his goofy grin

guilt and forgiveness🐺

"thought i'd find you out here" a voice spoke,i look over to see leah walk over to me in human form,i growl slightly and she rolls her eyes "calm down,i'm not here to kill bella....i left the pack" i went behind a tree and shifted back,leah threw clothes at me which i caught and changed into before walking out

"why would you leave?" i asked

"because even though i hate bella and this thing could be dangerous it's still hers and if we can't have babies someone should at least be allowed to have theirs,plus we're the only female shifters and we have to stick together" she sent me a half grin and i smiled,giving her a hug,leah stiffened but eventually hugged back before we pulled apart "now let's go save some leaches" leah said before walking towards the house,i laughed before following her.

"man i can smell them from all the way out here" leah complains

"what the hell are you two doing here?" jake asked and i rolled my eyes

"i'm not going to let my little brother let himself get killed" she motions to seth

"go away leah! i can take care of myself" seth whines

(a/n:can i take a moment to say how adorable seth is🥺💞)

"that you think so proves you need a babysitter" leah retorts

"ok would the both of you shut up?" jake asks "did sam send you two?"

"i left with seth" i answered

"sam doesn't even know i left" leah rolled her eyes.as if on cue we heard several howls

"i think he just figured it out"

"he does now"

me and seth said

"jake,i know what his plan is" our heads go to leah.

****

"sam lost the element of surprise and doesn't want to take you on outnumbered,so he's not going to come at you head on,he's got the place surrounded and he'll wait for his opportunity" jake explained to everyone after we had got information off of leah

"we won't get through without a fight" emmet spoke

"no fights" carlisle immediately shut down that option being the civil person he is "we won't be the ones to break the treaty"

"the treaty is void,at least in sam's mind" i told him from my spot beside jake

"not in ours" esme said softly yet sternly "carlisle,no one's hunted for weeks" emmet stepped forward and he was right,the vamps were slowly starting to lose their golden-yellow eyes and they were starting to turn a light brown

"we'll make do" esme reassured them

"you've done us a great service jacob,nova,thank you" carlisle looked at us in appreciation

****

i sighed as i sat on the cullens porch,it was now night time and we were on patrol,well jake and leah were for right now,seth was inside,leah was the only wolf who refused to go inside,and i was trying to keep myself sane,nothing ever turns up good for us,bellas pregnant and the baby is slowly killing her,we can be under attack any minute, and i feel like there's an empty space in my heart where paul once was,i mean i left my imprint and i haven't talked or seen him in 2 days,we can only go so much time without each other before that mental pain becomes physical,I'm not mad about my choice to help bella,but i shouldn't have left so easily and quickly and for that,a heavy guilt weighed down my shoulders,i also left my brother and i haven't been home,but i'm sure embry told our parents how much of a traitor i am and is helping raise 'an abomination' i mentally scoff and shake my head,i understand both sides of the story,it is killing bella,but if she wants to have this baby she deserves too...even if she wants to die to have it. i run a hand frustratedly through my hair as i heard footsteps approach and the person sat down on the porch next to me,it was silent for a moment before they spoke up

"i'm a dick" i let out a dry laugh before we sat in more awkward silence,i rolled my eyes slightly before speaking

"who finally drilled that into your head?" i turn my face toward jacob as he looked at the ground between his legs

"leah" was his short answer and my brows rose in surprise

"leah?" i repeated, he nodded

"shocker huh?" he gave a slight smile

"uhhh huge shocker" i let out a small laugh,him copying my actions and soon we had a small laugh fit "i'm sorry nova" he apologized after our small laughing session "i shouldn't have left because i was mad,and that day at the reception,everything you said was right,i was just too childish to admit it to you,and myself,and i apologize" he said sincerely

"you don't have to apologize,well i mean kinda" i smirked and he nudged me "but that night i was just heated,and i think when bella flinched at me i was disappointed in myself that i scared her and i took it out on you so i'm sorry too" i sent him a soft smile

"you're like a sister to me nova,i've known you since diapers and i hate that this wolf stuff is tearing us apart slowly,it's tearing everyone apart,our little group;embry,quil,you,and me,me and my dad,you and paul" he said the last part slowly and sadly

"if you're blaming yourself don't,it isn't your fault" i told him truthfully" he just merely shrugged

"at least one of us thinks that" i frowned before pulling him into a hug,he sighed before hugging me back,i pulled away after a few seconds

"now,you go finish patrol,and if you don't wanna face leah,i'll take extra patrol" i nudged his shoulder and he nodded,before standing up,he walked into the forest to finish patrol,while i sat there for a few more minutes before going inside,missing a silver wolf that just witnessed everything as a snarl left his throat from jealousy