made me realize things I haven't even realize before. I started to ponder things slowly and tried to recall everything that happened between me ang Chaeyoung lately

The unending fights and misunderstandings. The tears and pain. The anger and insecurities. The cold sleepless nights and all the nights that we spent apart. The feeling of betrayal and the betrayal itself.

It's toxic, our love has now turned into toxic one

Our love has now turned into a big mess that we couldn't even fix. We're now nothing but a mess that keeps on trying so hard to do things our selfish hearts desires.

I selfishly desires for a complete family while she selfishly desires to reach her goals and dreams. She cheated and I lied. We kept secrets to one another. We're both eaten by our own selfish desires not realizing our hands were slowly slipping away. We're both on own.

I finally began to realize things but after realizing every little thing, I found out that no matter what happens, I still don't wanna lose her.

"Unnie..what should I do now? I don't really wanna loose her. I really love Chaeyoung so much.."

"Mina, Love doesn't always means holding on sometimes it also means letting go"

"But I don't wanna let her go, unnie. I want her to stay with me"

"What if she don't want to? I'll just remind you that she's literally asking for a divorce, Mina. "

"Then I'll force her to stay-"

"Mina, don't force her to stay just because you wanted her to, that's selfishness. Let her decide. You don't have to force her, she'll stay if she really wanted to in the forst place"

"but-"

"Mina, Love is not forced, it's a freewill"

-----

After few days of sleepless nights, I finally came back to my senses thanks to the love and support of everyone around me. Their words and advices do helped me a lot. It made me realize so many things but I'm still against the idea of having a divorce with Chaeyoung

My mom already knew about it and at first, she was so upset at Chaeyoung but in the end, she still chose to let me and Chaeyoung handle everything just like our friends did. I'm so happy that somehow, they're all trusting me and Chaeyoung to handle about this matter even though they're so mad and upset at Chaeyoung

Jeongyeon unnie, Jihyo unnie and Tzuyu already had a word with Chaeyoung but they all said one thing-

She's stubborn

I know she is. Chaeyoung really is stubborn especially when it comes to personal matters. No one can change her mind when she already made her decision. It's final and it's always unbreakable

A gentle knock on the door followed by a sweet voice interrupted my deep thoughts, it's mom

"Sweetie, here's a phone call for you from the Hospital"

Hospital? What it is about? Why would they even call all of a sudden?

I politely answered the call and was surprised to find out that the call was about me having a cornea surgery the day after tommorrow. The news gave me mixed emotions. I'm happy of course because it's what I've been waiting for but my heart also shattered to pieces because of one certain person

Eunha..

Having scheduled for a surgery only means that Eunha already passed away and that literally weakened my knees and made me collapsed. I quickly end the call and promised to call back again because I can't handle my emotions anymore

"Sweetie, what happened?"

My mom quickly assisted me and made me sit back on my bed before telling her what the phone call was about.

"Aren't you supposed to be happy? Finally, you had a donor sweetie, you should be happy but why do you looked like you've just lost someone?"

"B-because I just did, mom.."

"What do you mean, sweetie?"

Oh, I totally forgot. Mom didn't know anything about Eunha being my cornea donor. All she knows was Yuna's real mother is Eunha and now, I think it's time for her to know about who really Eunha is

"M-mom.."

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Eunha is actually my cornea donor and now she's gone,mom. S-she's gone.. "

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Almost done..
Stay safe 'n happy everyone.
Stream 'the feels'
Lovelots yawa'll🥰🖤