MAKE ME STAY (MAKE ME GO BOOK ll)

Make Me Stay: Fourty Three

Mina

Chaeyoung's eyes were full of tears as soon as I laid my gaze on her after I decided to break from her warm embrace. She's smiling but her eyes were screaming sadness and pain.

"Chaeyoung, what do you mean?"

"I am leaving, Mina"

Her words shocked me. Of all the things that she'd be saying to me in this moment, this isn't what I am expecting for.

"W-what do you mean..leaving?"

"I'm leaving, Mina. In fact, I just wanted to say goodbye to you.."

My tears started to fall as soon as my mind processed all the information that she just said but I don't know how I should react. I'm shocked and I'm so speechless. I can't even move a muscle. It's as if the world suddenly stopped, my world suddenly stopped.

"C-Chaeyoung, w-why?"

"Listen to me, Mina. All my life, I hated love. I hated affection. I hated commitment. I hated everything but brcause of you, I learned how to love. I learned how to show affection and I learned to accept commitments.  Sadly, I have to let go those things. I have to do this and let go of you not because I don't love you anymore but because I love you so much. I lov you so much that I'm willing to do this for you, for us. Mina, it'll be the best for both of us.."

"C-Chaeyoung, please don't. P-Please, stay and I gurantee you that I'll do everything—"

"Mina, I know you're willing to do anything for me. You always puts me first while forsaking yourself. You always made sure I'm doing fine without knowing you're actually the one who's not. You've done so much for me but I still chose to break your heart and I hate that. I hate myself for hurting you in many ways. I really wanted to stay but staying won't make it even better for us. We both need some time, Mina. Time to think, time to heal. Time to forgive and if we can, maybe some time to forget"

"But Chaeng. I don't need those things. All I need is you, here beside me.."

"We can never acquire what we always wanted and sometimes, it helps us, Mina. It helps us grow and teaches us to wait until the time is right and besides You need those things as much as I do.."

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down but the words that were coming from her mouth hurts me all over again. I wanted to tell her what's in my mind. I wanted to beg and let her stay but as soon as I opened my eyes and looked at her, there I realized that she already made up her mind and that only means I can't do anything to make her stay anymore.

She had already decided.

"Chaeyoung, you're coming back again right?"

"Honestly, I'm planning to leave for good but I know someday my heart will long to come back where it truly belongs."

"Does that mean you're going to come back?"

"I don't want to give you false hopes 'cause I am actually planning not to but then if one day, our paths crossed again once more and we still shares the same feeling then I'll be happy to go back home with you."

"Then, I'll wait for you, Chaeng. I'll wait for that time—"

"Don't, just please don't. I'm not leaving just to make you wait. Please, love yourself and choose yourself this time. Be happy and let go all the things that hurt you and made you cry. Let go of me, Mina and be happy without me.."