blue. [stiles stilinski]

[eleven] i believe you

STILES STILINSKI POV:

"Because I killed someone."

Rue turns around slowly, her face warped into a terrified expression. "What?"

"I killed someone." I repeat again, the intensity of my statement causing me to shake with the realisation of what I'd really done. I just couldn't bring myself to allow Rue to leave, I needed her with me and I didn't care whether the circumstances were bad or good.

Rue furrows her brow, the wind pulling at her hair as she wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to keep her warmth. The silence between us was deafening and neither of us attempt to make any movement as the weight of my statement, slowly crushes us both.

To my surprise,  Rue takes a few steps forward, the space in between us closing in.

"Who?" She asks wearily, her eyes shifting across my face.

"Who did you kill Stiles?"

The enormity of this question hits me, the weary look on Rue's face shattering my heart a little. And then, waves of panic begin to wash over me, as my brain goes haywire, feeding me anxious thoughts. The blood in my body pounded in my ears as I felt my heart threatening to escape my chest. My vision was blurred causing me to see life through a fish-eye perspective.

No not now, anytime but now.

"Stiles?" Rue voice echoed around me, distorted and menacing.

"I-I I can't breathe" I gasp, falling onto my knees, the hard gravel scratching against them. I couldn't look at Rue and it took all I had not to burst into tears, stopping it only by digging my nails into my hand.

Shaking profusely, I bring my hands up my ears, pushing my head into my knees, the sting of my grazes ricocheting through my legs.

"Calm down Stiles, you're embarrassing yourself." I repeat, whispering over and over to myself.

Suddenly, the soft touch of a hand on mine, shocks my senses causing me to look up.

Rue?

"It's okay Stiles." She reassures me, her face knitted into a concerned expression.

"Concentrate on your breathing." She says again, running circles across the back of my hand with her thumb. Bewildered, I continue to stare, reluctantly releasing my hands from my head, as Rue guides them to her lap.

"Stay in the present," Rue affirms, keeping hard eye contact with me as she squeezes my hands. I listen, puzzled at the kindness she is continuing to show me as I focus of the freckle above her lip. "We are going to count to ten okay?" She says softly, a tone of worry laced with those words and I nod in response, my breathing still scattered.

We count to ten, never breaking eye contact and slowly but surely I finally feel myself come down from the overwhelming sense of dread. My body plummets from hot to freezing as the cold of the outside chills me to my core, the rain coming down harder and soaking us both.

Rue moves over to sit next to me, audibly sighing as she pushes her wet hair from his face. I admire her for a moment, the fact that after all of this she was still here for me, still helping me, still caring.

"I'm ready to tell you." I say, the words escaping from my mouth, when my brain finally realised I was safe with her.

Rue looks at me expectantly, nodding gently.

Clearing my throat, I shift uncomfortably preparing myself for the experience I was about to relive.

"After I was with you, the night we went to the pool, Scott asked me to come home for something in Beacon Hills." I begin, staring at my lap. "Anyways, we met at the library and soon everyone started to leave but I fell asleep... So, when I woke up, it was really late and I went to leave but something had happened to my jeep." I continue, my throat closing as I attempted not to cry.

Reliving this moment was getting to me, more than I thought.

"Whilst I was working to fix it, something hit me, it was this indescribable pain, almost like razor blades digging into my shoulder. And I couldn't get out of this things grip, I didn't understand what was happening until it spoke and I realised that it was Donovan." I can feel Rue stiffen and shoot upright when she hears that name.

"Donovan Donati?" She questions, a quiver present in her voice. "The Donovan we were set an investigative case on?"

I meet her eyes and reluctantly nod, hearing her gulp. "Go on." She urges.

"Well, I saw a spanner on the hood of my jeep and in an attempt to escape I grabbed it and hit him. Hard." The panic was rising again but i pushed on.

"I was running through the school, trying to get away and I was so scared. I was so scared Rue, I didn't know what to do. He followed me into the library and kept telling me he was going to kill me, starting with devouring my legs. So i ran and tried to climb up some scaffolding, but he followed and grabbed me. I saw a pin holding the scaffolding together and pulled it. I was expecting him to fall and give me some time to escape, but he didn't. He fell on a pole and-and it impaled him, I didn't mean to kill him Rue I swear, I-I called the police but his body was gone when they got there. And I haven't been able to sleep, I haven't eaten, I can't face anyone back home and I just desperately need everything to stop, just to go quiet for a few seconds."

Before I had a chance to face her reaction, Rue grabs me, her arms wrapping tightly around the back of my neck, hugging me tightly.

"I believe you." She says into the crook of my neck.

I sniffle slightly, only now noticing the hot tears streaming down my face, wrapping my arms around her lower back in response.

"I believe you." She repeats, making sure I'm reassured.