𝐒𝐓. 𝐆𝐄𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄 𝐈𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃, b.

𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

❝𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐠𝐮𝐧❞

𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐣𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝟓𝐭𝐡, 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟖

"you're putting too much thought into it, relax," jahseh told me as he readjusted my hand on the gun for the fiftieth time.

"this shit is hard, what do you expect?"

"you're making it hard. keep your finger on the trigger, aim, pull the trigger. seems pretty simple to me. and stop taking your other hand off the gun, we're not there yet," he said, putting my left hand back on the gun, so that i was holding the gun with both hands and had a firm grip on it.

"this is annoying." i groaned in frustration.

"teaching you is annoying," jahseh fired back.

"stop flirting!" kaydence said loudly. jahseh shot him a dirty look and kaydence quickly shut up. jahseh pointed to my target, a mattress with a human figure drawn on it.

"just pull the trigger. the more you think about it, the harder it will be."

i took a deep breath and calmed myself, making sure to keep my eyes on the target as i pulled the trigger.

the gun went off and the loud sound startled me, making me drop the gun. jahseh quickly caught it before it fell to the ground.

"try not to drop the gun, because there's a high chance that it could go off," jahseh said. "bullets don't have names, be careful please."

"my bad," i said.

jahseh came behind me and placed the gun back in my hands, shaping my hands around the gun until he was satisfied.

"i cannot stress enough how much goes into shooting a gun. more often than not, when you're in a position where you have to shoot a gun, you're not going to have a clear mind or a level head. you won't have time to think or strategize, you'll only have time to act. sometimes you'll have to shoot on impulse. one shot could be the difference between you or the opposition. shoot."

i pulled the trigger and the kickback from the gun almost made me stumble back, but jahseh was right behind me, holding me in place.

"not a bullseye, but pretty close," jahseh said, as we both examined where the bullet hit, near the ear of the figure. jahseh took his hands off of mine, backing up and standing to the side of me. "good job. again."

i aimed the gun once more, hoping for the head as i pulled the trigger.

below the chin.

"you suck!" kaydence shouted from his place on the bench he was sitting on. jahseh's other friends were there too, everyone unanimously decided it was "watch billie embarrass herself day."

i turned toward kaydence and pointed the gun in his direction, annoyed by his comment.

"how much do you bet that if i shot this right now, i'd miss?" i asked.

"i don't think she'd miss, kay," jahseh said.

"shit, okay, i'll shut up," kaydence said, putting his hands up in surrender.

"good, that's what i thought," i said, putting my attention back on the target on the mattress, pointing my gun at it and pulling the trigger. it was taking less and less courage every time i pulled the trigger, and for that i was grateful because i didn't want to have overwhelming anxiety every time i was about to shoot.