Falling to Flying

Chapter Eighteen- Ignored Holidays and Camping Trips

It had been four days since that night, and today was the first day I was going to work.

The first time I would see him.

Mel and I had an understanding- I don't talk about Luca, she doesn't talk about Neil. In all honesty, I had no idea where we stood after that night. I mean, I went to bed with puffy eyes, sobbing into the arms of Mel while she shushed me and hugged me tight, which was ironic because it was supposed to be her night to cry- not mine. Yet, I was the one who felt like the butterflies had died right there in my stomach when he yelled at me. But that didn't keep me from checking my phone every minute for the past four days.

I was hurt- really really hurt. But I miss him. And we both said things we didn't mean.

So, here I am. Standing in front of my long mirror fixing my messy ponytail of waves and triple checking my makeup because even if I didn't know where we stood, I found myself silently wishing it was still somewhere close to that boy. With a stomach filled with nerves, I straightened my black sweater and grabbed my boots and coat. I began trudging my way through the dorms and onto the sidewalk of main straight, trying to ignore all of the Christmas lights and bustling of people that painfully reminded me of the atmosphere filled with couples.

I began to panic as I weaved through shopping bags and tried to keep the falling snow out of my eyes, because I began to think of him some more.

Nothing. Nothing at all.

He had said it with such finality. I tried to reassure myself that this was Neil I was doubting. This is the guy who poured syrup on me, he's the one who always cooks me eggs and bacon, and rubs my head when I have a hang over. He's the guy that brought me to a used book store for a date and made me eat snail as a joke. I mean, this is Neil. He's the one who was there for me- with being attacked, with being disowned, with everything.

However, as I made my into the shop I felt like I was going to throw up.

"Hey Mason," I tried to act normal.

"Oh thank god you're here. We've been swamped," he groaned, looking at me in relief.

"Well, isn't Neil here?" I asked cautiously.

Mason stopped whipping the white fluffy cream and turned to look at me with surprise.

"He didn't tell you?"

I felt my heart stop beating as I uttered, "Tell me what?"

"Ana, Neil quit three days ago. Said something like he needed some time for himself and wanted to try something new or something like that. I don't know, but Cara is pissed. We have to find another manager and for him to leave..."

I stopped listening to his explanation as the realization of what Mason said really hit me. There was one thought that kept repeating in my head over and over as I monotonously hung my coat and put on an apron, trying to keep my face expressionless. He had left. Completely moving on with his life as if we- as if I was nothing.

Nothing at all.

***

The days had turned into weeks the weeks flew by quickly and before I knew it, I was sitting in Mel's childhood home on Christmas morning.

She wouldn't allow me to stay home for the holiday's, so I came with her to visit her parents.

"Merry Christmas!"

I turned and saw Mel's parents, Ellie and Dave, bounding down the stairs as I sat on the couch.

"Merry Christmas," I smiled back at them.