Not Over You ~ Quinton Griggs

CHAPTER 20

Today was not a good day
A terrible day infact
I'm hating liferight now
I feel depressed
And I really have no idea why I thought things were good quinton likes me and my musics going good and modeling but I just feel off
Jaden took away my vapes and I'm not allowed to drink
I guess it's easier to not drink when you don't live with a alcoholic
I don't feel myself without it tho
I got out of my bed my tear stained eyes
It was probably 9 am
I went to jadens room and snuck under the covers beside him
Jaden: mm what
He groaned
Me: jae
Jaden: brie what are you doing in here
Me: nothing
Jaden rolled over
Jaden: have you been crying yea your cheeks are wet what's wrong
Me: nothin I just need my brother
Jaden: what's up brie
He opened up more aware now pulling me into a hug
Jaden; you can tell me cmon
Me; I don't really know what's wrong I just started crying
Jaden: obviously somethinn caused it
Me: yea but if I say it a hundred more things are gonna come out with it
Jaden; that's ok we haven't talked in a while
Me: I don't know what's wrong I feel weird
Jaden: why do you feel weird
Me: I just I hate getting up in the morning or like everything I hate tiktok and I hate Instagram and I hate people and I hate modeling and and I hate music and I hate talking to people and I hate being addicted to shit
Jaden: wow ok well tell me why
Me: people are so fucking mean and I just wanna break from people talking shit about me even when I wasn't famous that's all they did
Jaden: well when someone talks about you they're just jelous
Me: but it's not just that nobody likes who I am or how I am I'm not skinny enough or I'm too fat or I'm ugly or I Drink to much or I vape or smoke to much
Jaden: I'm sorry brie I was only doing it so you don't get reliant on it
Me: it's not your place and sometimes I just wanna die instead of deal with it and with everything the only thing that helped was smoking and drinking
Jaden: because it'll help until you don't realize it's killing you
Me: so everyone dies
Jaden: I don't wanna outlive my little sister brie
Me: you probably will get over it
Jaden: you can't hate me for caring about you brie
Me: I can hate you fro trying to be my mom just let me live
Jaden: I want you to live and have fun but not at the cost of your life
Me: gimme my vapes back and let me be
Jaden: I'll give them back if you show you can go a hour without it but you won't get the weed back
Me: fine I'm leaving your pissing me off
I got up and went to Quinton's room
He was luckily still in his bed
I shut the door bringing his attention my direction
Quinton: oh hey brie
Me: hey
Quinton: what's up
Me: the sky
I wiped my eyes
And laid down beside him
He laughed a little
Quinton: I meant what's up with you
Me: nothing
Quinton: something or you wouldn't be crying your eyes are red
Me: yea
Quinton: so why are you crying
Me: I don't know I don't feel good
Quinton: if your sick go to the bathroom
Me: no I'm not sick you wouldn't understand so I don't know why I'm in here
Quinton: well why are you in here what wouldn't I understand b
Me: I don't know I don't know why I'm in here either
Quinton: I think you know why your in here
Me: yes but it's hard to say
Quinton: tell me in my ear
Me:mnm
Quinton; come on
Me: you just make me feel normal
Quinton: normal
Me: like a normal person
Quinton: what's that
Me: like ya know a normal kid that goes to school every day and hates it and has like five crushes lives in a real house and can drive and there parents are cool and there brother minds his buisness
Quinton: I have nothing to do with that
Me: yea but you did atleast when we were like together and stuff you remember our first date
Quinton; yea on tour and we snuck out of the hotel
Me: mhm
Quinton: what about it
Me: it felt regular didn't it like your a real kid not a famous person millons of people watch everyday
Quinton; yea
Me: I miss it Dont you
Quinton; yea but why would you be crying over that
Me: ionknow but I feel like different than I was then
Quinton: why are you different
Me: I was like 15 then barely
Quinton: that doesn't make you different
Me: yea but I grew up and we broke up and i started smoking and drinking and partying and trying to prove to people that I wasn't a kid because everyone out here is so grown
Quinton; that's why your different
Me: I guess I miss who I used to be tho
Quinton; who'd you used to be brie cuz the Brie I remember was always like this
Me: don't say that I hope not
Quinton: what was the old you then
Me; Like young me with a million friends and 500 thousand followers and back when I was in tennesse it was cooler relaxed
Quinton: all I heard was friends and followers life's not really about that
Me; I know
Quinton: how many friends you have or followers or where you live doesn't change you
Me; la does
Quinton; ok but why are you different inside
Me; I don't know I shouldn't have came here
Quinton; yes I'm glad you came in here I like talking to you now talk to me
Me: I can't talk to you quinton maybe if we were different but we aren't
Quinton; what
Me: we aren't anything we aren't friends or dating or really exes or talking or nothing we're just people that hooked up a few times when I thought I was gay
Quinton: how do you say we're nothing
Me: because we fucking aren't q
Quinton: yes we are
Me: no you can say you like me or I like you but it means nothing
He kissed me very deeply and passionately and
Boy it was great
He pulled away just as I was wanting more
Quinton; we aren't nothing brie I like you i like you a whole fucking lot
My stomach shrunk in my body
Me: I like you too
My eyes shot from
His left to his right to his lips his left his right his lips god
I want him
Me: I'm sorry I don't wanna be nothing quinton I really really really like you and sometimes I say that so I don't think about you forever and I know you have Cynthia but
Quinton; I don't have Cynthia and I don't want Cynthia I want you
Me; I want you
Quinton: then let's go on a date brie
Me; really
Quinton; mhm keep saying we're nothing
Me: really a date
Quinton; nope
Me: like today
Quinton; no next month yes tonight
Me: are you sure
Quinton: oh my god brie go get ready
Me: ok ok
I jumped up
Me: wait
I kissed him
Oooo
I went to my room
And started getting ready
What's on my bed
My vapes omg
And a note
Please try to quit lyn I love you so much and we should talk more often. Um chill on the drinking please love jae
My brothers a wuss
I got ready in this