Not Over You ~ Quinton Griggs

CHAPTER 78

We sat in the hospital
While Mason sat in a bed playing with his toys

The doctor just told us
That his tumor is cancerous
And we need to remove it as soon as possible
Absolutely ruining my life
How the fuck am I supposed to drive home knowing my baby has a cancerous tumor in his brain
I wiped my eyes looking up
Me: Mason, are you ready to home
Mason: yeah mama
Me: okay come here
I got up and lifted him up and held him in my arms
Me: um I can take you home
I looked at quinton
Quinton: yeah thanks
We went out to the car and I buckled him in his seat
And got in the car seat

Shit
I drove home
Mason: mama I'm hungry
Me: we're about to be home baby
Mason: otay
We got home and I took him inside

Me: I'm gonna make you some Mac and cheese okay
Mason: okay
Me: sit tight
I kissed his head and went to the kitchen
And I started the water

Crying inside out
I should've just killed myself so long ago

Quinton: hey you okay
Oh my god
Me: no none of this is okay
I slipped tears down my face
I stood up

And just hugged him
His arms moved around me
And I let go
I cried so hard
His body muffled the sound
Quinton: brie it's okay
Me: no it's not it's all my fucking fault

His hand held my head holding me tight
It felt so right
Being here with him

I let go and finished cooking his food
Nessa: hey everything good I just heard y'all
Me: yeah
Quinton: his thing is uh cancer
Nessa: what!
Quinton: yeah
Nessa: what the hell are they gonna do
Me: I think we're removing it but it's already making him sick

Nessa: oh my gosh
Me: yeah
I put him a bowl of macaroni and gave it to him
Mason: thank you mama
Me: your so welcome baby
I kissed his head
And went to the kitchen

He finished his food and brought me the bowl
He's so cute
Mason: here mama
Me; thank you mase
Mason: you welcome
Me: hey, mase do you wanna get a haircut
Mason: no!
Me: I think you'd look super cool with a mohawk
Mason: a mohawk

Me: your hair would be short around here and cool and long in the middle
Mason: ew mommy no
Me: well you have to get a hair cut baby
Mason: why
Me: cause your hairs getting too long
Mason: nooo
He argued for a while until finally he gave in and I put him to bed
Presley: mama I miss you
Me: I missed you too baby
Presley: why Mason go
Me: masons tummy hurts we had to go help him feel better
Presley: can my tummy hurt too
Me: no no no baby you left tummy feels good okay, if your tummy hurts tell mommy or daddy
Presley: otay
Me: I love you so much baby
Presley: I luv you mama
Me: okay let's brush our teeth
I gave her her little tooth brush and she brushed her teeth
Me: smile
She turned to me and smiled
Me: okay let's go to bed

We laid in her bed together and I read her a story
Presley: night night mama
Me: goodnight angel
I kissed her head and got up
Going outside
I found Quinton smoking
Me: what are you doing
Quinton : just trying to take my mind of things
I sat with him
Me: after you made me go sober
Quinton : yeah well shit happens
He handed me the cigarette
And I smoked it before handing it back
Me: I'm sorry for doing this to you, you shouldn't have to go through it
Quinton: it's our kid it's fine
Me: no it's not if I wasn't high as fuck the first 3 months of his life he would be okay like presley is
Quinton : you don't know that, and you can't say that you didn't know you were pregnant
Me: if had just died that night none of this would happen he wouldn't be dealing with this you wouldn't be, I wouldn't be
Quinton: so you regret everything after that
Me: I just wish I didn't do this to him if it had worked everything would be better you'd be better instead of smoking over our kids cancer
Quinton: I don't regret you not dying brie or us having them
Me: I do
Quinton: well that's sad
He passed the cigarette back

