Falling to Flying

Chapter One- The Grocery Store is Always a Bad Idea

“Alright. Get up, you stink like shit and you look like troll,” Melissa threw my comforter off my bed and began hitting my face with a pillow.

“Wha- ow!  Mel, stop! Stop it!” I sat up and glared at my best friend. Without missing a beat her fiery green eyes glared right back at me.

“I’m starting a shower and you better be in it within the next three minutes or else I swear I will call Luca and have him put his bugs all over you,” she threatened. After pointing the pillow at me with the glare of promise she walked out of my room. I sighed after a minute or two and began making my way towards the sound of water running. Mel’s eyes softened as she took in my state of existence. Because that’s what it was right now; I was just barely existing.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” she began helping me undress as if I was a toddler.

“I’m not a child, I can take care of myself,” I snapped.

“Oh can’t you?” she snapped right back. “It’s been a month and a half of you doing nothing but sleeping and barely eating.” I stiffened as she threw her hands in the air.

 “I mean, what am I supposed to do? Let you waste your life away sleeping and watching movies!?” I closed my eyes and clenched my fists. “I know you’re trying to cope but Jesus Christ, Ana. At least let me take care of you,” her voice began to crack and her tough façade began to wither. “Let me help you,” she sighed.

It was quiet for a moment with neither of us breathing, just the sound of water hitting the floor of the tub. I clenched my fists after a moment of thinking and cleared my throat before I mumbled a soft, “okay.”

Mel nodded at my reply and sternly said, “Arms up.” After I stood in nothing but a sports bra and panties she declared, “I’m making a grilled cheese and you’re eating it,” with a look in her eyes that held no room for argument.

I nodded and turned away from her, completely undressing myself. After I heard the click of the door I looked at my reflection in the mirror and almost fell over at what I saw. I still had the same long dark brown hair as before; it was just disgustingly oily and looked like a bird’s nest. My birthmark was still on my collar bone and my figure was the same; accept for my ribs that were poking out more than usual. This was most likely the reason why Mel practically threatened me with a cheese sandwich. However, the startling change was my eyes. My father used to say,” You have the type of brown eyes boys write songs about.” But now, they just looked cold. Distant. The dark rings that hung around them made me look sallow. I looked like a sleep deprived zombie even though I had been doing nothing but hiding in my unconscious these past months.

Melissa was right. I need to try to get back to normal. I need to start trying to get my life back. I may not be able to move on but I sure as hell need to try keep moving somewhere with my life. With this newfound determination I got in the shower and scrubbed myself clean with the plan of eating a grilled cheese for dinner and pretending that everything was okay.

***

After the watchful eyes of Melissa, I ate my dinner which consisted of Campbell’s tomato soup and a slightly burned grilled cheese, but I didn’t mind. However, after about seven minutes of her insistent staring I awkwardly cleared my throat. She jumped a little and said, “Sorry I just forgot how pretty you looked with clean hair.” With a glare from me and a smirk from her, she then decided to announce it was time to go grocery shopping.

“No.”

“Ana, yes. We have no food-“

“Then go get some,” I said.