Me: I'm sorry for just everything Quinton you didn't deserve what I did to you
Quinton: what'd you do
Me: hitting you and yelling and kicking you out
Quinton : are you trying to say I didn't deserve any of that after I cheated on you
Me: still
Quinton: I deserved that Brie all of it I deserve this I was a asshole I hurt you I left my kids and then he gets cancer it's exactly what I deserve
Me: no
I pulled my knees up passing it back
Me: I wish it was me instead or you or Nessa or any one else he's a baby he doesn't deserve it he doesn't understand it he didn't do anything wrong
Quinton: yeah
Me: so I know it's my fault alll the shit I did how I acted to people is coming back
Quinton: brie it's not your fault
Me: it's not yours it's definitely not his whose fault is it then
Quinton : it is my fault I messed up too many times 
Quinton: I hurt you  I know you don't wanna say it but I did and I was a shitty dad to them
Me: no you weren't
I looked at him
Quinton: yeah and we broke up hard it wasn't right I just fucked up I ruined our family
Me: it's okay though
Quinton : he still cries at my house he wants us to be a family that's all he ever asks every night
Me: he says that to me too so don't think he knows it's your fault
Quinton: it is my fault and I feel bad I took that from him
Me: Quinton its okay
Quinton: no it's not I feel bad
Me: I have moved on and forgiven you I don't hold that above you i promise
Quinton: yeah but that doesn't make them happy they want one family together and they'll never have that because of me
Me: q they're fine I promise
Quinton : no
He looked at me and before I could do anything
He kissed me
Mmm
I missed his lips

I miss our family I want it back so badly too

I pulled away
Me: Quinton
Quinton: no I'm sorry
Me: quinton just , what do you want
Quinton: I want you back brie I want our family again

He looked around my face
And I kissed him again

Quinton : is that, something you want
I nodded

And he kissed me back

Me: Quinton, I
I pulled away
Me: I love you Quinton I know you don't love me-
Quinton : brie shut up
He kissed me

The best kiss ever
Mason: MOMMY!
Fuck

I moved quickly seeing Mason holding his stuffed elephant
Mason: what happen to daddy
He came closer
Oh god
Mason: mommy and daddy kissing
He smiled
Me: no no Mason daddy ate all Your Mac and cheese so he was in trouble
Mason: oh otay
Me: what's wrong Mason
Quinton : what happened buddy
Mason: my bed is nasty
Quinton: why buddy
Me: what's on your shirt
Mason: my tummy hurt mama and I throw up
Me: you threw up?
Mason: uhuh you wasn't in your room mommy
Me: I know come on let's clean you up
I got up and picked him up
And went to my room
I gave him a bath
Quinton: I'm gonna clean his bed

Me: ok thank you
I ran him a bath and he sat in it
Me: does your tummy hurt now?
Mason: no

Me: good
Mason: mommy
Me: yes baby
Mason: are you and daddy going to be a family again
Me: we're always a family Mason me and you and daddy and Presley
Mason: like a real family mama
Me: maybe, me and daddy just want to give you and Presley the best don't you want all the best toys and food and love
Mason: yes
Mason: is daddy gonna live with us again
Me: maybe if daddy can afford it
Mason: why not I let him here for free mommy
Me: yes but daddy's really busy and mommy's busy too
Mason: I want daddy to live here too
Me: I'll ask him okay
Mason: okay
I got him out of the bath
Mason: can I sleep with you and daddy
Me: well daddy's not sleeping here
Mason: pleaseeeeee
Me: okay but if you get to then presley gets too
Mason: ok I go out my pjs on
Me: good boy make sure daddy sees your clothes first
He ran to the bathroom
And I went to presleys room
Sleeping so cute
I brushed her nose gently waking her up
Presley: mama

Me: hi love, do you want to come sleep with mommy and daddy and Mason
Presley: yes
I picked her up and went to the bedroom
Quinton: hey I'm gonna head out
Me: oh Mason just asked me if you'd sleep here with him
Quinton : oh
Me: it's fine I'll tell him you had a emergency
Quinton: no I'll stay

We all got in bed together and fell asleep